“Excuse me? The whale watch?” James frowned.
It was an ambush.
“We were thinking you might want to look at Beaumont or Waverly,” Ann said. “I could take you for a tour. You could be with your friends, and you’re fit enough that you’d still be able to enjoy all the facilities.”
Polly began to shake her head at the mention of the fancy old-age homes near her in Haverford. “No. I’m not moving to one of those places. I like our house. My garden.” Shadows obscured their features; they were an outcropping of stones arranged around the table. “If it comes to it, I’ll have nurses in my house. Or here. I’m planning to stay here longer now that I am not on your father’s academic schedule.”
James jerked backward, as if he’d been stung. Had he thought she’d just go along with this?
“It doesn’t make any sense,” she went on. “If I’m here eight months of the year, I’d be paying Waverly a lot of money for nothing,” she said.
“Who knows how long you’ll be able to be here eight months of the year?” Knox asked. “Things could change on a dime.”
“What does that expression even mean?” Marina asked, glancing at Polly with sympathy.
“Just something to think about, Ma,” Theo said.
“Theo? You think so, too?” Her plaintive tone made him wince.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I suppose it never hurts to consider new things.”
James rolled his eyes. Knox tapped impatiently on the table. “Mom, Dad would have wanted us to look out for you.”
“I think he’d want you to be on my side.” Polly looked around the circle, at faces either eager or uncomfortable. “I’m only eighty-one. And who do you think looked after whom in our marriage?”
“You’d still have this in the summer, when we could be here with you,” James said, waving his hand to mean Meadowlea. “This garden is extraordinary. You don’t need two.”
Polly had wondered if she were going to say something while they were here. She’d found ways to avoid it, wanting to keep the peace. As it turned out, it had been a matter of finding the right moment, and this was it. “I want you all to know that Agnes and I have decided to dissolve the Fellowship Point trust so we can give at least the Sank to a land trust. Agnes—we—are concerned about the birds—”
“But you said you weren’t going to,” James said. His tone, almost a whine, made everyone turn to look at him.
“No,” Polly said. “I asked what you thought about it, and you gave me your opinion. I am of a different opinion.”
“There would be major tax advantages to doing what you propose,” Knox said.
“Easily said by someone not in line to inherit.” James crossed his arms sulkily. “Dad did not want that, I know for a fact.”
“That’s all right. Dad and I didn’t agree on everything. But the share in the trust is mine. It is the Hancocks’。”
“Yes, and how emasculating that was for him,” James muttered. Ann lay a hand on his arm but he twisted away.
“What about the house?” he asked.
“There are options. I’d like to leave the house to all of you, and you can share it or buy each other out or sell it. That’s more fair anyway, don’t you agree? We are concerned above all with preserving the Sank.”
“What will happen to the rest of the houses?”
“Again, options.”
“Archie will never agree to this,” James said, squeezing himself harder. “When did it happen?”
“We’ve been talking about it for years,” Polly said.
“When were you going to tell us?” Knox asked.
“Soon. Now. Listen, it will all be all right. We will have a proper discussion about it later. I’m tired now, though.” She felt dazed with tiredness, suddenly.
“So what peak shall we climb tomorrow, group?” Theo asked, baldly changing the subject.
She didn’t tune in to that conversation. Instead, she reeled, quietly. Her boys, with their chosen mates, had been planning this for who knew how long. They’d decided, all of them, to suggest this. They’d considered it, communicated with each other about it, planned how they’d present the idea to her, and when. None of them saw her as the head of the family in Dick’s place, but as a dependent, and at any moment an incompetent one. Perhaps already. Had she slipped? Physically, yes, but she was strong and well for her age. Her mind felt fine to her. It was true that grief had made incursions, and she’d had periods of blankness or fog. That could be described as stress, though. Was there more that no one had told her about? She’d check with Agnes.
Younger people always thought they’d never change, and that the diminishing eyesight and hearing loss and groping for names that was typical of everyone who lived long enough wouldn’t happen to them. Yet Polly saw these changes all around her, in all her friends who were perfectly fine, just older. She’d have to be more on her toes around the boys. Not relax, after all. She studied them as they talked, and saw their unease, their attempt at being hearty after their failure. They’d been certain of their success in the matter, she realized. They’d taken into account her possible objections, had waited until their visit was nearly over, when fresh good memories had been born, certain that her devotion to them would prevail. Her famous easy personality.
She stood. “Excuse me, please.”
“Shall I help you upstairs, Ma?” Theo asked.
He was only being thoughtful, as he always was, but now an honest answer seemed a trap.
“No.” She channeled Agnes for a commanding tone. “I’d like the table cleared now.”
Everyone jumped up. Chairs scraped back, napkins flapped softly as they were folded and set next to the places. Jillian took charge of the cleanup operation. She hadn’t said a word in the discussion. Was she against it?
“Do you want to watch TV, Polly?” Marina asked.
“No, thank you.” She’d had enough of voices for one day. “I’m going to take a walk. Don’t suggest that it’s too dark. I do it all the time, and you’re not here to worry then.” She went to the front door and let herself outside.
Oh, that was instantly, immediately better. The night air was heavy with moisture and salt. A starry night. She placed her hand firmly on the dew-wet railing. The door opened behind her.
“Ma? Shall we take a stroll?”
Theo looked like her side of the family—like her fair mother, shorter than his siblings. James was the handsomest, but she liked to look at Theo most. When he was young, on a Eurail pass trip, he’d bought a little house near Urbino that he visited once a year, often alone. He’d learned Transcendental Meditation at college and had kept up with the practice ever since, and he felt he could ready his mind for a whole year of stress by means of a silent week in the Italian hills. He’d always told her she should go use the house, or better yet, go with his family. The girls all loved Italy, and Margot planned to get her PhD in Art History, though that was far off. She’d love to show her grandparents around. Dick had never wanted to go, however. No one knew this but Polly—he was afraid of flying, and couldn’t conscience the expense of a transatlantic cruise.