“How do you know you were made by Dis?” I asked.
I hated to ask any question of Solaris, hated to draw his attention, but I wanted to know.
“The same way Lord Adrian knows he was made by Dis.”
“I begged to taste the blood of my enemies after they murdered my lover,” Adrian said. “Did you?”
“I held the bodies of my wife and child in my arms after Ravena’s mist took their lives. I begged Asha to give them life once more. She never answered. Dis did.” Solaris paused, his voice trembling. “You took your revenge,” he said. “Would you deny mine?”
“I have no desire to form an alliance with a witch-hunter,” Adrian said, and as the tension released from my body, I grew light-headed.
“Then make me a noblesse,” Solaris said.
Adrian went very still. “Why would I make you a noblesse? You claim no allegiance to any kingdom, least of all mine.”
“I will make a vow to you,” he said. “And I will help you find Ravena. You cannot deny that I am useful.”
Adrian took a step toward Solaris. “If I cut your hand off,” he said, the words slipping between his teeth, “what would you have to offer?”
Solaris did not speak, but in the next second, the great hall was awakened once more, a low murmur returning to life. Solaris’s voice rose above it.
“You would deny my aid when I could save your people from this wicked witch?”
Adrian went still, and those gathered in the hall jeered with outrage.
“Our blood will be on your hands!”
“The Blood King will see us all killed!”
“Kneel,” Adrian hissed, and the entire court hit their knees. He stepped from the dais, his boots echoing in the hall as he approached Solaris. “Prove yourself, then,” Adrian said. “Find the witch. You have five days.”
Adrian’s words were like a blow to my stomach, and for one horrifying moment, I could not breathe. It was as if my lungs were full of smoke and my throat clogged with ash. I felt the fire against my skin; I could smell my burning flesh and hair.
I could not fathom that he would allow such a man to remain within our kingdom, so near to me—me, his lover, his wife, the one who had died at the hand of Dragos, the first witch-hunter.
I fled, leaving him on the dais alone.
I could hardly open the door, I was so frantic to escape. The air in this room was suffocating, too thick with the hate I could already feel brewing beneath the surface.
It will end us again, I thought.
A hand shot out, and I flinched, only to realize it was Miha. She turned the knob for me, and once the door was open, I bolted.
“My queen!” she called after me, but I did not stop, having no issue getting through the second door.
I was only halfway down the hall when Adrian called my name.
“Isolde!” His boots thudded against the floor in pursuit. “Isolde!”
He caught up with me and yanked my arm, forcing me to face him.
I slapped him, hard.
“How dare you,” I seethed.
“What would you have me do?” he hissed furiously. He held my shoulders, bending over me. “Did you not see what was happening in that room?”
“You wax poetic about how excruciating it was to watch me burn alive. You begged to be a monster so that you could avenge me. You say you will not live another lifetime without me by your side, and yet you welcomed a witch-hunter into these halls.”
I did not even recognize my voice as I spoke, and there was a part of me that knew he had no choice, but I could not handle his reasoning in this moment.
“Will you watch me burn again?”
“You aren’t even a witch!” he yelled, his body shaking. “You have no power beyond driving me to the fucking edge of insanity.”
I tried to hit him again, but he held me too tight, so I did the only thing I could to escape him—stab him in the heart. I shoved my hands against his chest and released my blade. The second it pierced his skin, he let me go, and I watched his blood darken the fabric of his tunic.
“Fuck you,” I said.
This time when I left, he did not follow.
***
I raced upstairs and slammed my door shut. I could not contain my anger, so I let it rage. Books and candles flew, and I tore tapestries off the wall and my blankets from my bed. I threw jewelry and ripped my dresses from the shelves of my armoire. I was so careless in my frenzy, I froze in horror as my carved music box fell to the floor.
“No, no, no,” I said, kneeling to pick it up. As I did, pieces of mother of pearl and wood chips were left on the ground, and the music it once played—a lullaby my mother had sung—sounded off-key and ruined.
“No,” I cried harder, hugging the box to my chest.
This had been a gift from my father, and while that relationship had withered away, this—this gave me some connection to my mother, and I had destroyed it.
I wallowed in my sadness upon the floor, clutching my music box, and did not move until I heard a faint and muffled laugh.
It was light and pretty, and it only fed my fury.
Ravena.
I crossed the room and turned my mirror around, only to see my own reflection staring back, and it took the fight out of me. I rested the mirror against the wall and slid to my floor. There, I drew my legs to my chest, hugging them tightly, and sobbed.
I did not even look up when my door opened, or when Ana knelt beside me and drew me into her arms.
“Shh,” she soothed, smoothing her hand over my hair.
“I hate him,” I said. “I hate him, and I love him.”
“Let’s not speak of it now,” she said.
So I didn’t.
Instead, I cried until I couldn’t shed tears any longer, and by the time I sat up, my face was swollen and a little painful.
Ana reached forward, brushing away the strands of my hair that stuck to my tear-stained face.
“I am so tired,” I said. “And I know that is not fair because you have lived this life longer than me…but I can’t—” My voice faltered.
“You do not have to have lived a hundred years or even twenty. If your soul is tired, you will be tired.”
A few stray tears fell down my cheeks.
“He has invited a witch-hunter into our home,” I said.
I almost could not stand how Ana looked at me, as if she pitied my heartbreak.
“I know how you feel,” she said. “I am afraid, too, but I also know why Adrian allowed Solaris to stay.”
I rubbed my eyes harder, to the point that they hurt. I did not want to hear reason. I knew the reason, and I despised that it had to be this way.
“If he does not quell the hysteria…we are in even more danger,” she said.
“I am in no danger,” I said, swallowing hard. “As your cousin so graciously reminded me earlier, I have no magic.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“I know what it is to have magic, Ana,” I said.
She shook her head. “You are equating harnessing magic with having it. They are not the same.”
We stared at each other and after a moment, I asked, “What are we going to do?”
“For now, you had better summon Violeta,” she said. “Adrian has called for a feast.”
“What?”