“We don’t even know if he drank the alcohol,” I tell them. “It could have been Lily or…” I shake my head at the thought. “Production.”
“They wouldn’t,” Ryke says, his eyes dark. “If they fuck with their addictions, I’m done. I’m fucking off this show and they can fucking kiss my ass.”
I swear I become stupider when I hear curse words strung together.
“The only way we’ll know is if we ask Lily and Loren,” I tell him.
“They’ll lie. You think they want the three of us shoving our disapproval and disappointment down their throats?”
“So let’s not even ask,” I say with a casual shrug. “Let’s just act like they’re two dishonest, despicable addicts who don’t deserve to explain their side of the story.”
Ryke narrows his eyes at me. “You know what, I’m fucking glad that production has been editing you into a giant fucking prick. Because this…” He waves his hand. Ryke becomes overly animated with his body gesticulations whenever he’s angry. A huge part of me wants to tie him up just so he stops. “…is the most annoying shit I have to deal with in my fucking day.”
I have so many rebuttals to that, but provoking Ryke takes time. Which I don’t have right now.
“So we agree to talk to Lily and Lo?”
Ryke glowers.
“I’ll get them,” Rose cuts in and slides between us to leave out the door.
CHAPTER 34
ROSE CALLOWAY
Lily and Loren take a seat on my bed, and Lily keeps shaking her head the longer Connor and I explain the situation. She finally cracks when Connor mentions the empty tequila bottle. “He would have thrown up if he drank! He’s on Antabuse.”
The drug is for recovering alcoholics, causing them to be ill if they ingest liquor. It doesn’t curb your cravings; it’s merely an incentive not to drink.
Loren stares at the ground, his eyebrows bunched in confusion.
“Are you still taking it?” Ryke asks roughly.
Lo glares. “Shouldn’t you know that? You count my pills.” He’s acting abnormally sketchy, deflecting instead of outright answering his brother. I almost charge forward on the offensive, but Connor holds me by the waist, two firm hands on my hips.
Ryke rubs the back of his neck. “I stopped because I was trying to trust you.”
“I don’t know why you even ask me,” Lo says angrily. “You already think I drank.”
“Honestly, I don’t know what to fucking think.”
Connor speaks before Lo can blow up. “We can squash this really easily. We haven’t seen you sick these past couple weeks. All you have to do is show us your pills so we know that you’re taking them.”
“It’s not your fucking body, Connor,” Loren sneers. “This doesn’t affect anyone in the room but me and maybe Lil. I don’t have to tell you shit.” He stands like he’s ready to leave, and Lily’s face falls in confusion.
I am boiling. I am on fire. I want to punch him for being so clueless! I tear through Connor’s hold on me, and I sidestep to block Loren’s body from the door, outstretching my hands to either frame. “Your addiction affects everyone in this room. If you can’t see that—”
“I see just fine,” he interrupts, his voice carrying an edge that sharpens with each word. His cheekbones are so severe, his features beautiful and terrifying all at once.
“Don’t be an idiot.”
Lo lets out a short, bitter laugh. “That’s so fucking easy for you, isn’t it?” he says with malice. “Being smart. Miss Perfect. What do you have to worry about? Does my hair look good today? Do my shoes match my dress?”
“Lo,” Connor warns.
But this doesn’t stop him.
Loren watches my breathing deepen in pure rage. All I see is my sister. He said he was going to protect her, and he’s enabling her again. Why the fuck would he do that? Why is the most significant person in her life her savior and her demon?
I want to hurt him so badly. He makes it way too easy to do so. That’s the problem.
Lo saunters over to my neatly arranged bookshelf. “Let’s see, Rose…” He grabs a hardback and carelessly flips through it before shaking the book by the spine. My chest caves. “How does this feel?”
Horrible.
And then he opens my manila design folders and rattles them until all the papers flutter to the floor. “Stop it!” I shout, trying to collect them, every misplaced item like a knife in my side. My anxiety pitches.
“This doesn’t bother you, right?” he says. “Nothing’s fucking wrong with Rose Calloway? I’m the idiot. I’m the fucking moron in your world who’s so stupid and selfish that he would drink again and again.”
“No…” I say, but my head spins so much as I rearrange the papers. My hands tremble as I reach for my sketches in charcoal, some in color.
More than a couple I drew when I was only a teenager.
He spilt part of my childhood on the floor and scrambled the years.
CHAPTER 35
CONNOR COBALT
Rose is close to manic.
Her eyes dance wildly over the papers in distress. The last time I’ve seen her like this, she was pacing her room, crying, shouting things that made no goddamn sense. It was after her best friend betrayed her—helping Lily cheat in Princeton behind her back and blaming it on me.
But this is so fucking different.
Because it’s Loren Hale. No matter if he curses us both to hell, I can practically taste his pain that throttles his body. He says cruel things in hopes that we’ll say them back and hit him.
It’s that simple.
And neither Ryke nor Rose has to consult with me to learn this. We all understand him by now.
So no matter how much I want to throw Lo against the fucking wall for putting Rose in a state of distress, I can’t touch him. I can’t curse him to hell. I can’t punch him in the fucking face. It’s like abusing a kid that’s been shit on his whole life. I’m not going to add to those bruises.
I just need to concentrate on my girlfriend who breathes sporadically, tiny sharp gasps leaving her lips. I bend down behind her and whisper a line of French in her ear to gauge her response. She hardly pays attention, shuffling hurriedly through papers, accidentally smudging the charcoal on one. And her blackened fingerprints stain another.
She pauses in a horrific daze, and for a split second, my whole world tilts.
I make an impulse decision. I grab her around the waist from behind and lift her from the papers, most fluttering from her hands.
“No!” she screams, kicking out to try to reach them.
“Stop,” I force in her ear.
She screams again, a high-pitched wail that rips out my heart.
I only want to calm her. I grip her wrists in front of her body, about to whisper to her again, but Lo interjects.
“It took you twenty-three goddamn years to finally lose your virginity.” He pulls at another loose thread, this time, hitting me full force. “And you lost it to a guy that’s just fucking you for your last name.”
“LOREN!” I shout. My face pumps with an unbridled, irritated, hell-bent rage. I don’t think Lo has ever seen me this upset. I want to kick him as badly as he wants to be kicked. I would never go after Lily the way he’s going after Rose. She may be strong, but she has her moments of fucking fragility. And he’s purposefully breaking her.