The latter closes his eyes as if he’s just realized he’s been talking about dicks in front of his sister. Which is surprising, considering he’s collected to a fault.
Maksim rattles him—or his rage toward him does.
Interesting.
Maksim hits my shoulder with his. “You lived with men for two years, and while you never participated in a dick measuring competition, you never flinched from it either.”
“Well, that was before I knew Yuri was actually my brother.”
“Guess I should feel like I’m in good company if he also managed to fool his own sister.”
“Stop talking about me as if I’m not here,” my brother says.
Maksim doesn’t look at him and, instead, smiles at me. “What type of game are we playing?”
“Don’t fucking ignore me.” Anton speaks so low that goosebumps erupt on my skin.
“Card game?” Maksim does a marvelous job of completely erasing him. “I prefer that over a board game.”
“Are you an attention whore?” Anton’s voice returns to normal.
Maksim raises his head slowly, the cards clenched in his fist. “The fuck you just say?”
My brother’s lips tilt in a smirk. “Take a hint already. She’s a woman and was never interested in you.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“What? You’re embarrassed that your crush turned out to be a woman?”
Maksim lunges up, and so does Anton. I lift myself in time to stop both of their punches. “Can you guys just chill for a minute?”
“You had no fucking right to reveal that,” Maksim grinds through his teeth.
“I don’t give a fuck.” Anton stares down at me. “Maksim is gay, and since he thought you were a man, he had a crush on you. Now, all his hopes are destroyed. Just like that.”
“You fucking—”
“Get out, Anton.” I push him.
“No.”
“I said get out.” I soften my voice. “Please.”
He grinds his teeth, but he heads to the exit.
My friend still wants to go after him, but I stand in his way. He walks into me, and since he’s a damn bull, I can’t keep him in place.
“Maks!” I push at his chest. “Ignore him. Anton was an asshole, but it’s not worth it. Besides, I don’t care whether you’re gay or straight or an alien. You’ll always be my friend.”
He breathes deeply and stops pushing me, a bitter smile appearing on his lips. “Thanks for the thousandth kick into the friendzone.”
“I’m a woman, so anything between us would be virtually impossible.”
“You say that as if it would be possible if you were a man.”
“I mean, you never know.”
“Don’t fuck with me, Sasha. You looked at Boss like he was your god.”
“That’s not…true.”
“Yes, it is.” He sighs. “I guess I wanted someone to look at me that way, too.”
I pat his arm. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“At least you didn’t mean to hurt me.”
“Anton is…” I pause, searching for the right word. “Not that bad. He’s just too inflexible.”
“If you continue to keep me locked up here, one of us will end up killing the other. You know it, he knows it, and I know it. Do the right thing, Sasha.”
“I…will think about it.”
“Think fast.” He pauses. “Also, I don’t believe Boss would ever orchestrate the death of children. He’s not that type of monster.”
“Save it, Maks.”
“I mean it. He dedicated his whole youth to protecting his siblings, including making them believe he didn’t give a fuck about them. A man like him wouldn’t murder children.”
A foolish part of me wants to believe his words, but Kirill killed that part in that cottage where I waited for him, not knowing what he had in store for me.
Maksim and I play a round of cards. But then Anton sends me an emergency text, and I have to leave a grumbling Maksim after giving him a hug.
I find Anton waiting by the snowmobile outside and hop on behind him. “Just so you know, that was an asshole move. You don’t just expose someone’s sexuality when he didn’t come out himself.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“You’re really a bastard sometimes.” I shake my head. “What’s the emergency?”
“We might have to move up the attack date.”
My heart jolts. “We have a lead?”
“Yeah. Uncle is working out the details.” He pauses. “Babushka wants us to kill Kirill’s family before his eyes.”
I hop off the snowmobile and stare at him. “What are you talking about? We agreed we’d only kill Kirill.”
“Babushka doesn’t think the same.”
“Babushka is an old woman who doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about most of the time.”
“Watch it, Sasha. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Well, isn’t it the truth? She’s been in hiding all this time, and that’s skewed her mind. You and I went to hell and back and agreed that only Kirill would pay. Karina and Konstantin have nothing to do with this. And, actually, neither does Yulia.”
“We had nothing to do with the decision Papa and our uncles made, either, but we lost our whole family because of it.”
“You…agree with this?”
“It wouldn’t be poetic justice if he’s the only one who dies.”
“No, Anton! We’re not going to kill them. Karina is my friend, and so is Konstantin, for that matter.”
He narrows his eyes. “You left New York, but apparently, your heart is still there.”
“We’re not killing them, and that’s final.”
If I’m outvoted on this by both Babushka and Uncle, I’ll take things into my own hands.
8
KIRILL
My killing spree never stopped.
However, I’ve started to put on the brakes enough to protect my position as the Pakhan. It’s not an easy or a fun place to be when everything else is…empty.
However, this is the throne I’ve worked hard to sit on. I might have lost Sasha, but she was by my side for years to help me get here.
More accurately, all she wanted was to help me. She didn’t care whether I got here or anywhere else as long as she protected and supported me.
I’m the one who vied for this position and hurt her for it with that engagement. I didn’t get the chance to celebrate our marriage properly before she was snatched away.
She’s been gone from my life for fifty-three days, and I still can’t go into my old room.
Avoiding my old room is pointless since I see her in every corner of my house, the garden, and even out in the streets.
She’s fucking everywhere.
It’s impossible to purge her out of my system or find closure.
In fact, I refuse to.
“What do you think, Pakhan?” Vladimir asks from my right, bringing my attention back to the meeting.
It’s one of those weekly ones where everyone in the organization bores me with their nonsense before we vote, and then they go on their way.