“It’s fun to have new friends,” I said, “especially within walking distance.”
“Speaking of which, walk me home? Then you can say goodbye to the scoundrels.”
She placed your Muncie carefully in her bag. And I have Virgil’s book.
Maud got up for another cup of tea. So Virgil Reed had written a novel? And published it? That explained his writing that Agnes had found in the Chalet. It also might be an explanation for why he’d come to stay in the Chalet in the first place. He must have been writing another book. Maud wished she could have seen the Chalet, but it had been torn down decades ago. She was beginning to understand why. Virgil and Nan were indelibly associated with the place.
Poor Polly! And she took the ugly doll home with her.
CHAPTER 24 Agnes, Leeward Cottage, February 1961
Dear Elspeth,
This afternoon I was sitting with Nan and Star, who is very good at never jumping on Nan’s legs. Nan is staying in the parlor downstairs because it’s too cold upstairs without the fireplace going all day and night and we can’t leave a four-year-old alone with a fireplace. I didn’t even think about heat in winter, meaning the need of more of it. Next summer I’ll have something done.
We played Go Fish and read a book. Then she wanted to draw, and I sat and watched. I drifted off until I was woken by a bang and a shout.
“Robber!”
Robert was in the hallway talking to his mother. Nan tossed me aside without a thought when he was around. Females!
He’s been taught to leave his boots by the door, so he came in in stockinged feet. The cold wafted off of him.
“How was school?” I asked.
“Good! We learned how to divide.” He was cheerful, as always.
“And conquer?” I quipped. Couldn’t help myself. “Never mind,” I said quickly. “That’s quite difficult, or it was for me.”
He had no response to that. He’s sensitive enough that if division was easy for him, he wouldn’t want to embarrass me with that fact.
“We were just about to do Nan’s exercises with her. Would you like to wait in the kitchen with your mother?”
“I’ll stay.” He smiled at Nan.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” The fact that it was even a possibility was my fault for postponing the exercises until it was already the time he usually came by. I’d procrastinated because I didn’t want to do the exercises at all. Nan resisted them with great ferocity. She yelled and thrashed and cried, and I hated hurting her. Only the prospect of seeing her run in the field again induced me to stick with the program. “I’ll call you when we’re finished.”
“Robber stay!” Nan said. She could say his name perfectly well, but now that she could speak better she enjoyed reverting to baby talk.
“I can distract her,” Robert claimed.
Why not try? It would be an immeasurable help if he could.
I reached my hands underneath the blanket and took hold of her feet. I nodded at him.
“Nan! Knock, knock!”
“Push my hands away,” I instructed her.
“Who dare?” she said to Robert. No movement of her legs, though.
“Come on, Nan, push my hands away.”
“Orange,” said Robert. “Knock, knock!”
Again, she answered him without doing the exercise. I stood up. “This isn’t working. You’re distracting her, all right, but too much. She isn’t focusing.”
His brow furrowed. “What kind of exercises does she need to do?”
“She has to build up strength in her legs. She can’t put weight on them yet, but the bones will knit better if the muscles are strong.”
He nodded. I often feel with him as though I’m with a peer, not a child. I waited, open to what he’d say. His eyes widened—he had an idea.
“Nan—chase me. When you tag me, it will be my turn to chase you.”
She grinned uncertainly and glanced at me.
“You mean she’ll chase you where she is?”
“Yes.” He looked at her. “Chase me! I’ll know if you’ve caught up with me.”
She looked at me again. I was moved that she trusted me on this. I don’t always know where I stand with her; I’m the source of a lot of pain and pressure. “It’s all right. You’ll be fine.” I hoped.
“Ready or not, here I go!” Robert called out. He looped his arm in an encouraging wave, as if she might literally follow him. He loped around the room. She watched. “I’m going to get away!” he goaded. “I’ll run all the way home.”
Her legs moved under the covers.
“I don’t think you’re fast enough to catch me,” he said.
Her legs pumped. She groaned but she kept going. I began to run, too, and soon we were all panting and laughing. Nan’s hairline dampened from the exertion, and she wiped the curls from her eyes. Robert noticed, too, and called out, “Aw, you got me.” He hurled himself on the ground as if he’d been pushed.
Nan said, “I got you, Robber.”
“Should I get you now?” he asked.
“Tomorrow,” she said.
How about that, El? Two children under ten working out a complex set of needs and meeting them. I was quite amazed.
I left them alone to play, let Star out and then took him to the kitchen to feed him. Mrs. C. was stirring a pot. I saw her from the back and noticed the careful way she’d tied the bow of her apron. I usually conceive of her as a blur. To notice vulnerable aspects moved me. I’m certain I never move her. She misses our father and was loyal to our mother.
“Robert’s clever,” I said, and told her about his game with Nan. I thought she’d be pleased. She appreciates him as much as I do. He jollies the other children through their days and helps his father with the caretaking and garden work.
“He’ll follow in his father’s footsteps,” Mrs. Circumstance replied.
“But he’s so smart! He could go to college and have a career,” I said.
“Not everyone’s a good gardener,” she crisply informed me. “Or caretaker.”
I cursed my impetuous mouth. “I know that,” I said quickly. “I only meant he enjoys reading and learning.”
“He reads now, and he learns always,” Mrs. Circumstance replied, further flustering me. I had trod into her territory and didn’t know how to escape.
“Of course. He’s headed for a good future.”
Mrs. C. frowned. I jollied her until we recovered, but I learned my lesson.
Next, Karen came by after her work day at the library. I have hired her to read with Nan and to teach her the alphabet and numbers. The more people in her life, the better. The idea is to prepare Nan for school in the fall. She’ll be in the kindergarten room, and she and Robert can, the hope is, walk to the bus stop together, along with his brothers and sister. I can’t wait to see her as part of a group of children leading a regular day. Meanwhile Karen imagines becoming a Somebody, Somewhere Else. She wants a larger life. Who can blame her? I’m teaching her how to think critically about literature. Her education was apparently dull and rote, but she’s sharp, and it’s fun to talk with her.