“Yeah…” I trail off, then blurt, “But that was only in the beginning. I wanted to search for information but didn’t really find anything, and I liked being with you so…I swear I wasn’t spying on you.”
“There’s nothing to spy on. I have no idea what the fuck Roman was doing with your family, and he left no records behind, which is admittedly strange since he left records about everything.”
“Oh.” My shoulders hunch. So it’s another dead end.
“If Roman was involved, however, it probably was due to a bad move from the head of your family. My father’s strongest point was mind games and pure sabotage. That’s the only way he managed to get to the top and force someone like Yulia to marry him.” He caresses my cheek gently, lovingly even. “I’ll look into it from my position.”
“You…will?”
“You’re my wife. Your problems are now mine.”
I didn’t think I’d ever fall deeper in love, but I just keep falling for this man all over again.
Of course he has nothing to do with what happened. He didn’t even know his father was associated with my family.
I grab his hand and then kiss the top of it. “Thank you.”
“There’s no gratitude between us.”
Slowly, I sit up and look down at him, then bite my lower lip. “What do we do now? Should I go back to being your guard in front of the others or…what exactly?”
Kirill sits up beside me. “Do you want to be a man for the rest of your life?”
“No, but I also don’t want to endanger your position.”
“In that case, I have the perfect solution for this situation. You’ll tell everyone you’re leaving, and then you’ll relocate to a cottage I own in the mountains. After I’m done with business here, I’ll bring you back as my wife. It should take me about six months.”
“Six months?”
“Don’t worry.” He grins. “I’ll come by several times a week.”
The mere idea of being separated from him this soon squeezes my heart. “But why would you need six whole months?”
“I just do.” He kisses the top of my forehead. “Can you do that time for me?”
“I prefer to stay by your side as a bodyguard than leave as your wife.”
“I want that, too, but I also want you to feel as happy as you were yesterday in that dress. I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin, Sasha. Besides, we have to give everyone time to get used to you being gone before I introduce you as…Aleksander’s twin sister, maybe?”
I can’t help the smile that stretches my lips. “You really thought this through, didn’t you?”
“I always do.”
“Are you going to visit me all the time?”
“Of course.” He bites my lower lip. “Are you up for dressing as a man one last time?”
I nod.
While leaving everyone will be hard, the thought that I will return in a few months puts some much-needed balm on the wound.
Kirill will not only help me search for the truth about my parents, but he’ll also fulfill my dream about living as a woman.
No more masks, disguising, or trapping myself inside.
I’ll finally be…free.
My lips capture Kirill’s and I kiss him with all the love and gratitude I feel toward him.
He might be a monster, but he’s my monster.
And I refuse to have it any other way.
Saying goodbye is the most bittersweet process I’ve ever gone through.
Karina cried her eyes out and begged me to stay, then when I said I couldn’t, she announced that we were no longer on speaking terms and ran back to her room.
Viktor pulled me to the side and said that he should’ve known I was a woman all along, but then he told me to not die out there until he gets to the bottom of this, which was the giant’s way of asking me to stay, I guess. He continued to watch me with narrowed eyes after he gave Kirill the keys to the cottage that I’ll be staying at.
Maksim was genuinely upset and couldn’t understand why I wanted to leave in the first place. For him, none of this made any sense whatsoever, no matter how much I tried to explain that this life isn’t for me anymore.
He and Karina were the angriest about this decision and gave me the cold shoulder.
Yuri appeared more disappointed than angry. I think I caught him glaring at Kirill, but I don’t know if it was real or if I was imagining things.
Everyone else offered me best wishes, even if their expressions were turned downward. Some men even argued that leaving them under Viktor’s ruthless reign was such a low blow.
Anna hugged me goodbye and gave me a bag full of food containers as a parting gift.
I had to hold back the tears as I climbed into the car Kirill lent me to drive. These people have become my family, and the fact that I have to leave them, even temporarily, drills a hole in my heart.
Kirill stands by the window and speaks low so that only I can hear him. “It’ll take you about five hours to reach the cottage. Call me when you get there.”
I nod and whisper, “When are you coming by?”
“A week from now.”
“A whole week?” I don’t attempt to hide the disappointment in my tone.
“I have a few important meetings this week that I can’t get out of.”
“Fine, I guess.”
“Did you know that you look adorable when you pout?”
I smile and resist touching him when everyone is watching, including Karina from behind the curtain in her room.
Leaning close, I say, “I’m going to miss you.”
“Fuck,” he murmurs. “Now, I want to come along.”
Yes, please.
“Go.” He taps the top of the car. “Be yourself.”
I grin, wave at everyone, and then I drive away from the mansion.
Goodbye, Aleksander Lipovsky. From now on, I’m Aleksandra Morozova.
27
SASHA
By the time the week ends, I’m bored out of my mind.
During the first few days, I kept an open mind and explored the surrounding forest, hiked to the top of the mountain, and screamed from the bottom of my heart.
I was so happy to wear girl clothes and sports bras instead of chest bandages. Though I still wore my men’s sweatpants and hoodies. What? They’re comfier.
Then I did my daily workouts in the garden surrounding the small cottage.
Despite having wood stacked inside the house, I cut some more logs and threw them in the fireplace.
The cottage is located in the middle of nowhere, with only a mountain and a huge forest surrounding it.
On the inside, it looks like a fairy tale. The dark wood of the walls and the flooring gives the architecture an elegant feel.
There’s a cozy sofa opposite the fireplace, over which hangs a TV. There isn’t much service here, but there’s a flash drive that’s stacked with hundreds of movies and TV shows. I tried watching some, but I don’t have the patience to stay still for hours. I’d rather be moving around.
Which is why I’m getting positively bored out of my mind.
I need to stay calm, though, because I have another six months of this.
Jeez. How am I supposed to survive that?
But anyway, that’s for later. I stare at my phone for the hundredth time today, just to re-read the exchange I had with Kirill earlier.