But it hadn’t. It had just been suppressed.
It was afraid, just as I was afraid now.
That was the design of oppression.
I turned my head toward the vârcolac, and a growl vibrated in my throat. It was the first time I’d witnessed the monster pause to assess me. I pushed off the wall and growled louder, the sound animalistic, primal. Then I took off down the hallway, my legs carrying me faster than they ever had before.
I felt my insides changing, and the pain was acute. It made me gnash my teeth, which had elongated. Blood spilled on the ground as my claws exploded from my fingertips, and as I changed, I launched myself at the two vârcolaci facing Sorin. He was bleeding badly, only holding his sword with one hand, the other arm limp at his side.
I went for the neck as I collided with one of the vârcolaci and bit down hard, yanking as we landed. The other creature slammed into me, and I flew across the floor, hitting the banister of the stairs, but I bounced back to my feet, a growl rumbling in my throat. I sprang, but so did the vârcolac, and we tangled in the air, biting and lashing at one another. We landed in a heap, continuing the close combat. The creature bit my shoulder, and its claws sank into my belly. I screamed in its face and then bit its snout and did not let go, my claws digging into its sides, and I only released the creature when I felt its hold on me lessen. Once it did, I tore out its neck just as I had the other.
Sorin’s cry drew my attention, and when I turned to face the final vârcolac, the tracker had been thrown down the hall. His back hit the wall, and he slid to the ground, unmoving.
I snarled and shot toward the monster. Our bodies hit hard, and it knocked the breath from my body, snapping my ribs. When I landed on my feet, opposite the vârcolac, pain shot through me, and yet I charged again. Our teeth sank into each other’s shoulders, and as we landed, we rolled. I could not manage to get the upper hand, and I lay beneath the creature, its claws sinking deep inside me. And while I tried to lock my jaw into the monster, pain shot through me, roaring from my throat, and I released it.
But then there was a wet sound, and blood poured onto my body. The vârcolac lessened its hold and then fell, landing beside me on the ground. I turned my head to find Sorin, standing with his bloodied blade.
I wanted to call his name, but I could not speak in this form, and I had no idea how to shift back.
He looked down at me, and there was something horrifying about his face, a darkness in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Isolde,” he said and lifted his blade.
Shock left me immobile as his sword sank into my chest. I screamed, and as I did, I felt myself changing back. Tears poured from my eyes, and Sorin fell to his knees beside me, gathering me to his chest.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. He was crying too.
I did not want him to touch me. I could not understand why he was holding me.
“Why?” I asked, my mouth quivering.
“Because he has to die,” Sorin said. “Adrian will destroy us, Isolde. None of us can fight him. You have to understand. You once understood.”
I shook my head.
“The Book of Dis,” he continued. “You wrote those spells for him.”
“How do you know that?” I whispered.
Ravena had just told me.
“I know a lot more than you think.”
“You are a traitor,” I said. “You are the traitor. You told Ravena about the bloodletting.”
Sorin’s brows lowered. “I am many things,” he said. “A traitor among them, but I did not tell Ravena anything.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said.
“I am not choosing one side over the other.”
“Then you are weak,” I said, and he winced, closing his eyes for a second. When he opened them again and gazed upon me, his treason only hurt worse because I did not see the hate I wanted to see. I saw regret and sorrow and deep, deep sadness.
“Adrian is becoming more and more a monster every day,” he said. “Tell me you have not seen the signs. The flash of white in his eyes, the pain in his head. It is Dis taking over. It is Dis speaking to him.”
“How do you know it is Dis?” I whispered, my mouth quivering. I did not know if it was from my anguish or shock.
“Isolde,” Sorin said, shaking his head.
“Don’t,” I said between bloody teeth. “Do not say my name.”
Sorin nodded and then spoke. “He’ll hurt you one day, and then you will understand.”
“He would never,” I said with such conviction in my voice. I began to cry.
“I really do love you,” Sorin said. “I wish you could remember…this is for the greater good.”
Those words.
My father had used them.
“You wanted me to kill myself?” I asked, affronted. “For whom? For a kingdom of people who turned their backs on me for my sacrifice?”
“It is for the greater good!” he said.
“Get out,” I said.
“Iso—”
“I said get out!” I yelled, blood flying from my mouth. “Get out!”
Tears streamed down Sorin’s face, but he rose to his feet, took up his sword, and fled.
At some point, I must have passed out because I was roused by Adrian’s rage-filled scream. I opened my eyes and stared up at him as he took me into his arms.
“Adrian.” I whispered his name, lifting my blood-stained hand to his face.
“What happened? Where is Sorin?” he asked.
“Sorin did this,” I said. “Sorin is a traitor.”
“No.” I heard another voice I recognized as Daroc’s, but I could not turn my head to look at him.
My eyes were heavy, and my hand fell from Adrian’s face, leaving a streak of blood. Adrian reached for it, pressing my palm to his cheek again.
“I will heal you.”
“Adrian,” I whispered, smiling at him. “Not even you can heal this.”
Adrian’s venom was powerful, but it had limits as we’d had learned with the aufhocker bite.
“Unless… You must change me,” I said.
I recognized there were consequences, but none came close to dying.
Adrian’s eyes passed over my face, as if he were assessing just how much I wanted this. “You are certain?”
“It is either that or die,” I said. “I no longer wish to be a sparrow.”
There was no hesitation after that.
He positioned me so that my head rested on his shoulder, and he bit into my neck. At first, it felt normal, and then he sank his teeth in deeper, and it felt as though he had injected fire into my veins. But I did not scream; I only held onto him as tightly as I could.
“Drink, Isolde,” Adrian said.
I was only half-aware when he placed something against my lips and a metallic taste filled my mouth. It was blood, different from my own. Stronger, somehow.
I did not know if I managed to drink, but there came a point when I felt as though I were floating, rising into a darkness pierced with stars.
Twenty-Three
Isolde
My throat was burning, and I groaned as I opened my eyes.
“Up,” Adrian said gently, his hands on my shoulders, but any movement made my head spin. I buried my face in the soft blankets beneath me, squeezing my eyes shut.