“Yup.” Dee slurps on her strawberry smoothie.
My lips purse. “How?”
“Probably because this is always where we hang out every year.” Violet knocks back the rest of her drink.
“Hey.” Cal’s voice makes the hairs on the back of my neck rise.
Violet and Delilah shoot daggers over my head while I remain frozen with my fists clenched in front of me. Wyatt is the only person to acknowledge his presence with a small tip of his chin.
“Lana, can I talk to you for a second?” Cal’s soft voice makes me frown.
“She’s a bit busy right now.” Violet scowls.
“I think she can talk for herself,” Cal replies with a light tone.
I rise from my seat. “Will you watch Cami for me?”
“Sure. I’ll go let her know now.” Wyatt takes off toward the bounce house.
I turn to find Cal no longer dressed in the strawberry costume. I’m unsure if he burned the monstrosity or returned it to Town Hall.
“Thanks.” He leads us away from the loud music toward the walkway surrounding the park. A few people I know spare us a pinched look, but I wave away their concern with a small smile.
“So…” I kick a rock.
“Mind if we walk and talk?”
“Okay.”
Cal leaves space between us as he walks beside me. “I wanted to talk about what happened earlier and get something off my chest.”
“What for?”
“It’s not what you think.”
“Except isn’t it? I’ve seen the bottle of vodka you keep in the freezer, so it’s not like I didn’t know you were drinking.” Day by day, more of the clear liquid disappears, so I’m well aware of his habits.
He tears his eyes away from me. “I’m not proud of it, you know?”
My stomach drops.
“It makes me feel like a weak piece of shit knowing I need to carry a flask on me at all times, just in case I get anxious or wired. Just the thought of going somewhere without it makes me feel all panicky, especially when I might be forced into a situation that makes me uncomfortable.” He tucks his clenched hands behind his back.
My mouth opens, but I struggle to form any words.
“I haven’t gotten drunk since I broke your mom’s vase.” He looks at me out of the corner of his eye.
“So? You’re still drinking daily.”
“Taking sips throughout the day to cope isn’t the same as getting shit-faced. Trust me on that one.”
“But they’re both part of the same issue regardless.”
“True. But can’t you see I’m trying to cut back here?” His voice cracks.
My head shakes. “Yes, but who knows what will happen the next time something difficult happens? I’ve already been through this with you before.”
“This isn’t like the last time.”
“Of course, it isn’t.” A bitter laugh crawls up my throat.
He stops walking to look me in the eyes. “For starters, I’m not on Oxy anymore.”
I break eye contact first. “I know.”
“I’m not going to make that mistake again. That much I can promise.” His deep sigh makes me tense. “It took me a long time to let go. Too long. But I swear I will never ever go back to that shit or else I give you permission to shoot me.”
My lips twitch. “Anywhere I want?”
“If you want to aim for the dick, make sure to land a bullet in my skull first.” He smiles.
I begin walking again to escape the tingle in my chest. “Do you ever think about getting sober?”
“Lately, all the damn time.”
I want to believe him. I really do, but something still holds me back.
You don’t trust him.
No, I don’t. And I’m unsure if I ever will after everything we have been through together. I’ve been through enough life lessons to learn that the more someone lets you down, the higher probability there is of it happening again.
I clear my throat. “I’m proud of you for getting off Oxy. I know that must have been hard.”
“Not nearly as hard as coming to grips with how badly I hurt you while on it.” He reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze.
My chest aches when he lets go. Cal continues walking, so I fall in step with him as comfortable silence surrounds us.
Cal is the first one to break it when someone glares in his direction. “Do you think people will hate me a little less now that I’m going to be featured on the front page of the paper wearing that costume?”
I bite back my laugh. “Nope, but it was a good try.”
“It must be nice to have so many people who care enough about you to give me nonstop hell.” His lips twitch.
“You could say that. Although they’re a bit overprotective at times.”
“Only because they love you.” His voice matches the warmth in his eyes.
I look away. “You know, I can spread the word that you’re no longer a persona non grata.”
“Please don’t go out of your way to be so nice to me. I might read too much into it.”
I nudge him in the ribs with my elbow. “Jerk.”
He laughs. “I’ll get them to warm up to me eventually.”
“How so?”
“By proving I won’t hurt you, no matter how much they expect me to.”
And just like that, Cal snatches another piece of my heart to add to his growing collection.
29
CAL
The smells and giggles coming from the kitchen wake me up far earlier than I’d like. Merlin seems to agree with the way he darts underneath the bed at the sound of a pot clanging, leaving me alone.
I stumble out of my room while rubbing my eyes. “Hey.”
“Morning!” Cami hops off her stool to come give my legs a hug. Her polka dot apron is covered in the same sticky red substance as her fingers, leaving a nice smear on my sweatpants. Red, white, and blue star clips hold back her wild hair from her face.
“What’s going on?” I cover my mouth to yawn.
“Mommy is going to beat Missy’s butt.” Cami holds out her fist for me to pound.
Lana shoots Cami a glare from over her shoulder. “Camila.”
The kid shrugs. “What did I say?”
“I told you not to repeat that to anyone.”
“Oopsy daisy.” Cami pokes her tongue out of the gap between her teeth.
“Who’s Missy?” I ask.
Lana returns her attention to the stovetop. “My competition.”
“Boo!” Cami makes a big show of turning down her thumbs.
I choke on a laugh. “Competition for what?”
“The Fourth of July bake-off,” Cami answers for her while stealing a strawberry from a large bowl. “Are you coming?”
Shit. I completely forgot the bake-off was still a thing. It’s been a long time since I celebrated Fourth of July the Lake Wisteria way, with the town gathering at the lakeside park for a barbeque and firework show.
I run a hand through my messy hair. “I don’t think so.” If I learned anything from last week’s Strawberry Festival, it’s that spending time around the town only amplifies my anxiety. So, the only way I can limit my alcohol intake and keep Lana happy is if I avoid stressors.