Again, that gaping silence.
Again, I know I抦 right, and I hate it.
揇oesn抰 matter,?she hisses. 揑 tried to give my son a normal childhood that didn抰 involve a mental patient swearing and drinking and punching walls.?
揌e抯 not a maniac,?I bite off.
揥asn抰， you mean. That was true, once.?
揂re you wishing him dead??I ask darkly.
揘o. I抣l admit that he was sane before the war. He came home a different person. I might be a bitch for leaving him, for messing around, but damn. What can I say? I value sanity in a partner??
揧ou should have stood by him. He wouldn抰 have lost his mind if he had more support,?I snarl, sure to the bone that抯 true.
揢mm桰 don抰 know if you know this, but it抯 not my job to fix a broken grown-ass man with one leg.?
揌e loved you, bitch. If you cared about him at all, you should have made sure he got help instead of taking off.?
Again, that killing silence.
揥hat抯 done is done. Also, Doctor Dubuque isn抰 a lunatic and he抯 a good role model for my son, so I can抰 say I regret anything. So go to hell.?
No remorse.
Did the witch ever care about Wyatt at all?
My jaw tightens, remembering why that question stabs me so harshly today.
揂re you bringing Micha to see him or what??I demand, the only question that matters.
揑 don抰 know. That抯 asking a lot. I don抰 really want to tell my new husband we抮e road-tripping to Seattle to visit my ex. Micha has a few good memories of his father梑efore he came back batshit crazy梐nd he has a few bad ones too. He抯 not at a good age to deal with all that.?Olivia pauses and sighs. 揌ow bad off is he??
揌e might have a fifty-fifty chance of survival at best. I抦 not sure he抣l pull through.?I抳e seen him like this before. She hasn抰。
Last time, he only came out the other side for her, for his family. That won抰 be a reason to fight this time. I have to hope Micha is, if he can hear his son somewhere through his coma-fog.
揥ell, I抣l think about it. I just don抰 want my son exposed to that homeless freak and his problems…？
Can she piss me off more?
揥hat problems? He抯 not going to be drinking in a hospital room when he can抰 even open his damn eyes. He抯 comatose. You抮e acting like you抮e taking the kid to see him in prison, but it抯 a hospital.?
揑抣l talk to Doc about it. I抦 not sure.?
I can抰 believe she calls her husband Doc. Like the entire world needs to be reminded she hooked herself an MD every five seconds.
揟hink fast. If 'Doc' doesn抰 give you permission, understand that I will have every carnivorous attorney I know forcing a visitation issue. I抣l call in every corporate favor I抳e ever been owed. I抣l hire a PI to find out what hospital Doctor Dubuque works for, and if I don抰 know who owns it, I抣l buy out the main fucking stake.?I inhale sharply. 揧ou, Olivia, will regret the day you were born if you don抰 get that kid in here to see Wyatt. This could be their last chance. I抦 sorry shit didn抰 work out for you and Wyatt梐ctually, I抦 not. It was mostly your fault. He loved you too much, the poor idiot. Now, it抯 time for you to grow the hell up.?
There抯 a chiming sound.
She hung up on me.
Predictable.
I mash the phone back into my pocket and let my head thunk against the window.
She doesn抰 care if Wyatt lives or dies. She has no guilt for leaving him after he lost his leg and his life.
It抯 hard to believe they were ever happy. When he wasn抰 on duty, they were inseparable.
She cried the day we deployed.
Olivia and I never got along, but the day we left, she begged me to bring him home safe.
Whatever she is now, I loathe her.
About as much as I hate the way I haven抰 had time to deliver Dakota抯 well-deserved apology. I抳e been scrambling to take care of Wyatt.
Maybe it抯 better this way.
If this is where love always leads, fuck everything about it.
If things ever got so bad that Dakota didn抰 care if I lived or died, if I hurt her, I wouldn抰 want to keep existing.
You抳e already hurt her plenty, jackass, a voice in my head hisses.
Regrettably true. I抳e just got to find the nicest way possible to let her down.
This can only end in a storm of tears and anguish. What抯 the point in causing us both more grief?
Louis pulls up to the hospital a minute later and lets me out.
Soon, I抦 parked in the chair beside Wyatt抯 bed, my pulse hammering so thick the noise engulfs my ears.
揗icha抯 coming to see you. You抎 better wake up to see him. Will you do that for me, man??
No response.
I take a deep breath and lean back into the chair.
揑 talked to Olivia today to get the kiddo to come. No fucking clue what you ever saw in her.?I clear my scratchy throat. 揑 know you two loved each other once. When the divorce first hit and you took it so hard, I thought you were overreacting. But now梥hit.?
Total silence.
He抯 asleep, Linc. Just get it out.
揑 finally understand. If I woke up with Dakota in my arms every morning and she just up and told me one day she didn抰 want it anymore梱ou抎 have to make room in that bed. I抎 lose my mind. I couldn抰 run my company. I couldn抰 function.?
I lurch to my feet, moving to the window, looking out at Seattle.
It抯 a clear, vibrant day that already looks like summer. It contrasts sharply with the darkness swirling in my soul.
I don抰 know why I抦 here.
I抦 just talking to myself.
This shouldn抰 be so hard.
揝he抯 pissed at me, Wyatt,?I say, looking over my shoulder. 揘evermore, I mean. It抯 my fault. I deserve it and I haven抰 figured out how to apologize yet. I don抰 even know if I should.?
I pause, hanging my head.
揂fter seeing what you抳e been through, should I risk it??I whisper. 揗y plan was to let her down gently, but what抯 the point if it抣l just bust her up again? The best thing I can do is stay the hell away. She抣l get over it in time. I抦 just one more asshole who tried to break her heart.?
19
Darkness There （Dakota）
揋o ahead, call me an idiot. I should have trusted my instincts. There was no way this fake engagement fling was ever ending in anything besides disappointment.?
Eliza looks at me like she knows that抯 a massive understatement.
Disappointment is when you go to Sweeter Grind and ask for a Regis roll, but come home with a bear claw because they抮e sold out.
Disappointment is when your fianc?decides he needs to follow his dreams the morning of your wedding.
Finding out that this thing with Lincoln was always a game? That抯 not a disappointment.
It抯 an ax blow to the heart.
Eliza hands me a coffee infused with so much vanilla sweet cream it smells like a scented candle.
揌e put on a good show, didn抰 he? The man sucked you in. It抯 not your fault. And are you sure he didn抰 just freak out? You typically don抰 push in some stabby moron抯 face over a girl you don抰 care about. The cold shoulder could mean more even if it definitely means F-you at the moment.?
I shrug and sip my drink.
I desperately want to believe her. Pathetic hope flutters in my chest.
?but if that抯 it, then why haven抰 I heard from him??
Her mouth forms a rigid line.
The hope unfurling in my chest hits a cavernous pothole and dies.
揝ee? No good explanation.?I sigh.
The oven dings and makes me jump.
揜eady or not, here comes brownie therapy.?She walks over and pulls out a tray of colossal fudge brownies. 揋ive them ten or fifteen minutes to cool.?