She leans into me, her chest pressed against mine, and she still fits into my arms so perfectly. How could this woman not be made for me?
My eyes drop to her lips and I swallow hard. Her grip on me tightens, and I tilt my head slightly, moving just a little closer. I want just one last kiss. I want her lips pressed against mine, just one more time. Elena’s breathing quickens, and she rises to her tiptoes.
Her lips brush against mine and I can almost taste her. Her eyes fall closed, and I kiss the edge of her lips. She inhales sharply and threads her fingers through my hair, pulling me closer. “Alexander,” she whispers.
I pause at the sound of my name, pulling away reluctantly. I cup her cheek gently, my thumb brushing over her lips. She looks at me as though she can’t figure me out, and I force a smile onto my face. She wouldn’t even be here with me if she had a choice, if I didn’t ask for a date in return for staying away. What she wants is for me leave her alone, yet here I am, wanting far more than she’s willing to give.
A kiss… I have no fucking right.
“Come on, Buttercup,” I whisper. “I’ll take you home.”
Chapter 65
E lena
The way he looks at me… I’ve never seen such raw pain in his eyes. “You’re taking me home?”
Alec nods and holds the door open for me. He leans in when I sit down, as though he’s about to buckle me in the way he always does, but then he pulls away. He swallows hard and takes a step back before closing the door.
He’s silent as he steps into the car and leans back in his seat, covering his face with his arm, inhaling deeply.
“Hey, are you okay?” I ask, suddenly worried.
He pulls his arm away and nods at me, a bittersweet smile on his face. “Yes, of course.”
Alec raises his hand to my face and brushes my hair aside gently. “Thank you for tonight, Elena, even though I didn’t give you much of a choice. When it comes to me, you’ve never had much of a choice—you didn’t even have a choice when you married me. I’ll respect your choices this time, Elena. I’ll do as you asked. I’ll let you go.”
Fear grips me at his words. “Why? Why so suddenly?”
I was convinced he was only going after me because he doesn’t want me to be with anyone else, so why is he letting me go now?
He doesn’t respond. He just drives in silence.
“I guess you lost interest now that someone else has had me, huh?”
Alec grips his steering wheel, his knuckles turning white, yet he doesn’t respond. His silence only increases my anger.
“Don’t like tainted goods? Can’t stand the thought of someone touching what’s yours, so now you don’t want it at all?”
Alexander stops the car suddenly, the wheels skidding. He turns to look at me, his eyes coated in anger.
“Elena, what do you want me to say? I’m at a loss here. I love you. I love you with my entire fucked up heart. I love you, okay? Does it hurt to know you’ve been with someone else when you’re the only thing I can think of? Yes. It fucking does. You cheated on me by going on that date and whatever the fuck else you’ve done, because whether you like it or not, you’re still my goddamn wife. Despite that, I’d take you back in a fucking second, because I fucking love you!”
He looks out the window, visibly trying to compose himself, and I stare at him in shock. Cheating is the one thing Alec would never condone, yet he would, for me? He’s spent weeks standing in front of my house, sending me flowers with notes, my favorite foods, and even some random things that briefly came up in conversation, like the beautiful fountain pen I told him about months ago.
I was convinced it was all a competition to him, that he didn’t want me, but couldn’t stand the thought of me being with someone else either. But maybe, just maybe, I was wrong.
Alec inhales shakily and drives me home in silence, his body tense the entire time. The gates swing open and he parks in front of my house.
He opens the door for me and I step out of the car, expecting him to offer me his hand the way he always does, but he doesn’t. Instead, he takes a step back and walks me to my front door, keeping some distance between us.
I turn to look at him and he sighs as he cups my cheek, his eyes roaming over my face.
“I love you, Elena. I don’t even know when it happened. I wanted you to be mine from the second I laid my eyes on you at Inferno. It started off as mere possessiveness, and before I knew it, you had me enthralled. You stole my heart day by day, and I didn’t even realize it. I didn’t realize that you fucking own me, until you left.”
His hand drops to his side, and he smiles, his smile bittersweet. “Above all, I want you to be happy. I won’t be selfish with you, no matter how badly I want to. I won’t chain you to me when you chose to leave. You’re not one of my belongings. I can’t decide your fate. I can’t tell you what to do, who to be with. You’ve made your choice, and it wasn’t me. I’ll respect that, Elena. I don’t want to, but I will. You deserve true happiness, you deserve everything you’ve ever wanted. I was never good enough for you, and I never will be. I’ll do as you asked, Elena. I’ll let you go. It’ll kill me to do it, but I’ll sign the papers. I’ll set you free.”
He takes a step away, his expression anguished. I grab his hand, and he pauses, his eyes filling with hesitant hope.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice soft. The way his expression falls tells me everything I need to know. He thinks I went out with someone else, and despite his past, despite his trust issues, he wants me back. I pull on his hand, and he takes a step closer to me. “For this first date.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and rise to my tiptoes, my lips crashing against his. Alec groans when I kiss him and buries his hands in my hair. He pushes me against the front door, deepening our kiss. The desperation in his touch sets me ablaze, and I moan when he lifts me into his arms. My legs wrap around his hips instinctively, and feeling him pressing against me, knowing he wants me just as badly, it’s got me losing my mind.
Alec and I are both panting by the time he pulls away, and his forehead drops to mine. “Baby, the date you were talking about…”
I laugh, I can’t help it. “I’m sorry, Alec. It wasn’t a lie. This is the first real date you’ve ever taken me on. It wasn’t staged for the press, it was just you and me. You’ve taken me home and kissed me goodnight… it was perfect. And yeah, part of me did think you were only chasing me because you thought there was competition.”
“And now?” he asks, his tone hesitant. “What do you think now?”
Alec lowers me to the floor gently, his hands on my waist.
“Now I think that you should take me on another date.”
Alec laughs and leans in for a kiss. “Really?” he says, pulling away. “You’ll date me?”
I nod and reach up, my hands threading through his hair. “I will. Let’s date, Alec. Let’s spend some time together. Let’s see if in a year we still want to be together, when all that we’ve got is love .”
Alec presses a lingering kiss to my forehead. “Very well, wife. Let’s date. We’ll date for as long as you want us to, but in the end, I still want to see you walk down the aisle toward me. I want to marry you for the world to see.”