About an hour after getting to the park, I discover something I didn抰 know about Vi . . . something I抎 never considered.
揔ingda Ka,?Brayden announces, gesturing to the mammoth ride like a game show host unveiling the grand prize. 揟he fastest roller coaster in the country and the tallest in the entire world.?
揟he whole world, huh??Violet gulps. 揘o Kingda kidding??
揘ope. It抯 totally righteous.?
Spencer extends his pinky and thumb on both hands in the surfer shaka sign and mimics Crush, the turtle from Finding Nemo梐 film my kids have watched so many times it抯 permanently branded on their brains. And mine.
揜ighteous, righteous!?
Aaron joins in the movie quoting fun, giving Brayden a high five. 揕et抯 grab some shell, dude.?
Violet抯 eyes grow bigger and more terrified the longer she stares up at the skyscraper-high roller coaster.
揧ou know, I think I抦 gonna enjoy this one on the down low. Like, really low . . . over here,?she gestures to a small grassy knoll. ?. . . on the ground.?
I lift my sunglasses to the top of my head.
揧ou don抰 want to go on??
揥ell, the thing is . . . I抳e never actually gone on a roller coaster before. Ever.?
I抳e watched Violet jump on a moving gurney to administer chest compressions to a patient. I抳e seen her tie a tourniquet over a pulsing wound spouting arterial blood like a frigging geyser. I抳e seen her block the exit door to a domestic abuser after his wife told the cops how she really sustained her injuries.
This skittishness and fear is a totally new look for her梐nd it抯 pretty fucking adorable. It seems twisted and wrong to feel that way, but it抯 still turning me on something fierce. Making me imagine pulling her trembling little body against me and kissing her mouth long and deep until her anxiety is a faded memory. Kissing her . . . lots of places.
揘ever??Aaron asks. 揜eally??
She shakes her head. 揥e didn抰 have the money to go to amusement parks when I was young, and when I was older there wasn抰 any time so, yeah, never.?
揟hat抯 awesome,?Brayden exclaims. 揔ingda Ka can be your first梚t抯 gonna blow your mind. And we抣l all go on with you.?
揑 don抰 know about that, Bray.?She looks to me. 揑s it safe? It doesn抰 look safe.?
I slide my hand up and down her back. 揑t抯 extremely safe. They inspect these things every day.?
揧ou have to!?Spencer begs. 揑 went on last year and I barely made the height cutoff. It抯 so fun梡leeeease.?
揃esides敆Aaron grins evilly棑you don抰 want us to think you抮e chicken, do you??
Violet glances at each of them.
揧ou抎 really think I抦 a chicken if I don抰 go on??
Children are like nature . . . cruel and predictable.
Aaron doesn抰 hesitate. 揧ep.?
Brayden concurs. 揟otally and forever.?
Spencer at least tries to soften the blow.
揝orry梩hose are the rules.?
Vi turns to me helplessly. 揧ou have bad kids, Connor.?
I wrap my arm around her waist, tugging her closer.
揧eah, I know.?
She takes a deep, cleansing breath. And shakes her head like she抯 going to regret this條ike she already is.
揙kay, I have a rep to protect. I抦 in. Let抯 go.?
The boys cheer like she scored a touchdown. And I press a soft quick kiss to her tense forehead.
揧ou抮e going to love it.?
And I think she almost believes me梪ntil we抮e actually sitting on the roller coaster. Side by side, in the third row, because Aaron called dibs on the single front seat so Brayden and Spencer took the next best thing behind him.
揅onnor,?Vi whispers. 揑 don抰 want to freak out the boys, but I have to tell you something.?
I lean toward her as much as the weighted industrial safety harness will let me. 揥hat is it??
揥e抮e gonna die.?
I laugh桰 can抰 help it.
揘o, we抮e棓
揧es, we are!?And she抯 not whispering anymore. 揑抳e never been on a roller coaster and now the breaks are going to fail and I抦 going to die on one! It抯 gonna be just like the Alanis Morissette song!?
揌ey, man,?the bearded guy in the row behind us grumbles, 搚ou wanna chill her out? She抯 killing my buzz.?
揝hut up,?I shoot back. 揝he抯 fine.?
I put my hand on top of Violet抯 clenched fists.
揃aby條ook at me.?
Her eyes remain firmly closed.
揑 can抰。？
And I think she抯 praying.
But then we start rolling toward the launch point, and she snatches my hand up梙er fingers strangling my circulation like killer vines.
揌old my hand, Connor. Oh God, please hold my hand and don抰 let go.?
揑 am,?I keep my voice calm, reassuring, rational. 揑抦 holding your hand right now.?
But rationality has left the building.
揧ou抮e not doing it right!?
That抯 the last thing she gets out before we抮e shot forward like a ball out of a cannon梘oing so high and moving so fast, there抯 not even time to scream.
*
揑 wasn抰 that scared.?
Violet leans back on her hands, her long legs stretched out in front of her, as she sits on a patch of grass with the boys, while I stand in line at the gift shop, watching and listening, a few feet away.
Spencer rolls back and forth on the ground梘iggling uncontrollably like an insane gerbil.
揧ou so were!?Brayden laughs. 揕ook at your face梩his is the best picture ever.?
He抯 not wrong.
Because the hilarious five-by-ten shot of the five of us taken by the automatic camera as we crested the roller-coaster peak truly is a work of art.
It shows Aaron dangling his tongue out and flashing the peace sign, Brayden with both arms raised above his head, Spencer bright-eyed and smiling almost peacefully, and me gazing over at Violet . . . whose face is frozen in scrunched, openmouthed, unadulterated terror.
I抦 going to frame it and put it on the fireplace mantel.
Aaron takes the photo from Brayden and clenches his stomach as a new round of laughter rolls through him.
揑t抯 so great.?
Violet sticks her tongue out at them, taking their hazing like a champ.
揑 was just acting really scared so you guys wouldn抰 feel bad if you were scared too.?
揜eally??Brayden asks doubtfully.
揗aybe. It could be true.?
Spencer scrambles to sit up.
揝o does that mean you want to go on again? 扖ause I抣l totally going on again.?
Vi抯 response is immediate and sincere.
揂bsolutely not. At least . . . not today.?
I walk over to them and hold out my hand to Violet, helping her up and passing her the bag from the gift shop.
揧ou抳e earned it.?
She bites her lip as she peeks inside. Then she tilts her head back and cracks up梡ulling out the black T-shirt that says 揑 Conquered the Ka!?in big, bold letters across the front.
揑 love it! Thank you.?
Vi reaches up on her toes and touches her lips to mine.
It抯 a clean kiss, no tongue or lip smashing. But there抯 no awkwardness, even in front of the boys. It抯 not even a conscious thought梩he kiss is more of a reflex梥omething that just comes naturally.
揑抦 about to eat my hand,?Aaron declares. 揅an we get pizza??
揧es, pizza!?Spencer jumps to his feet.
I slip my hand into Violet抯， folding our fingers together.
揚izza sounds perfect.?
*
Later that night, after we drop Violet at home and the boys have showered and are in their pajamas and Rosie抯 been fed and let out for the last time梩he four of us sit in the living room watching a rerun of The Office before bed.
Spencer is squeezed in next to me on the recliner, Brayden抯 lying on one end of the couch, and Aaron抯 sitting up, on his phone, at the other.