I couldn’t tiptoe around it any longer. The elephant in the room was taking up more space by the day.
Heart pounding, I lingered in the living room doorway. There was a tiny pang in my gut. A month or two ago, I would have been in there hanging out with them. Now I could barely bring myself to enter the room.
When they didn’t immediately notice my presence, I rapped on the doorframe to get their attention and drew in a deep breath.
I hated confrontation. Especially when it was two on one.
“Hey,” Amelia said. “What’s up?”
I cleared my throat. “Um, so…I’m thinking of breaking the lease,” I said. “Actually, no. I’m planning to. In the near future.”
They both turned and stared at me like I’d suggested we burn the place down.
Amelia grabbed the remote and turned the TV volume down. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know yet.” Anywhere but here.
Jillian set down her bowl of chips, curling her lip into a snarl. “Then why are you moving out?”
Gee, I can’t imagine why.
“Let’s be honest,” I said, folding my arms. “This isn’t working out for any of us anymore. I don’t even feel comfortable having Chase over here, and that’s not fair to either one of us.”
“Well, you can,” Amelia snapped. “No one is stopping you.”
“So he can get into it with Paul and Luke? Hard pass. And speaking of Luke, he’s here too often for my liking.”
Jillian scoffed. “He was here once.”
“Exactly. One time too many, as far as I’m concerned.”
“But he’s still our friend, B.” Amelia raised her eyebrows, like she’d dropped some kind of truth bomb.
“Clearly,” I said. “That’s why I’m giving you notice now so you can find another roommate.”
“And what if we can’t?” Jillian asked.
“That sounds a lot like a you problem.”
“You signed the lease too,” Amelia said. “That means you’re still on the hook legally, even if you move out.”
“Then I guess you’ll have to sue me.” I shrugged. “Literally.”
And good luck with that because I had no money to my name. I lived on scholarships and student aid. But they could try. I would rather eat money I didn’t have than deal with them any longer.
Jill furrowed her brow, blinking at me like I was some kind of hallucination.
“This is so irresponsible. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, based on who you’re dating.”
“Excuse me?” I shot her a scorching glare. “Don’t you even.”
Talk about glass houses. It would take a tiny pebble to shatter hers to pieces.
She recoiled, probably because I’d never spoken to either of them like that. I wasn’t sure I’d ever used a tone that sharp before, maybe not even with Luke. But I was out of patience—especially with her.
“Anyway, just a heads-up,” I said, turning to leave.
“We can’t find someone in the middle of the semester like this,” Amelia called.
I looked back over my shoulder, giving them a knowing look.
“Oh, I don’t know, guys. Maybe you could ask my brother. He’s here a lot, isn’t he?”
They both stared at me, dumbfounded, but didn’t respond. I started for the stairs with a heavy heart. Beneath my anger toward them was no small amount of sadness. As crappy as they’d been lately, losing two friends—or two people I’d thought were my friends—still hurt.
OceanofPDF.com
CHAPTER 23
OceanofPDF.com
NOT BROKEN
Chase
Bailey curled up against my chest as we lay in my bed, watching an NHL game. We chatted idly, only half following the game as neither of us was particularly invested in the teams playing. As far as a weekday evening went, it was pretty perfect. Except for one thing: the conversation we needed to have.
The sure to be difficult, guaranteed to be uncomfortable, hopefully not disastrous conversation.
Maybe it was too soon to talk about this, but it would weigh on my conscience until we did. And I refused to do it the night we went out for dinner, potentially fucking up her birthday twice in one year.
The whole situation made me furious. I literally treated one-night stands and casual hookups better than Morrison had treated his own girlfriend. It was wrong on every level.
Here goes nothing.
OceanofPDF.com
BAILEY
Chase picked up the remote, turning down the volume on the TV. “Hey, James?” He shifted to look at me and studied my face, voice low. “How much do you remember from our walk from XS to my place?”
“Not a lot,” I said, shaking my head. “I remember getting sick. Vaguely. That’s about it. Why?”
His brows knit together. “Because you told me something that night, and I don’t think you remember.”
Alarms went off in my head, complete with blaring sirens and flashing red lights. I was certain the gist of this conversation was: he didn’t like me anymore because of it, and now he was ready to end things between us. Already.
Cue maximum panic mode.
I scrambled to sit upright. “You’re bringing this up now? That was ages ago.”
“I held off because it was something personal,” he said. “I didn’t want you to think I was teasing you or being a dick. But with the way things have changed between us, it feels wrong for me to know this when you don’t know that I know.”
My breath snagged, heart pole-vaulting into my throat.
No.
I didn’t. I couldn’t have. I wouldn’t have.
“What did I say to you?” I whispered, panic winding up my neck like a vise. “Tell me, please.”
“You told me that Morrison sucked in bed.” Chase paused, uncharacteristically hesitant. Time slowed as I held my breath, waiting for him to continue. “Specifically, that he didn’t go down, and that you faked it with him on the regular.”
Just like that, my dignity evaporated into thin air. Not even my closest friends knew that second one, and I’d told Chase the night I met him? Good lord. And it was infinitely more humiliating given how much more experienced he was than me.
“Okay.” I wriggled out of his embrace, slid out of bed, and stood up. “If you need me, I’ll be at home dying of embarrassment. Tell my parents to get a nice headstone. Gray marble, something like that.”
“Wait. Can we talk about this, please?” He reached over and gently grabbed my hand.
Humiliation simmered in my gut, caustic and searing, threatening to boil over. I spun around to face him, cheeks scorching. “Why do you even like me if you know this?”
“What?” Hurt flashed across his face, and his lips tugged into a frown. “I like you for a million reasons, and none of them have to do with sex.”
“That’s a relief,” I said, “because I seem to be defective in that department.”
Chase tugged my hand, pulling me to sit beside him. He rubbed my skin with his thumb, making slow, smooth strokes. “You’re not defective.”
“Sure feels like it.” My voice cracked, and I drew in a jagged breath, trying to quell the sob lurking in my throat. The only thing more embarrassing than this would be ugly crying in front of him.