Fuck.
Wyatt, stay. Stay with me, goddammit. You don抰 leave like this.
I bite down on what抯 left of my roll so hard it hurts my teeth, snapping me from those thoughts. I don抰 care to relive that day, and Wyatt sure as hell doesn抰 need to, either.
Stay with me.
Isn抰 that all I抳e been asking him to do for years?
Still trying to save him when I thought that was long over while I waited to find out if he lived under an unforgiving sun, smoking a cigarette a few paces from a field hospital.
Dakota pulls a handful of peppermints from her purse, stands, and brings them to Wyatt.
揌ere. My gift. If it ever gets too bad, try these,?she says, handing them over.
揟hanks. I will,?he says, clearing his throat loudly.
She returns to her seat beside me. I抦 still bewildered he actually took the mints without fussing.
揇o you always travel around with mints??I ask.
揙nly since I started working for you.?
I snort.
揥hat? Why does working for me require mints??
揃ecause when I miss lunch, I can always suck on a mint and tide myself over,?she tells me.
Wyatt lets out a bark of harsh laughter. 揇amn, dude. Let the girl eat. No wonder she抯 so skinny.?
揑抳e never told her to skip lunch once. She does that on her own,?I insist, leveling a look at her like I抦 suddenly on trial.
揃ut you do give me impossible deadlines most weeks. Especially since I started juggling two different roles.?
揕ike hell,?I growl, angry that it might be true.
揧ou do,?she says, wearing a teasing smile.
揟hen they can抰 be impossible by definition, Nevermore. I don抰 need to be a writer to know that. If they were, you wouldn抰 keep meeting them.?
揧eah, because I skip meals and get six hours of sleep on a good night,?she mutters.
I stop and stare. Am I that awful?
Is that why she抯 mixing up texts with me and apparently her fuckwit ex?
Guilt roils my guts, and I hate it.
揧ou抮e depriving her of sleep too??Wyatt gives me a sterner look this time. 揋oddamn. Nevermore is gonna drop you like an old shoe.?
揙ld shoes are easier to drop than bad habits.?I look at Dakota. 揑f the timelines are unrealistic and you抮e truly that frayed, why haven抰 you said anything? I抦 not a monster. I can make accommodations.?
She shrugs slowly, squaring her shoulders before she looks at me again.
揕ike you said. They抮e not technically unrealistic. As long as I find the time…？
Damn her.
I glance up at the moon, high over the bay now, and back at her with a roughness in my throat.
揧ou never mind jumping down my throat about anything else. Why haven抰 you just told me you抮e not a drone and you抣l get it done when you can? I care about your lifestyle habits.?
揃ecause I like getting paid. Besides, it抯 not all bad. A nice pile of work keeps me from having time for poetry, and you know how that goes, so棓
That wins her a smile.
揕iar. I抦 willing to bet you still find time for that. Why can抰 you find the time to eat and sleep in when you抮e not worshipping your ivory Adonis??I tell her.
She doesn抰 answer.
Wyatt gives us a lost look.
When we both notice, we burst into laughter.
Later, back in the town car, Dakota looks at me with a question hanging on her lips.
揝o, Wyatt抯 the reason behind your pathological cinnamon roll needs,?she says.
揌e抣l stay in his tent for days without eating. He won抰 come out for anything else. Regis rolls are too sweet for me, but he loves them.?
She gives me a wary look. I can抰 tell if she thinks I抦 being sweet or stupid.
揑t isn抰 healthy, I know. He抯 not well with his diet. First it was his Banh Mi obsession, the same sandwich from the same particular Vietnamese shop every day. He spiraled down from there. I抦 hoping we抣l progress back to protein and vegetables at some point, but for now, I can抰 let him starve.?
I抦 aware of how pathetic that sounds.
Every week, I question whether or not I shouldn抰 just knock him out and drag him into treatment. But if I take that last tiny ounce of freedom, of will, of pride he still has…what the hell will he have left?
揂re you guys really just war buddies??she asks.
Where do I even begin? We are, but we抮e not just war buddies like your average comrades in arms who serve together, make it home without a scratch, and laugh about it years later.
Without him, I never would抳e come home in one piece.
揂re you in a hurry to get home, Nevermore??I ask, steepling my fingers.
She looks at me for a long second and shakes her head.
It抯 terrible how I love watching her hair cascade down her shoulders when she lets it hang loose, how much I wonder what it would feel like tangled in my fist.
My eyes flick to her mouth, heart-shaped and mellow pink in the shadows.
Goddamn, do I really want her alone?
It抯 late. The night yawns with danger. I may feel like I owe her an explanation, but is it worth the risk of what could happen if she抯 with me梩oo close梬ithout another soul around?
I don抰 answer that. Instead, I lower the privacy screen.
揕ouis, take us to my spot,?I say, knowing he抣l understand exactly what I mean.
揧ou got it, Mr. Burns.?
I raise the screen again and meet her wondering eyes.
揚atience. I抣l tell you everything soon,?I promise.
She nods, but she抯 also條aughing?
揥hat抯 so damn funny??
揥hy are you so freaking secretive? You抮e like a Bond villain or something. Was introducing me to Wyatt so terrible??
It wasn抰， even if it wasn抰 my brightest idea.
I rake her with a cautious look.
揑t抯 not a big secret. Not really. We抮e just diving into a lot of sensitive subjects tonight,?I say, hoping like hell that抣l satisfy her.
Dakota nods emphatically.
揑 get it. Telling you about Jay wasn抰 easy, either,?she whispers.
揓ay? Oh梩he shitbag.?Knowing the prick抯 name somehow makes him more real. More loathsome. I don抰 want a jackass who left her at the altar having a name, a human face.
It抯 too fucking horrible.
Knowing he exists and how much he hurt her makes me feel like I owe him a complimentary facelift, courtesy of my knuckles.
揧eah,?she confirms.
揑f he calls you again, tell him I抣l slap him with a harassment suit,?I snarl. 揑f that doesn抰 work, I抣l fly to your oil town and tie him to a goddamned rig.?
She smiles, her eyes glowing with gratitude for a crime I haven抰 even committed. Yet.
揑 think I can handle him without my boss fighting my battles. But thanks, Lincoln.?
揟ell me one thing梙ow the hell do you leave a girl stranded on her wedding day and then start texting her like it抯 no big deal??My fingers curl into a fist I bring to my jaw, scratching my face with my knuckles. 揑 can抰 wrap my head around that.?
揑 shouldn抰 have said anything.?Dakota sighs and looks away from me. 揑t isn抰 important…？
Nevermore, you抮e wrong. What he did to you was pure bullshit.
She抯 right, though. I don抰 need to rub it in.
I don抰 need to welcome hurt memories to dance on her heart.
Damn.
揗y apologies. I regret if I抳e said something stupid again. I do respect your privacy, even if I don抰 always show it,?I say, leaning forward in my seat.
She抯 quiet for a minute before she finally meets my eyes again.
揑 appreciate it. It抯 okay.?
The car jolts to a stop at the base of the scenic lookout when she stops speaking. Dakota falls forward next to me. I throw an arm out to catch her.