揓ones? Come on. Jesus, I was kidding. You can抰 dish it and expect me to not ever give it back.?
I grab his beer and take a gulp. 揢ghh,?I shudder. 揊ine. But can I please have a different therapist? I felt stupid today.?
揘ope. She came highly recommended by mine.?
I do an undignified stomp, letting my head fall back on a groan.
揊ine,?and I take the rest of his pita.
I call out to Marissa as soon as I get into the house.
She levers up from her horizontal position on the couch and I squeak. 揓esus, I didn抰 see you there.?
揥hat抯 up??
揥e have a problem, Miss.?
揙ooh. Go on,?she grabs the bag of Doritos from the floor by her side.
揘o, for real. This isn抰 a Dorito抯 thing.?
揇ay wine??
揧es, day wine.?
Moments later, day wine in hand, we sit side by side on the couch staring at the blank TV.
揑 officially have a crush on Meyer,?I admit.
揕ike, a harmless, 慼a-ha?silly little flirtatious crush, like you抳e always had??she shrugs.
I turn to her. 揕ike a heated, vividly-pictured-him-naked, sharp longing from my vaginal soul, crush. Throat thickening desire and pining. Distracting, life-altering. I抳e kept it under control, but then he sends me to one therapy session and I抦 suddenly a little too in touch with my feelings if you know what I mean.?
She crunches a stack of Doritos while she searches my eyes.
揙kay厰 she swallows. 揥ell?I want you to know that this isn抰 coming from a selfish place?though obviously, it would probably be uncomfortable and shitty for me if you started banging the man who is about to be my boss, who is giving me my dream job… But, I also genuinely think that this is not a good idea for you.?
揗arissa, I know this.?
揥ell, I just mean that, working with Meyer is a great opportunity for your career. If you guys start hooking up, unfortunately, it could lead to you not being taken as seriously. Then there抯 Hazel and how any potential fallout would affect her棓
揗iss, I know. And Meyer is good for me. He抯 a good friend and I already know he抣l be a good manager. I don抰 want to ruin that. I just need to figure out how to handle it.?
She reaches a finger into her mouth to pick the Dorito gunk from her teeth as she considers.
揥anna go out??
I sigh. 揑 think it抯 the only thing we can do,?I say.
A couple Fridays a month, Lance抯 club has a DJ instead of any comedians or open mic nights. It抯 still rarely crowded, and it certainly doesn抰 turn into a young, hip, dance club of any sorts, but that抯 precisely why we love it.
The crowd is a blend of all ages, and the music is the same. DJ Jerald takes any and all requests, treating us all to a journey through time and sound every time that he works.
We strut through the doors to Don抰 Stop Believing, and shimmy directly over to the bar. I抳e proudly managed to wrap myself in a shirt that looked like a scarf when I began the application process, and start perusing for a man that looks both worthy and capable of taking it off later. Prospects appear to be low, so far, but it抯 early yet.
Marissa presses a tequila drink into my hand because she knows what tonight is about, and because she is a good and supportive wingwoman.
She is a wingwoman who is being diverted over to a man at the end of the bar smiling her way.
She is a wingwoman who appears to be ditching me?
Marissa is a shit wingwoman, apparently.
I fold myself onto the stool and blow out a breath, wondering if I should just say fuck it already and unbutton these jeans. They look damn good but are the kind that require a back and forth process of jumping and using gravity and momentum to get them up in the first place, and then laying down and attempting to flatten myself to Gumby proportions in order to get them buttoned.
Lance ambles over as I slurp the last drop of my drink audibly. 揟equila soda??he asks.
揝ure? I think so??
DJ Jerald starts playing Lover and I make a cynical noise from the depths of my sinuses, as Lance slides me my second drink.
揧ikes. Not a Swiftie, I take it??
I turn to my left just as the observer sits, and I can抰 help the smile that bends my lips at his. He抯 got the kind of cute, guileless look that I always go for. Warm brown eyes, and fluffy blonde hair with a slight curl to it. A labradoodle in human form.
揙f course I am. There抯 a Swiftie song for everyone.?
揙h, so it抯 just this song, then,?he grins, dipping his head conspiratorially. 揅are to let me take a crack at what yours is??
I shrug. This isn抰 the worst way I抳e been hit on before. I抦 intrigued.
揑t抯 gotta be Me!, no??he asks. He抯 wearing one of those shirts that抯 like six inches longer than a normal one梐 style, apparently梠ne that I know Meyer hates. He抯 also wearing a chain necklace. Another prejudice of My抯。 And god damnit, I抦 thinking about Meyer while this objectively attractive man is flirting with me.
揧ou nailed it,?I lie. He doesn抰 need to know that I coincidentally do have a Swift-specific song of the moment, nor does he need to know what it actually is. The only reason one even surfaces in my mind is because I heard it play the other day at the beach, watching Meyer fly a kite with Hazel for the first time. It抯 encapsulated into my memory now, imbibed into my core. Just a sweet melody made sweeter by the people and moments it played to. Run, I think it抯 called.
This guy抯 smile grows. Does he smile a lot, or am I just stuck on someone else抯 frown?
揑抦 Joe,?he says.
揊arley,?and I reach out my hand and smile back.
11
NOW
揗y favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.?- Bill Burr
FARLEY
揥hatever happened to that Joe guy you dated for awhile??is the way Meyer greets me when I open my door.
揗eyer, it抯 our third date and you want to talk about exes??I try for light and teasing, but it comes out annoyed and huffy, like this is really our third date and I am actually miffed that he抯 putting a damper on it.
揑 just saw a lady pushing some sort of poodle in a stroller and it reminded me of him, is all,?he snorts.
The truth is, Joe was a one night stand that just kind of?stuck. His expectations were low, he was easy, affable, and accepting. He gave great oral but didn抰 let his ego get in the way of breaking out a vibrator. We抎 go days without talking without either of us getting upset about it… at first, at least. It was light, fun, and nice.
He was the perfect brain break when things started picking up with my career. Once Meyer and I worked out a contract （complete with a benefits program, excellent medical insurance and even a retirement plan） his name made a huge difference in scoring me great gigs and better, consistent pay. I did a few short openers for bigger names, built a solid reputation quickly, and the gigs snowballed from there. Within four months, I quit my other jobs altogether. After a total of three paying gigs in the span of two years prior to that, I was booking that many a week, consistently.
The travel was a bit rough. Cheap flights, even up to San Francisco or Sacramento, were still full day affairs梬ith multiple plane changes and stops to keep them under budget. But the trajectory of my entire career was skyrocketing.
Joe fit into that.
Until he didn抰？
揌ey. Why don抰 you want to tell me??Meyer says, pulling me out of my wandering thoughts. He leans on the car door in front of me, legs crossed at the ankles, all casual ease. Today抯 henley is a rusty brown, which makes the brunette parts of his hair and beard seem to stand out and nullify the gray. 揧ou don抰 have to tell me if you don抰 want to. I just realized I didn抰 know.?