John, Jack, and Billy take their coffees and fritters to go, leaving me and Dillion in the office. We need to go over one of the plans for an addition, which is perfect because it means I can ask her a couple of questions in private.
“How many projects do you have Teagan working on right now?”
“A few. I can’t even tell you how awesome it’s been having her help. With all these huge renos, we needed someone with an eye for design, and it’s not something anyone local has a lot of experience with.”
“Yeah, she really does have an eye for design.” She rearranged my living room, and now the space looks twice as big. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”
“It’s about Teagan, and it’s kind of personal.”
“Is everything okay with you two?” Dillion’s expression shifts to concern.
“Yeah. We’re good.” I flip a pencil between my fingers, needing to do something with my hands.
The tension in her shoulders eases slightly. “Okay. That’s good. You two seem like a bit of an unlikely pair, but I’m glad you work together.”
“Me too.” I nod a couple of times. “I’m worried about her.”
She stops leafing through her day planner and gives me her full attention. “Worried how?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. I don’t know how much I should or shouldn’t say, but any kind of advice I can get is better than nothing. I tell Dillion about what happened last night and how I have a feeling it’s not the first time.
“She told me she has insomnia sometimes, but I don’t know. I worry that she’s bitten off more than she can chew. She’s working five different jobs, she’s putting together all these design plans, and she’s taken on the entire fall farmers’ market on her own. The last two on their own would be a lot, but with everything else . . . I don’t know. I’m concerned she’s overwhelmed but she doesn’t want to disappoint anyone?” It’s framed like a question, because that seems to be something Teagan might do.
Dillion leans back in her chair, realization dawning. “Oh shit, Van warned me that she’s terrible at saying no, and I’ve been handing her new projects, thinking he was joking.”
“I don’t know if she recognizes that she’s taking on too much. I keep finding her in the living room working on emails first thing in the morning or the middle of the night.” I scrub a hand over my face. “She has a bunch of prescriptions; one is for attention issues.” I don’t want to talk about her behind her back, but I want to see what Dillion knows.
Her expression is pensive. “Oh yeah, Van mentioned that before. I think she was diagnosed as a kid or something? They never made a big thing about it because they didn’t want her to feel stigmatized or like it defined her as a person.”
“Okay. That makes sense.” And Dillion understands what that’s like, since Billy was diagnosed last year with bipolar disorder. It’s part of who he is, but it doesn’t define him as a whole person. “I just . . . the whole not-sleeping thing worries me a lot. She’s always hopped up on those energy drinks, which I don’t think is helping her at all. And her not being able to say no is probably making it all worse.”
Dillion taps her fingers on the desk. “She’s always been the kind of person to put herself last. Her job, her living situation, even her ex-boyfriend.”
“You mean the asshole who cheated on her?”
Dillion nods. “She started dating him because her dad thought he would be a good, stable partner. And then she kept trying to make it work even though she wasn’t invested because her dad liked him.”
“I didn’t know that.” But I’m starting to think there are a lot of things Teagan is hiding. And under that sunshine-and-smiles facade is a woman facing a lot of demons. I wish she understood she doesn’t have to face them alone.
Dillion makes a face, like she’s concerned she’s crossed a line. “I don’t know how much I should or shouldn’t say. I don’t want to get into your personal business, Aaron, but she’s been through a lot, and I think she’s still trying to figure things out. And maybe taking on too much in the process.”
I hold up a hand to stop her from having to step into the awkward territory of my relationship nonhistory and what exactly I’m doing with Teagan. “We’re well past the fling stage. I know I don’t have the best track record, but I’m serious about her.”
“Okay. That’s good. I hoped that’s where you were at, since the two of you are always together, but I wanted to make sure.” Dillion blows out a breath. “Van worries about her a lot. She was only six when her mom died, and the coping strategies in that house weren’t great. Their dad is a good guy, but he has the money-managing skills of a teenager on a shopping spree. He used money as a substitute for actual parenting. Add to it her brother going to jail for fraud, her feeling like she’s part of the reason her brother is in jail, her ex breaking it off and dating her former best friend, and having her entire family’s financial status shift—that would be a lot for anyone. Her entire world has been thrown into upheaval, and now she’s on this soul-searching mission.”
“I wonder if her talking to Bradley isn’t helping things, either,” I muse.
“She’s talking to Bradley?” Dillion’s eyes are as wide as saucers.
Half of me wants to backtrack, because based on her expression, Teagan hasn’t told Dillion or Van that she’s talking to her brother in jail. “I think he calls her sometimes.”
“Shit. Did she initiate it, or did he?”
“I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Bradley’s a manipulator, and Teagan can’t say no.” She scrubs a hand over her face.
“Maybe it’s not malicious on his part?” Dillion’s feelings about Bradley are tainted by Van’s experience.
“Maybe, but I think we’ve all learned that the word no doesn’t seem to be in Teagan’s vocabulary.”
I don’t know if there’s ever been a time in our relationship when Teagan has been anything but agreeable. And that’s . . . unnerving at best. “Do you think she’s afraid of letting people down? Or she’s looking for approval?” I think about the ways I dealt with losing Devon. I couldn’t focus in school. Nothing I read was absorbed. My head was a spinning mess of guilt and pain. I tipped over the edge and found an escape in alcohol, looking to numb the feelings. I failed a bunch of assignments and moved back home, to Pearl Lake.
I got a job with Dillion’s dad, worked long, grueling hours. Wearing out my body was the only way I could settle my mind enough to be able to sleep. And I needed that break from all the noise in my head, because the drinking was only making things worse, not better.
“Maybe? I can lighten her load up for the next little while, at least until she’s done with the projects she’s currently working on.”
“I don’t want to take things away from her, but if you can keep an eye on her, that would be great. The not sleeping worries me. It’s not a sustainable way to live.” Exhaustion leads to poor decision-making.