“You told us that already.”
“Something tells me that she’s going to tell us that every time we drive down it,” Eddie replies casually from the back seat.
We get to the end of the driveway and Christopher turns to look at me. “I don’t even know where the neighbors are.”
“Turn right,” I direct him.
“What if they’re left?”
“We’re going left too in a minute, just drive.”
Christopher’s eyes meet Eddie’s in the rearview vision mirror. “Don’t get any ideas, kid, this is not going be one of those weird, inbred places where we’re friends with the neighbors and hang out on Saturday nights toasting marshmallows and shit.”
I smirk. “It might be.”
“Hayden.” He looks over at me. “I’ve done a lot of shit that isn’t my normal jam but I draw the line at being fake farming friends with people.”
“Just a quick introduction, that’s all. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Christopher. They probably won’t even like you.”
“What does that mean?” He frowns over at me.
“Well…you’re you.”
His mouth falls open in horror. “And what is wrong with being me?” he gasps in outrage.
“Nothing.” Jeez. “It was a joke, stop being so touchy.”
“For your information, they will fucking love me.”
We get to the next driveway and Christopher puts his blinker on and turns in. The driveway isn’t as long as ours, the house is closer to the road, we drive through paddock after paddock of beautiful cattle and I look around in awe.
“Oh, he’s got good stock.”
“Bet you want to wank those cows,” Christopher mutters dryly.
“No actually, I don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t wank cows, you wank bulls.”
“Semantics.”
“Not really, they don’t have dicks.”
Christopher’s eyes meet Eddie’s in the rearview mirror once more. “Seriously, are you hearing the shit that I have to put up with here?”
Eddie’s smile is so big that he’s nearly splitting his face.
We get to the house and pull in, it’s old and decrepit and looks like it needs a good lick of paint. A woman comes out the front door when she hears us pull up.
“Hello,” I call.
“Hello.” She smiles. “Can I help you?”
Christopher looks like he just swallowed a fly, this is so far out of his comfort zone.
“We moved in next door last weekend and I wanted to come over and meet you.”
“Oh…” She smiles. “Come in, come in. Keith,” she calls, “our new neighbors are here to meet us.”
The screen door opens and an old burly man comes into view. “Hello.” He smiles, he has a kind face and weathered hands.
“Hello, I’m Christopher Miles.” Christopher shakes his hand. “This is Eddie, and this is Hayden, my fiancée.”
Fiancée.
Hearing that will never grow old.
“Hello, I’m Keith, and this is my wife, Jane.”
“Hello.”
“You’ve got some beautiful cattle there, Keith,” I smile.
“Sure do. Got the prizewinning bull down there, won the show three years in a row.”
“Oh my gosh, really.”
I can’t look at Christopher because I know how badly he wants to roll his eyes right now.
“Yep. Don’t we, Janey?”
Jane smiles warmly, it’s obvious she’s very proud of her husband and their cows.
“Hayden wanks bulls,” Christopher interrupts us.
My god.
Keith’s and Jane’s faces fall.
“I’m into animal husbandry.”
“Well, well.” Keith seems excited. “That’s a very interesting field, that is.”
“My parents own a huge cattle farm and hopefully one day our farm next door will have some cattle on it too.” I smile hopefully.
“Well, you need to go to the cattle auctions next Tuesday. It’s only on three times a year.”
“There’s auctions next Tuesday?” I ask, excited.
“Best thoroughbreds in the land will be on sale.”
From the corner of my eye I see something coming down the front steps toward us and I glance up to see the cutest brown puppy of all time.
“Oh…” Eddie gasps as he bends to pat it.
“You want one?”
Eddie’s eyes flick to me.
“Absolutely not,” Christopher cuts in.
“They’ll go quick, their father is the best working dog I’ve ever had.”
“Working dogs,” I whisper. “I do need a working dog.”
“Come around the house and I’ll show you.”
Eddie and I follow her around and out the back to a barn and there’s puppies everywhere, brown kelpies, cute as a button.
“Oh my gosh.” I bend down as the puppies run around in circles and jump up and nip us.
One grabs Christopher’s jeans with his teeth. “Don’t.” He subtly tries to push one away with his foot.
Eddie is sitting down on the ground, puppies all over him, and I smile as I watch on.
“Good working dogs, you say?” I ask again.
“The best you’ll ever get.” Keith replies.
“How much are you selling them for?”
“Hayden…” Christopher taps me on the back.
“I normally sell them for five hundred each, but seeing you’re our neighbor, I’ll give you two for the price of one,” Keith continues.
Christopher taps me on the back, harder now. “Hayden, a word…in private.”
“Just a minute, Keith.” I hold my finger up and step to the side. “What is it?” I ask Christopher.
“We can’t have a dog from here,” he whispers. “It’s not happening.”
Eddie comes and stands next to us as he listens in.
“You said I could do whatever I wanted at the farm,” I reply.
“Key word farm,” he whispers. “It’s not a fucking zoo.”
“I told you that I need working dogs. I’m not sure if you realize this, but a farm is not a farm without animals.”
“You don’t have cows yet, where are you going to work the dogs, in the kitchen? Newsflash, Hayden, they don’t cook.”
“We need dogs,” I tell him.
Eddie’s eyes widen in excitement as he looks up at Christopher all hopeful like.
“Don’t gang up on me. All I’m saying is, you need a pedigree and I think you should look into this further, you don’t just buy the first brown dogs you see next door because they are cute,” he whispers angrily as he looks between us.
“Best guard dogs too,” Keith adds.
Christopher’s ears prick up. “Guard dogs? Are they vicious?”
“No, but they’ll let you know the minute someone is on your land, very protective over their family.”
Christopher’s eyes hold his and I know he’s piqued his interest now. “What about wolves, do they kill wolves?”
Keith throws his head back and laughs out loud. “You’re hilarious, man.”