I’m not looking to change it, but rather cope with it. Yet no matter how many deep breaths I take or what I tell myself, Isabelle’s words poison my chances of making it through my meal without drinking.
She was fading away before our very eyes.
The acid in my belly bubbles with each reminder of how much Lana struggled after I left. How she struggled to live because of me.
Did you really expect her to move on from one day to the next?
No, but I wanted more for her than me and my issues.
I pull the flask out and take a swig before tucking it back into my pocket.
My phone vibrates.
Iris
Hey! How was your day?
About as good as I expected. What are you up to?
Her text comes back a minute later after Isabelle stops by to take my order.
Iris
Watching Declan cook dinner.
At least one of us is having a home-cooked meal tonight.
You sound jealous.
Maybe because I am. Not of Iris and Declan per se, but of how my situation compares to theirs. I know it’s not right. It makes me feel sick to be anything but happy for them. But there is this part of me—one I rarely like to acknowledge—that wishes I had what they had.
I want to be happy. I try so damn hard, yet no matter how big I smile or how loud I laugh, I always feel empty. It’s a cold, creeping feeling that consumes me late into the night, until I’m forced to welcome my old frenemy.
Addiction.
My phone buzzes from an incoming text.
Iris
He just burned himself taking the bread out of the oven and then proceeded to curse in five different languages.
My sadness dissipates with a laugh.
Shouldn’t you be helping him?
Iris
We’re a modern couple, Cal. He cooks. I watch. He cleans. I also watch.
Is that the key to a successful marriage?
Iris
That and a big dick.
I choke on my sudden inhale of air.
“I thought it was you sitting here but I wanted to make sure.”
I look up at Wyatt, whose body casts a shadow over my phone. His dark hair peeks out from underneath his deputy hat, teasing the edge of his uniform collar.
“Wyatt.” My teeth grind together.
He tips his hat like a gentleman, tempting me to knock it off his head. “I heard you were back.”
“Alana told you?”
He shakes his head. “Cami.”
Of course she did. “What do you want?”
“Just thought I would stop by and give you a warm Lake Wisteria welcome.”
I cock a brow. “Is there such a thing?”
“Everyone here is good people.”
“So long as you don’t piss them off,” I grumble.
The crackle of Wyatt’s cop radio interrupts us, and he adjusts the volume with a quick turn of the knob. “Speaking about that…I wanted to warn you to stay away from Alana and Cami.”
“A warning? How utterly unoriginal.”
He leans forward while holding on to his holster with a tight grip. “Do you have a death wish?”
“No, although I’m sure you would be more than willing to put a bullet in my head. After all, you didn’t mind stabbing me in the back as soon as I left.”
His eyes narrow. “What do you mean?”
“You and Alana.”
“What about us?” He doesn’t even blink.
“How long did it take you to go after my girl?”
“She’s not your anything.”
My fingers dig into the soft flesh of my palms. “Alana might be yours now, but I’ll always be her first in every way that counts.” First kiss. First love. First heartbreak. No matter how hard Wyatt tries, he will never be able to erase our history, even long after I leave this godforsaken town for the final time.
With the way he stares at me, it feels as if he is reading my soul. “Are you…jealous?”
“Jealous of you? What for?” I give him an unimpressed once-over.
“My question exactly.” His lips curve upward, only stoking my irritation like one would fan a flame.
Isabelle arrives with my burger, saving me from Wyatt and his perceptive stare.
I gesture toward my plate. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather eat my dinner in peace without your toxic masculinity stinking up the place.”
“Of course. Nice seeing you, Percival.” He tips his hat.
Him calling me by my middle name reminds me of too much, all at once. My stomach churns, and the food in front of me becomes inedible.
I flip him off. “Fuck you, Eugene.”
“I think I’ll fuck Alana instead, but thanks for the offer.” He winks.
The bastard. My right eye twitches.
“Maybe I’ll even go there tonight.” His eyes brighten. “It’s not like you could hear us all the way from the guesthouse, right?”
I always kept my aggression on the ice and away from others, but all it takes is Wyatt grinning at me, talking about fucking Lana, to tip me over the edge.
I bolt from my seat and reach for him. Either I’m out of practice or he learned some new moves because I end up slammed against a table, my hands cuffed behind my back within five seconds flat. It’s embarrassing how quickly he takes me down, so I’m grateful only five people bear witness.
As if she read my mind, Isabelle holds up her cellphone and snaps a photo. If that ends up on the internet, Declan will hang me by the Dreamland flagpole for all the park visitors to see.
Wyatt pulls me up and shoves me toward the diner entrance. “Welcome back, asshole.”
11
ALANA
“You what?!” I reach out for the doorframe to hold me up. The flashing blue and red lights on top of Wyatt’s cruiser light up the house. Even though I took my contacts out before bed, I can make out Cal’s silhouette in the back of Wyatt’s police car, glaring a hole into his back.
“I just wanted to get under his skin.” Wyatt’s gaze drops to his boots.
“Wyatt Eugene Williams the third. What were you thinking?”
His weight shifts. “I’m sorry.”
I smack his hat right off his head since I can’t slap his face around. “Delilah is going to be so pissed at you for insinuating you were going to fuck me.”
“I already got an earful from Dee when I called to let her know I would be late tonight. She told me to go sleep out on the porch like a dog if I was hell-bent on acting like one.”
“I don’t blame her. You said you were going to…” Nope. Can’t even finish that sentence.
My stomach rolls in protest. There is no way I would ever touch Wyatt, let alone screw around with him since he is not only a good friend, but my best friend’s husband.
Wyatt crosses his arms against his uniform. “I think he’s jealous.”
I let out a loud laugh. “No way.”
“He tried to choke me, Alana.”
“Cal?”
“Yes, Cal! I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that pissed before. It caught me off guard.”
I try to wrap my head around Cal attacking anyone. The only time I saw him unhinged was while playing hockey, and it never went past the arena. Ever.
I shake my head. “He’s got the personality of a golden retriever.”
“Yeah, a rabid one. I panicked for a moment before my training kicked in.”
I rub my eyes. “Is he under arrest?”