“Stop doing that.” I release the seat belt, leaving him to fix it.
He doesn’t give me room to escape, instead choosing to work around me. It doesn’t take him long to figure out the process.
“All done.”
I jump at the sound of his voice, and my ass bumps into his crotch.
My eyes widen at the same time as his sharp inhale.
Oh, shit.
22
CAL
Lana tries to push me away, but with how our bodies are lined up, her ass presses against my dick. She freezes underneath me with a barely audible gasp.
My dick, already semi-hard from what happened in the house, reacts to her touch. Blood pumps directly to the source of my latest issue.
“Are you…” She struggles to finish her sentence.
“You wore the same dress from our first date,” I reply, like that answers everything. The dress somehow looks even better now than it did back then, and I’m jealous of any fucker who gets to look at her today.
“I didn’t—” She glances at me from over her shoulder, her eyebrows scrunching together. “Wait. You remember what I wore that night?” I know what she is probably assuming given how addicted I was to pills.
“I remember everything.” My gaze drops to her mouth. The memory of hers pressed against mine makes my lips tingle.
Her tongue darts out to trace her bottom lip, and I’m hit with the temptation to replace her tongue with mine.
Our kiss the other night has lived rent-free in my head since it happened. Regardless of how hard I try to distract myself, it always returns to the forefront of my mind.
What would have happened if I had stayed?
What if we had talked out what happened rather than run away?
What if I had kissed her again, regrets be damned?
Instead, I drank until I was physically unable to walk back to the house and kiss her again.
“Mommy! Are you ready?”
I jolt. Lana pushes against me again, forcing me out of the car and away from the temptation of her lips.
Probably for the best.
“Let’s get you buckled in.” Lana’s voice comes out huskier than usual as she motions for Cami to come over. While Lana gets Cami buckled in, I put the Tupperware of cocadas in the trunk.
The awkward tension between Lana and me intensifies as we both get in the car. I don’t let anyone drive my car, yet here I am allowing Lana to do the very thing my brothers are prohibited from doing.
Only because she doesn’t trust you behind the wheel.
I tap my fingers against my thighs in a poor attempt to distract myself from the unbearable pressure building inside my chest.
I would never put her and Cami’s life at risk like that, so for her to think otherwise…
It fucking hurts.
My dark thoughts are instantly driven out of my head as Lana peels out of the driveway. The tires squeal, and a car honks as Lana dictates that she had the right of way, although I know for certain she most definitely did not.
I use the safety handlebar for the first time in my life as she navigates through town. There aren’t many stop signs or traffic lights, but she manages to hit every single one in the same way—hard enough to make me suffer from whiplash.
My heart pounds against my chest. “You drive like a madman.”
She cackles. “It’s not my fault the light changed from yellow to red so fast.”
“You were going forty when it turned yellow!”
She shrugs.
I wipe the damp skin over my brow. “How do you still have a license?”
“Probably the same way you avoided staying out of jail after choking Wyatt.”
My mouth drops open. “You’re a menace.”
“I haven’t gotten in an accident.”
“Probably because everyone in town knows to avoid the road whenever you’re on it.”
She snaps her fingers. “That explains so much. No wonder I never get caught in any rush hour traffic.”
“Only because you’re the reason people rush in the first place.”
She laughs until her cheeks turn pink and her eyes water. I’m enraptured by the sound almost as much as the look on her face as she turns toward me with the brightest smile.
You’re absolutely helpless. I bite down on my cheek to stifle my groan.
Lana finally spares me a glance once she parks the car outside of Cami’s school. “Thanks for letting me borrow your car.”
“Anything for you.” I offer her a half-assed salute.
Her back goes rigid.
That’s the second time she’s done that. What’s that about?
Lana doesn’t give me time to second-guess what I said as she opens her door and steps out of the car. “Come on, Cami. Say thank you to Cal.”
“Thank you!” She claps her hands together in the back seat.
“Let’s get you out of there.” Lana grabs the treats from the trunk while I help Cami. It takes two failed attempts and nearly getting stabbed in the eye with the corner of her graduation cap for me to realize two-door cars and kids are a no-go.
Cami finally climbs out of the back, her gown a wrinkled mess and her hat completely off-centered again. I’m not sure how she managed to wreck her outfit in the five-minute car ride, but I’m weirdly impressed.
Although her gown is a goner, I do my best to help her with the hat.
“You remind me of your mother,” I say absentmindedly.
Cami looks up at me with wide blue eyes. “Really?”
“Oh yeah. She was a wild child just like you.” I wink.
Cami giggles, making my chest all warm and tight from the innocent sound. She looks up at me with the goofiest smile, and I return the gesture.
The side of my face tingles, and I look over to find Lana staring at me with a strange expression on her face.
“Everything okay?”
She clears her throat. “Yeah. Just realized I forgot the camera.” She turns toward her daughter. “We better get going before your teacher gets worried.”
“Are you coming?” Cami holds out her hand for me to grab.
I stare at it.
“No. Cal is busy,” Lana answers before I have a chance to even consider.
I look up at her, finding her working her jaw.
“Right. Do you need me to pick you up once you’re done?”
Her head shakes. “Thanks, but no. Wyatt and Delilah can give us a ride back to the house.”
“What about the car seat?” I blurt out.
“I’ll grab it from you tomorrow if that’s okay.”
“Of course.”
I expect to feel a warm rush of relief as they walk away, but my chest throbs instead. A sense of longing, deep and forbidden, takes over. The kind of longing I haven’t allowed myself to feel for years.
This is for the best.
Then why does it feel so shitty to watch Cami and Lana disappear into the school while I stand by myself, looking in like an outsider?
Because you are an outsider.
I try to shake off the feeling and get in my car, but I hesitate outside the vehicle.
A part of me wants to go with them. It’s a small part, but a part nonetheless, and it freaks me the fuck out. So I do what I do best.
I run.
I try my hardest to stick to sober activities like grabbing an early lunch at the sandwich shop and picking up a new book at the store, but nothing relieves the pressure in my chest.