Carter’s chin hits my shoulder. “Right?”
“You’re all Mama. Aren’t you, baby girl?”
Carter snorts. “Whatever. Watch this.” He strokes his finger down the side of her face. The corner of her mouth lifts, pulling a deep dimple into her cheek.
I gasp. “You’ve got your auntie’s dimples.”
“Our dimples.”
“Yes, you look so cute with your auntie’s dimples, don’t you, sweet Ireland?”
She blinks up at me, slow and unsure, and when her tiny fingers wrap around one of mine, I lose it. I lift her to my chest, cradling her against me as I close my eyes, breathing in her innocence.
“I love you so much, sweet girl. I’ll always be here for you; I promise.”
Carter’s heavy gaze watches me for a moment before he tentatively lays his hand on top of mine on Ireland’s back, the pressure gentle but firm, comforting.
An alarm sounds, and Olivia starts whipping her shirt off.
“Lunch time! You can get Mama undressed faster than I can, little pumpkin,” Carter coos, tapping her nose. “That’s impressive as fuck, baby girl.”
Olivia lets her shirt fall back into place. “You know what? I think we’ll go upstairs to eat. You two can have some alone time.”
I head into the kitchen when Olivia leaves me and Carter alone for the first time in over a week. I’m not hungry, but I open the pantry, pull out the birthday cake Oreos, twist three apart, layer the icing together until I’ve got one monster Oreo, and smash it between my teeth. I stare Carter directly in the eyes as I open the cupboard beneath the sink, step on the garbage pedal, and toss the remaining cookie pieces inside.
I’ve never seen him work so hard to control the twitch in his eye. There’s a vein in his neck that looks like it might burst if I poke it just right.
He clears his throat, stuffs his hands in his pockets, and ambles over.
“So…” He clicks a beat out through his pursed lips, head bobbing. “Thinking of changing my TikTok handle.”
“Oh yeah?” I check my nails. “To what?”
“WorldsHottestDILF.”
“But you’re already so iconic as TheTrophyHusband.”
He sighs. “It’s a tough choice.”
“What does Ollie think?”
He rolls his eyes. “She thinks I should change it to my actual name.”
“Ew. So unoriginal.”
“Right? She wasn’t made for the TikTok world.” He stops at the edge of the counter, tracing aimless patterns on the marble. “I missed you.”
I pin my arms over my chest. “You didn’t have to miss me. I was right here.”
“I was upset with you. Both of you.”
“That’s okay, but ghosting me for a week isn’t. That’s not how we solve problems in this family, Carter. Not you and me. We talk. We communicate.”
He hangs his head. “I know.”
“Do you, though? Because we’ve always had each other, and then suddenly you weren’t there, and it made me feel so alone. You’ve always been my biggest supporter, but instead you shut us both out, me and Garrett, and I felt like I’d lost you.
“But the worst part of all? For a second there, I didn’t know who I was without you by my side. I didn’t know who to be if it wasn’t your little sister. I told myself nobody would want me if we were no longer a package deal. I almost moved to Toronto because I convinced myself I was living in your shadow. But then I realized I’d never lived there. You’re my brother, but I’m not just your sister. The only thing keeping me in your shadow…was me.”
Carter’s gaze holds all the remorse of someone who’s had too much time to think about where he went wrong. “I’m sorry I shut you out. I’m sorry I made you feel alone. I’m sorry if I haven’t given you enough space to shine. You always shine in my eyes.”
“You do let me shine. And so does Garrett. He’s so patient with me, and so kind. He makes me feel like I can be whoever I want to be. He talks and he listens. I feel safe with him, Carter.”
“I feel like I’ve constantly failed you. I couldn’t keep your heart safe when Dad died. I couldn’t keep it safe in high school. I’m always…I’m always fucking worried, Jennie, that someone’s going to hurt you. This time, because I let my ego get in the way, it was me.” He takes my hand in his. “I’m supposed to protect you. I’m supposed to be the one you come to, the one you count on.”
“And you are. That won’t change. But I have to be able to take care of myself. Garrett helped me learn how to do that.”
“But…” He nibbles his lower lip. “I thought I was your best friend.”
“Oh, Carter.” I clasp his hand tightly, stepping closer. “You are, and you always will be. But Garrett is, too, like Olivia is for you. When I found Garrett, really found him…I felt so lucky, like I finally found what you and Olivia had, something I thought was never meant for me. Don’t you think I deserve to be loved the way you love Ollie?”
“You deserve the whole world, Jennie.”
“I feel like I have it with Garrett.”
He stares at me for a long moment. “He says he loves you.”
“He does.”
“Do you love him too?”
“So much.” I grin. “He punched Simon for me.”
His eyes light. “He did?”
“Twice.”
His chest puffs. “I woulda done it three times.”
“It’s not a competition,” I remind him gently.
He looks away, murmuring his next words. “I’m afraid you won’t need me anymore.”
My eyes sting, and I blink rapidly, trying to stop the tears before they can start. It’s no use. Damnit. Stupid fucking tears. I hate this.
Carter’s eyes widen, hands coming up in front of his face as he rocks and swivels in place, like he has no clue what to do. “Oh no. No, I didn’t mean to—no. Olivia! I made her cry!”
“For fuck’s sake,” she yells back down. “Put on your big boy panties and fix it, Carter! I’ve got a tiny human gnawing on my nipple! I don’t have time for your drama!”
I throw my arms around Carter’s neck, and he holds me as I cry. “I’ll always need you. That will never, ever change.”
“Promise?” he asks on a whisper.
“Promise.”
GARRETT
I’m hit with a weird sense of déjà vu as I hesitate outside Jennie’s door with my hockey bag slung over my shoulder, sticks in my hand, like the first time I was here to check on her, pre–exploding box of dildos in my face.
It’s not that I’m afraid to knock; it’s just that I’m…
I’m a little afraid. Jennie’s so strong and confident. She’s certain about so many things in her life, and the only thing I’ve ever been so sure about, well…it’s her.
I’ve been dying to hold her, kiss her, but I don’t know how to take what I want right now. Do we need time? Do we have to ease back into it? I’ve never felt like there was much easing into anything in our relationship. Sure, some of the pieces came with time. But for the most part, Jennie opened her heart right away and asked for what she wanted, and I gave it to her without hesitation: friendship. I got to have all of her, even the parts I didn’t know I wanted. Now that I’ve had them, I don’t know how to slow down. All I want to do is barrel forward, but I don’t want to push her.