“I haven’t done it with an actual person before tonight. Well, other than oral,” I confess quietly.
“Hadn’t. You have now.” The correction is delivered with a waggle of her eyebrows. She doesn’t seem shocked in the slightest. When I look at her questioningly, she laughs. “Did you think I didn’t know that? It’s literally going to be my job to know the things people don’t tell me and lead them to discover themselves. For now, that’s easiest with people I know well—like my friends.”
That makes sense, but I still feel vulnerable that she knew. What else does she know about me that I haven’t figured out?
“I guess I thought it was kinda my secret,” I agree solemnly. Meeting her eyes, I confess, “It was amazing, Sam. But he regretted it. While he was still inside me.”
“Shit. Ouch.” She’s thoughtful for a moment and then asks, “What about you? I don’t give a single, solitary fuck about Carter Harrington or his feelings. All I care about is you.”
I search my heart, my body, and my mind. “The only thing I regret is that I left my panties on his coffee table.”
She glances down at my legs, following them under my dress. “Alexa, remind me to clean my couch before class tomorrow,” she blurts to the room.
The automated voice repeats the message.
She laughs in shock, and then we’re both laughing. I flop back on the couch, and her eyes go wide as my legs flail.
“Quit acting like I have my bare business on your couch!”
She purses her lips, looking doubtful. “So you did take my advice and wax the wild jungle?”
I swat her leg as I gasp in offense. “It was not wild down there.”
“Well, obviously, not anymore.” She adopts a Steve Irwin documentary-style voice, “What was once natural bush has been tamed and civilized. Like a national park.”
“Thanks. I feel better,” I tell Sam sarcastically, still laughing a bit. “I think I’m going to go home. I want a shower, my tablet, and maybe a good night’s sleep.”
“You sure?”
I am. Tonight might’ve been nothing like I thought it would be, and Carter might be nothing like I thought either, but sex with him was good and I’m going to hold onto that.
“Let it gooooo . . . let it goooo . . .” I sing, holding my arms out wide. “I’m good.”
Stealing the tune, she suggests, “Maybe try . . . Carter’s a fuckin’ hoooo . . . oh noooo . . .”
About to walk out the door, I pause. “What’s the deal with Rebecca and the raccoon tail butt plug?”
Sam zips her lips. “Patient-therapist confidentiality.” She winks and adds, “Except it’s not a real patient or real group, just a client study where we role play. However, on a completely unrelated note, you know how I said people discover themselves? Have you ever heard of a furry? Because someone in my study group has some shit to learn . . . about themselves.”
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
CARTER
It’s time to deal with what I’ve done. At least in one way, which is why I’m back at my parents’ house. The other issue with Luna? I’m not sure what the hell to do about it.
I purposefully guide Dad to the living room for our talk, wanting to avoid his office and the power play inherent to it this time. Sitting on the couch, my hands clasped between my knees, I implore him to understand. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I told you the whole family dinner song and dance was overkill.”
“You think the family dinner was the issue? That’s what was overkill?” he barks, leaning forward in the chair with his eyes drilling into me. “Not the lie in the first place?” He presses his finger into the coffee table. “Or not telling us before dinner?” Another finger press.
He shakes his head, obviously frustrated. “What the fuck, Carter? We don’t do business this way. You know that.”
The disappointment in his eyes cuts deep. As much as I hate to admit it, on some level, I’m still the boy trying to garner his dad’s approval. I look down at my shoes, then study the rug between them. It’s Persian, with swirling designs in various shades of blue. I think Mom bought it the last time she redecorated, or maybe it was the time before that. But the answers aren’t in the fibers beneath me.
I look Dad in the eye, ready to take my lumps. “I wanted the deal. For Elena, for Blue Lake, and mostly, for me. I can bring in clients myself, manage my own accounts. I’ve been doing it for years. But this one? I knew it was a big deal and wanted it. I was . . . am willing to do whatever it takes. Including learning about art or taking in a ringer to seal the deal.”
Dad listens, though he huffs in exasperation before he answers snidely, “You think this is how to show me what you’re capable of?”
Throwing my arms wide, I shout, “It wasn’t just about that. But now that you mention it, well, nothing else was working!”
“Neither is this!” he shouts back.
We glare at each other, matching gritted teeth making our jaws sharp. I give in first. “I disagree. It was well in hand. But what do you want to do now?”
He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, and for the first time, I see his age wearing on him. Dad has spent a lot of years at the helm of Blue Lake Assets. Maybe this stunt is the straw that broke the camel’s back?
“I don’t know,” he mutters. “This is your mess. I’m inclined to let you fix it, except that you’ve dragged Blue Lake and the family into it too.”
I bite back a snarky comment that technically, he dragged the family in by forcing the dinner. If he’d stayed out like I’d asked, this would be my issue alone.
“I can fix it, though right now, there’s nothing to fix if you think about it.” He looks at me doubtfully, and I explain my thinking. “Dinner was fine, and Elena believes Luna is my wife. She likes us and is open to using Blue Lake for portfolio management. I’ll meet with Elena and her current finance guy, and we’ll go from there. There’s no need to do anything. I feel bad about it because she seems like a nice lady, and maybe I didn’t need to do all of this, but at the time, it seemed like a way in. For now, it is what it is.”
“Seriously? You think continuing this charade is the way to go?”
“You think telling her I lied is better?” I counter. “Then it would have all been for nothing.”
Dad pushes up from the chair, and I have a split second of wondering if we’re about to take this outside again. Thankfully, he paces to the window and stares out at the garden instead. He’s got his thinking face on, and that’s never a good thing.
“Look, I’m sorry. It all got out of hand so quickly.” I’m trying to talk him down and stop whatever mental journey he’s going on because it can’t bode well for me.
Still gazing out the window, he declares, “You’ll tell Elena the truth. If it costs us the deal, so be it.”
“What?” I balk. “I can’t do that!”
He whirls, glaring at me. “You can, and you will. Even if it succeeded, it’ll be found out eventually, and it’ll be worse. Or did you plan a fake divorce too?”