“Fuck mingling.” He glares at the crowd. “That Yakuza old geezer is trying to corner me for a drink, and the worst part is that he doesn’t even do vodka.”
I smile. Ever since Damien was arranged to marry a Yakuza princess, he’s been more irritable than not, especially with Rai and Kirill, who helped arrange it.
In their minds, it’s simple. They need a strong alliance with the Japanese, and to accomplish that, a marriage has to happen.
It’s so common in these circuits that it’s become normalized. I still see the concept as a little disturbing, mainly because women don’t get a say in it. They’re just traded like stock between men.
“What the fuck you smiling at, pretty boy?” He narrows his eyes. “You find this amusing or something?”
I stand tall, my expression going back to all seriousness. “No, sir.”
“You obviously do. No wonder they say the quiet ones are the scariest. You’re a fucking sadist, aren’t you?”
Try the opposite.
My cheeks start to feel hot as erotic images from earlier barge into my head. It takes me a few moments to dispel them.
I clear my throat. “If you’re against this marriage, why don’t you pull out? Surely you have the power to.”
Okay, so maybe I’m trying to save the poor Japanese girl from Damien.
His lips curve in a smirk. “Who says I’m against it?”
“You…want to get married?”
“I didn’t think so in the beginning, but now, I’m sure I do.”
Wow. I feel more sorry for the girl. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have the attention of someone as unhinged as Damien.
He’s been doing all sorts of things to fight Kirill and has been failing for so long that anyone else in his position would’ve given up.
Not Damien.
“Her father is a fucking nuisance, though.” He clicks his tongue. “Question. Do you think she’d still marry me if her father was somehow removed from her immediate surroundings…say, for good?”
“You can’t kill your future father-in-law, who happens to be the head of the Yakuza, Damien…I mean, sir.”
“I’m not going to kill him, I’ll just remove him for a while.”
“That’s still unacceptable.”
“Even for maybe a month?”
“No.”
“Fine. I’ll do it after the marriage.”
“You can’t do that either—”
“Fuck you, Sasha. You can’t do this, and you can’t do that. What are you? My mother?”
Damien’s words end in a yell when Rai kicks him in the shin with the toe of her shoe. He grabs his leg and raises his fist to punch whoever assaulted him, but he stops when he sees her face.
“The fuck was that for?”
Rai cradles her pregnant belly and glares at him. “Don’t speak to Sasha that way again or I’ll break your leg next time.”
“What do you mean that way? I was just telling him how useless he is at giving advice. He kept telling me that I can’t kill and all of the boring nonsense.”
“That’s because he doesn’t want you to get in trouble. If you don’t appreciate his advice, don’t ask for it again.” She strokes my arm. “You okay, Sash?”
I rub the back of my neck and nod. Jeez. It’s almost unbelievable how much warmth I’ve found in Rai ever since that kidnapping.
She’s tough to outsiders and even some on the inside, but she has a heart of gold, and I’m so honored to be on the list of people she cares about.
“Why don’t you ask how the fuck I’m doing? I’ve known you longer than pretty boy Sasha.” Damien tries to step between us, but she shoos him away.
“Sorry, but this position can’t be given to just anyone.”
“The fuck? I disapprove of this.”
A tall, lean, and darkly handsome man steps to Rai’s side and places a possessive hand on the small of her back. It’s her husband, Kyle.
No one should be fooled by his good looks. This man is the top sniper in the organization. Even better than me. He’s an ex-hitman, so it makes sense that his skills are on a different level.
Rai’s eyes turn glittery as she looks up at him with so much love, it makes my heart squeeze. And Kyle—the man who used to be a killing machine? He looks back at her as if she’s the reason he breathes.
His hand rests on her belly, and he holds her tighter. I can’t help watching them whenever he does these subtle ownership gestures in public. Even Adrian, the man who’s rumored to hate his wife, was grabbing Lia possessively earlier.
Why does my heart hurt at these images?
Because you’ll never be able to experience them.
Kirill and I can’t go public with our relationship unless I stop being a man, and even if I do that now, there’ll be more repercussions about the fact that I was hiding my gender.
Not that I want that or anything.
I know it’s impossible, and there’s nothing that can be changed about it.
“Fuck off, Damien,” Kyle tells him in a distinct British accent.
“You fuck off.” He smiles at Rai. “I’m up for that affair anytime you wish.”
“I’ll spill your brains out right here and now,” Kyle says point-blank.
Damien grins. “I’d like to see you try.”
Rai places a palm on Kyle’s chest. “Ignore him. He’s just being antagonistic due to being bored. Why would he think about an affair when he was demanding that his marriage be brought up?”
“That was…” Damien trails off, lost for words for the first time ever. “A tactical move. Not my fault you don’t know what that means.”
“Do you even know what it means?” Kyle jabs at him. “Or did you use it because you think it’s fancy?”
“Fuck you, you fucking fuck. Also, as Kirill said, arranged marriages are for power, and only fools wouldn’t take advantage of that. Point is, I’m no fucking fool.”
Rai and Kyle egg him on, saying that he’s just a bit too desperate.
I, however, am thinking about Kirill after the simple mention of his name. I instinctively find myself searching for him in the crowd.
The hall is packed with people, chatter, and the smell of expensive perfumes mixed with premium alcohol. Men are clad in their best suits, and women are in their most beautiful cocktail dresses, including Yulia, who’s been holding on to Konstantin’s arm the entire evening.
Classical music is being played by a quartet in the corner, the tunes nearly overwhelmed by the chatter and laughter.
Kirill, however, is nowhere to be seen.
He assigned Viktor to be the one who follows him everywhere today, and while I was a bit disappointed by that, I couldn’t exactly protest since we have a day-to-day agreement and today happens to be Viktor’s.
Still, it’s weird that Kirill hasn’t inserted himself between me and Rai and Damien. He’s always annoyed whenever they talk to me, because Rai is trying to recruit me to her side, and Damien is often attempting to grill me for information.
He's probably in a meeting with the Pakhan. That’s the only reason he wouldn’t be witnessing this situation. Otherwise, he’d be here to explicitly tell Rai and Damien that my name is Aleksander, not Sasha.