I hit him with the pillow again. He didn’t even try to block it. “What did you tell her?”
“That you were the best I’ve ever had.”
My teeth clenched. My hands gripped the sheets. “What else?”
“That’s it.”
I hit him with the pillow again. “You had no right. That’s private, Jasper.”
“I know, angel. I know.” He leaned in, his hands coming to frame my face as his eyes searched mine. “I’m sorry.”
“Did you mean it?” That seemed like such a silly question in the face of a betrayal. But I needed to know.
“Without question.”
Well, at least that was something. “And do you see her? When you’re with me?” Please say no.
“No, El. I see you. I’ve only ever seen you.”
So why didn’t that make me feel better?
“Why do you answer her calls?”
He gave me a sad smile. “For a long, long time, she was all I had.”
Understanding dawned. While I had my parents, sisters, and brothers to lean on, Jasper had only had Samantha. She’d been his person. And he answered her calls because he wasn’t ready to let that go.
“Sam tries to keep me connected to our old life,” he said, letting me go. “She’ll bring up old memories, stories. Mostly of us together. The trips we took. The movies we watched or inside jokes we shared. But she’ll remind me of the stupid shit I did in school too. The days before I found Dan’s dojo.”
“Like what?”
“Drinking. Some drugs.”
“Oh.”
“I’m not proud. But it happened.”
“I get it.” There were plenty of kids in Quincy who drank. Some who experimented with drugs. Small-town parties were a rite of passage. “What else does she do?”
“She’ll have lunch with my mother, then call and give me some bullshit story about how Mom wishes I’d call. That I’d go home to visit. She tries to make me feel guilty for disconnecting with them.”
“You don’t talk to your parents?”
“I used to. I stopped.”
“Why?”
“Phone goes both ways, angel.”
Yes, it did. And if they didn’t care enough to reach out, it was their loss.
“Sam knows me well,” he said. “Despite how much I struggle with my parents, I’m still their kid. Still never stopped hoping I’d get the on switch.”
My heart squeezed. Okay, I hated his parents more than Sam. Maybe. It was a toss-up.
Jasper deserved the on switch. Was that why he was so hesitant with my family? Because he didn’t even know what loving parents looked like? Fuck Sam for playing on his vulnerability.
“So she calls to, what? Guilt you into coming back?”
“Basically. I haven’t seen her or my parents since the divorce.”
Whoa. That was a long time.
“For years, I think she thought if she could just get me to come home, I’d take her back. Sam, her parents, mine . . . they all think I went through some sort of mental break and that’s why I moved to Vegas. But what none of them have tried to understand is that I have a better life. That I’m content as a trainer. That I don’t need or want a spotlight. That their money could sink to the bottom of the ocean, and I wouldn’t give a damn.”
They didn’t see the good in him. They didn’t see what made him special.
But I did.
“I’m still mad at you for telling her about our sex life.”
“I’m mad at me too.” He took my hand, lifting it to his mouth to kiss my fingertips. “Forgive me. Please.”
“If you ever tell another soul about us, I’ll feed you to my dad’s dogs.”
“Fair enough.”
“Fine. Then I forgive you.”
Maybe I should have been angrier. Held on to my anger with a steely grip. But as much as it annoyed me, embarrassed me, that a stranger knew we had incredible sex, that stranger was also his ex.
And part of me liked that he’d thrown something in her face.
So I shifted, the sheets rustling as I moved. We were close, but not close enough. So I crawled into his lap, curling against his chest.
It took him a moment—it usually did, especially when he was asleep—but his arms looped around me. Just like they did when he was asleep.
I cuddled.
And Jasper held me.
“I still don’t understand why we’re going to the wedding.” If he’d walked away, if he’d found a better life, why wade into the cesspool again?
“Like I told you, that invitation she sent me was a dare.”
“A dare.” My hand went to his chest, tracing swirls on his skin. “To see if you had the guts to face her.”
“More or less. And I’m sure she wants to rub her new husband in my face.”
“Who is he?”
Jasper shifted us, scooting back to lean against the pillows, but he kept me in his lap. “A guy who went to our high school. He was a prick back then. I doubt that has changed.”
“What if you just told them to fuck off?”
“Then she’d win.”
So Jasper was still fighting too. Still holding on. He was still trying to prove he’d made the right decision. That he wasn’t a failure by walking away.
“I’m going because I need to see her. To face her.”
Because he still loved her? “Does she know you’re bringing me?”
He nodded.
“Does she know that we’re married?”
He nodded again. “She called me a while ago. I told her.”
Probably the same call when he’d told her I was the best sex of his life. Take that, Sam. “Do your parents know about me?”
“I got an email from Dad a few days after that. It said he heard congratulations were in order. That he was looking forward to meeting you at the wedding.”
“Oh. That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
A polite, shallow email. Meanwhile, my brothers had stormed into my house to confront Jasper. My parents were likely writing letters for an intervention.
Jasper had said that his parents weren’t cruel, but I wholeheartedly disagreed. His parents were the definition of cruel. Ignoring a child was cruel. Having a child so your wealth would have a landing spot . . . cruel.
It was heartbreaking. No wonder he’d clung to Dan.
I only wished that when he’d asked Dan why he’d been special, Dan had made it crystal clear. I wished that Dan had told Jasper he was incredible. That he was kind. And though it was guarded behind a plethora of locked doors, that Jasper had a good heart.
Dan should have told him he was important.
Well, I wouldn’t make the same mistake. Before this was over, Jasper would have at least one person in his life tell him he was worthy of love.
“I’m using you, El.” Jasper’s arms banded tighter. “By taking you to this wedding, I’m using you because I want to throw your beautiful face in theirs.”
Did he expect that to surprise me? Or piss me off? It didn’t. “Hell, yeah. We’re going together, and I’m going to look hot.”
Jasper stared down at me, eyes wide and unblinking.
“What?”