“Good morning, everyone.” Nick spoke into a bullhorn, projecting his voice over the throng of students. “Welcome to citizen’s police academy. I’m Detective Nicholas Anthony, your academy coordinator and an investigator in the Organized Crime and Narcotics division of the Fairfax County Police Department.” A few excited titters rose from the group. I looked around me at the disproportionate ratio of women to men, certain I recognized some of the mothers from Delia’s preschool among them.
“Your instructors this week are all current or former law enforcement professionals, all of them experts in their fields,” he continued. “Please feel free to ask questions. The goal of this program is to help give you a taste of what it’s like to be a police officer, so throughout the week, you will have opportunities to participate in some hands-on training.” A woman in front of me let out a wolf whistle. A handful of others whooped, prompting laughter from the group. Nick’s grin was indulgent behind his megaphone. “These exercises will require your undivided attention, so for your safety, we ask that you do not bring your cell phones to class.” Nick waited for the chorus of groans to quiet. “Since you are not here in a professional capacity, you may sit out and observe any exercises that you wish. If you choose to participate, we will be awarding points to the top performers, and certificates will be presented to the winners on the final night of our program.”
“What do we get if we win?” Vero called out.
“Bragging rights,” Nick replied. “And the admiration of your instructors.” A few of the instructors chuckled. Tyrese winked at her.
“I can live with that,” Vero said, raising a playful eyebrow back.
Nick’s cane clicked as he paced the front of our group. “We’re going to start our training today by demonstrating the intense physical examinations new recruits are subject to before being considered for admission to the police academy. You will be completing the agility course with a partner,” he said, pointing to the arranged orange cones behind him. “Learning to work with a partner is a critical part of what we do. Partnership is about trust and teamwork. A great partner can make or break a case, but they can also save your life in the field.” Nick’s eyes flitted to mine. Joey stared a hole through me over Nick’s shoulder. I had the uneasy feeling he’d been watching me all morning, and I was liking it less and less. “You and your partner will be carrying a life-size dummy through a portion of the course. The dummy weighs one hundred and fifty pounds, so those of you with physical restrictions who wish to sit out the agility course may do so—”
Vero turned to whisper in my ear. “One hundred fifty pounds? That’s nothing,” she said. “Harris definitely weighed more than that. And don’t even get me started on Andrei Borov— Ow!” she yelped as I stepped hard on her toe.
“After you’ve delivered your dummy to the finish line,” Nick called out, “you will complete four laps around the track. Points will be awarded for the fastest completion times for each section of the course. Are there any questions?” He surveyed the class. “Then partner up and form a line beside the nearest set of cones. Those of you sitting this one out will be assisting the instructors. Take a clipboard and a stopwatch and report to Officer Roddy for instructions.”
I spotted Roddy’s head above the crowd and started toward him. Vero pulled me up short. “What are you doing?”
“I’m observing.”
“No way,” she said, pulling me toward the cones. “We are here to get the full experience.”
“No,” I corrected her in a harsh whisper. “We are here to find EasyClean.”
“And we are not going to do it sitting on the sidelines. Even Mrs. Haggerty is getting in on the action.” Vero pointed downfield at my elderly neighbor. Her bright pink running shoes matched her lipstick, and her sweatpants were emblazoned with the word JUICY on the ass. Her grandson held her hand as she attempted a few tame stretches.
“I don’t think we have to worry about Team Neighborhood Watch,” I said.
“Maybe not, but check out Riley and Max.” Vero tipped her head toward the podcasters as they performed exaggerated lunges by the starting line. “Those two did not come to play. But I’m pretty sure they’re in worse shape than you, so stick with me and try to keep up.”
I rolled my eyes as Vero sat on the ground and reached for her toes. She smacked my leg and gesticulated for me to start stretching, too. Ty squatted beside her and leaned close to her ear. “Want a little pro tip?” he offered. Vero nodded, eager for an advantage. “Bend from the knees and let your legs do the work. Women carry most of their strength in their lower body, and the dummy’s a lot denser than it looks.”
“No kidding,” she said, glaring after him as he jogged onto the course. “Did he just mansplain to me the most effective way to move a body? That’s it,” she said, getting up and rolling her sleeves. “Now we definitely have to win this thing.”
“You don’t have to do this, you know.” I turned at the sound of Nick’s voice beside my ear, coming face-to-face with the whistle hanging around his neck.
“Yes, she does,” Vero said.
Nick smirked over his stopwatch. “Okay, then. Ready?”
“Wait,” Vero said. “I have a question about the dummy. Does the body have to be in one piece when we move it, or is there some wiggle room in the rules for that? Because I was thinking—”
“We’re ready!” I pushed Vero toward the starting line. “Are you nuts?” I whispered to the back of her head.
“It was a legitimate question!”
The whistle blew. Vero darted onto the course. She took a running leap toward a high wall made from smooth wooden boards, hooking one hand over the top and dragging herself up to straddle it. Perched on top, she craned her neck to find Riley and Max.
“Move your ass, Finlay!” she shouted down at me. “You can run faster than that! Breathe! In through the nose, out through the mouth!”
“This isn’t Lamaze!”
“Come on, push!”
“What would you know about pushing!” I clasped her outstretched hand and pulled myself up the wall with a grunt, teetering like a seesaw when I reached the peak and nearly plummeting face-first down the other side. Vero vaulted neatly off the top, landing on her feet as I slid down the wall on my belly. By the time I made it to the bottom, Vero was already at the next obstacle, facedown on the ground, army-crawling on her elbows under a web of ropes.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said, panting as I watched her feet disappear under the nylon mesh.
“You can do it, Finlay!” she called over her shoulder. “It’s just like the car at the salvage yard!”
“That’s not helping!” With a resigned fuck, I ducked down on my knees and scooted on my belly under the ropes, following the soles of Vero’s shoes and blinking away the dirt she was kicking into my eyes.
Vero scrambled out the other side. She rose on her toes, checking the progress of our competition. “We’re gaining on them, Finn. Hurry!”