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Girl, Serpent, Thorn(61)

Author:Melissa Bashardoust

As they traveled through the scattered woodland of the mountain steppe, and the sun began to rise, Soraya saw city walls in the distance to the south. That was where her mother had been born, where she had returned one day after meeting a div in these same woods. She imagined what it would have been like to grow up there, in the shadow of Arzur, constantly under threat of a div raid. Her mother had lived so close to danger all her life—it was no wonder, then, that she had seen Soraya’s curse as a reasonable price to pay for her safety.

When they moved closer, Soraya noticed the large gaps in the mud-brick walls, where something had battered it down. She wondered if it was from a recent attack, or if the people there had simply given up repairing it over the years, knowing that the divs were so near.

They stopped when the sun was at its highest overhead. There was still enough grass for the horses to graze, and so the div in front unlatched the litter and led the horses out to where the grass was thicker. Soraya wondered if they planned to feed her, too.

She tentatively stepped out of the litter, unsure if she would be allowed to do so, but wanting to stretch her legs.

“Don’t worry,” said a thin, reedy voice from behind the litter. “We have food for you as well.”

The div came toward her and held a basket out to her. Soraya hadn’t been able to look closely at the divs accompanying her in the morning, when it had still been dark, and so she was struck motionless. The div standing before her resembled a human in appearance—more accurately, she resembled a human corpse, wrapped in a gauzy white garment like a shroud. Her hair was long, gray, and stringy, her skin sallow and leathery, worn tight over protruding bones. A familiar smell accompanied her—familiar, because it reminded Soraya of the dakhmeh. A name formed in her mind, but she didn’t dare speak it.

With a nervous bob of her head, Soraya took the basket and retreated back to the litter.

“You don’t have to stay in there, either,” the div said. “We both know that if you run, I’ll catch you.”

Soraya didn’t want to admit that she found the div’s appearance unsettling—more so than any of the beastlike divs she had seen in Arzur—and so she remained standing while the div regarded her with an amused expression.

“You’ve been to the dakhmeh,” the div said. She leaned forward and sniffed the air. “I can smell it on you.”

Soraya’s stomach clenched, and finally she gathered the courage to say, “You’re Nasu, aren’t you?”

The div only smiled, pleased to be known and named.

And yet now that she had this confirmation, Soraya felt no fear—only confusion. “Why do you follow him?” she asked.

Nasu’s eyes widened in surprise at the abrupt question. “The Shahmar?”

“You’re one of the most feared and powerful divs among humans,” Soraya said. “How did the Shahmar come to inspire such loyalty among divs that you would all follow his commands and treat him like a shah?”

Nasu reflected a moment, and then she said, “If you’ve been to the dakhmeh, then you understand the nature of scavengers—vultures, jackals, and the like. Why hunt for prey when someone else will do it for you, and you can enjoy the spoils? The Shahmar has his uses. He thinks that without him, divs would have no purpose, and he’s wrong about that. But he understands human instinct, and he knows how to exploit human weaknesses.” She gave Soraya a pointed look, and Soraya’s face warmed with shame. “We simply go through the doors that he breaks down for us,” Nasu continued. “And if he wants us to bow our heads as he passes in return, it’s a small enough price to pay. It’s become a bit of a joke among us, the way he believes in such human formalities.”

Soraya listened in fascination, understanding now the secret that the divs had been sharing with her ever since the night of the banquet, the one they reflected back to her in their nods and smiles. The Shahmar thought he ruled the divs—that they were instruments of his vision, his purpose—but in truth, the divs were using him.

“Now you, on the other hand,” Nasu said, drawing Soraya’s attention back to her. “The divs are all very interested in you.”

“Because I betrayed my people?” Soraya said, her throat tight.

Nasu shook her head. “I was there the night of the banquet, when you stepped out into the crowd and let them tear off pieces of you. Even those who weren’t there have heard of it by now. It was … rapturous. You gave yourself to us that night.” She took a step closer to Soraya and raised her hand to hover over the base of Soraya’s throat. “There’s something restless growing within you. We’re all very curious to see what happens when it breaks free.”

Soraya looked down at the hand that was not quite touching her, fighting a primal instinct to flinch away from it. But it was surrender that the divs demanded. Soraya had felt that pull not only at the banquet, but in the pariks’ forest, too. That was the other secret that Azad didn’t understand. There was no ruling the divs—there was either surrender or destruction. She wondered which would befall him in the end, and then her head snapped up, her eyes meeting Nasu’s as the thought struck her: If the divs were more aligned to her than to him now, perhaps she could use that to her advantage. “Would the divs be willing to help me? To fight him?” she asked urgently. But she regretted the words as soon as she’d spoken them. What if Nasu told Azad she was plotting against him? His final threat still rang loud in her ears.

But Nasu didn’t seem shocked or aghast at her questions. She only shook her head with a confused frown as her hand fell away. “We aren’t finished with him yet. Why would we want to fight him? Why would you want to fight him? He wants you to rule with him, doesn’t he? Isn’t that why we’re delivering you to the palace?”

“He’ll kill my family if I refuse him.”

“Then don’t refuse. You’ll be in a far better position to protect anyone you want to protect if you’re his consort. The choice seems simple to me. Either you’re his prisoner while he does as he pleases, or you’re by his side, with the power to influence him. Perhaps he could be useful to you as well.”

Soraya didn’t respond. The advice chilled her, because she heard the truth in it and knew that she might have no better choice. The other div returned with the horses then, and Soraya returned to her litter with the still-untouched basket of bread and cold meats that Nasu had given her.

* * *

They didn’t stop again until they reached Golvahar.

Soraya had shut the curtains of her litter to block out the sun, but when she could no longer feel the sun’s heat, she pulled back one of the curtains and saw the walls of the city approaching, the shape of Golvahar rising up at its center.

She hadn’t known how she would feel upon returning to Golvahar, but when she saw the city, she heard screams in her head, and a knot of guilt formed in her stomach. I’m going to put it right again, she promised the terrified voices in her mind. But she still had no idea how she would manage to accomplish that, and the more time that slipped away, the louder Nasu’s voice grew in her head.

She kept the curtain open now, wanting to see if the city had changed since Azad had taken control. She had hoped the damage wasn’t too severe, but as they wound their way through the city streets, the knot of guilt only tightened.

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