I thought about that the last time he asked me this, and he’s right. Considering how mad Kirill was when I helped Konstantin all those months ago, this tactic might get his attention, but it could also backfire. Besides, I’m trying to prove that I’m loyal to him, and I can’t do that if I go to the brother he considers an enemy.
“I can’t do that. I’m Kirill’s guard.”
“You’re awfully loyal to someone who doesn’t give a fuck about you.” Konstantin rises to his full height. “Take it from me, Sasha. That man only cares about himself. No one else matters.”
I shake my head but don’t say anything. I’ve gotten to a stage where I need to preserve my energy.
“My offer still stands,” he says, then climbs into the car that’s waiting for him. I’m guessing Yulia will join him and probably glare at me as if I’m a pest.
I wait for a few moments, but the car leaves without her.
It’s rare for Konstantin to go to any meetings without his mother glued to his side. Could there be something more to this? Are they colluding against Kirill again?
Not that they’ve ever stopped, but they really couldn’t do him any damage when his aunts and uncles—on Yulia’s side of the family—actually prefer doing business with Kirill rather than Konstantin. Yulia has been fighting it tooth and nail, but it’s safe to say that she’s losing.
It may be weird that I’m thinking about Kirill’s well-being when he’s indirectly starving me, but I really meant it about being loyal to him.
Because that’s the only way I’ll get to be by his side. If I’m not here…where would I go?
I can’t go back to my family. And I don’t want to. Not when Kirill thinks I betrayed him and they might try to get me to kill him the next time I see him.
Besides, I need to prove that he had nothing to do with my family’s massacre. He’s just not that type of person.
Before he woke up, I got the chance to snoop in the office after they temporarily paused the security. I even managed to check the safe, but there were no files that Roman may have left about my family.
The only thing I found were a few contracts, valuables, and paperwork about some shady deals that he kept as evidence against the people involved—mostly politicians and celebrities.
The scent of food, soup, fish, and some type of salad fills my nostrils, and my stomach growls the loudest I’ve ever heard it. I grab the plate Anna brought me and it takes everything in me to push it away instead of bringing it closer.
A droplet falls on the top of my head, then another follows, and I’m soaked within a few seconds as rain pours down.
Usually, I’d try to take shelter, but that’d mean hiding and not proving how resilient I am about this.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt the rain. So…long.
I stand on wobbly feet, and a wave of dizziness nearly knocks me back down.
The world starts to blur, but I still stand with my feet shoulder-width apart with my hands on either side of me, then stare up at the angry rain.
I close my eyes and get lost in the moment, not caring that my clothes are sticking to my skin or that I can barely remain upright. I spent so much time the last few years running, living for duty, and trying to work on myself that I missed these small moments of feeling and enjoying the simple moments.
The last thing I was able to feel properly was that kiss in Kirill’s car before everything went bust.
I’ve spent a long time wanting to return to that moment, but the bitter reality is that there’s just no going back once things are done. All I have is the aftermath, his silent treatment, and the scary feeling that no matter what I do, I’ve already lost him.
My legs give out on me and I stumble, then fall. I’m ready for the impact, but instead of hitting the ground, I land on something warmer and safer. Through the slits in my eyes, I think I catch a glimpse of Kirill’s masculine face. Even though he’s glaring down at me, I can’t help the smile that lifts my lips.
He came for me.
That’s the last thought I have before darkness takes me under.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
I slowly open my eyes due to the continuous sound near my head. For a moment, I think I’m in a nightmare, but then a very familiar room comes into focus.
The same room I was kicked out of not too long ago.
I stumble to get out of bed but pause when a tube pulls at my wrist. The reason for the dripping is an IV stuck in the back of my hand. I start to inspect it, but a deep, authoritative voice stops me in my tracks.
“Don’t move until it’s finished.”
Slowly, almost as if I’m scared, I lift my eyes to where Kirill is.
Earlier, when he caught me in the rain, I thought maybe I was dreaming. Kirill wouldn’t go that far for someone he considers untrustworthy. But I was right, after all. He was there and chose to help me.
He’s sitting on the sofa opposite the bed, legs spread wide, one hand holding the back of the sofa and a tablet in his other. The intense color of his eyes isn’t dimmed by the glasses. In fact, they appear more sinister now.
“I…uh…thank you,” I stutter like an idiot.
He tilts the tablet to the side so that his complete attention is on me. “For what?”
“Saving me earlier.”
“I didn’t save you.”
“But you prevented me from falling.”
“Only so you didn’t crack your head on my doorstep.”
Ouch.
Okay.
My teeth sink into my lower lip, stopping me from blurting out something that will definitely not play in my favor. He’s probably being mean on purpose, and if I rise to his provocations, that’s no different from letting him into my head.
“Why did you bring me to your room then?”
“You needed to get nutrients in you.”
“You could’ve had the doctor do that in the clinic or the annex. Why your room, Kirill?”
“Because it’s closer. And it’s Boss, not Kirill.”
My hands fist on my lap as I try but fail to breathe properly. Every inhale is filled with his scent—cedar, woods, and passionate animalistic memories from on this very bed.
That’s the wrong thought to have. Wrong thought—
“What are you playing at now?” His question drags me back to the present.
“I’m not playing at anything. I told you I won’t stop until you give me my old post back.”
“Are you threatening me with your life, Lipovsky? Does it hold so little meaning for you?”
“It’s not that it holds so little meaning, and it’s not easy to do this, but I refuse to be pushed aside by you.”
A silent moment falls between us before he abruptly stands and heads in my direction. I instinctively push back against the headboard before realizing I’m cowering away. What the hell?
Kirill stops by the side of the bed and stares at me with those cold eyes that could be mistaken for a weapon. “You should’ve left while you had the chance.”
“I don’t want to leave,” I murmur. “But I also don’t want to be allocated to other departments. I came here to be your bodyguard, and my place is by your side.”
“After everything that’s happened, you have the audacity to say your place is by my side?”