Traitorous, evil, weak.
I knew the words they would use, and each one burrowed deep, painful reminders of how they had shunned me the moment they realized I had not killed Adrian on our wedding night. Never mind that I had tried. Now that they had truly been overrun by a vampire army, I wondered if they would see Adrian and I as the lesser of two evils. Would they see our coming as a rescue or another siege?
I felt someone approach and looked to find Killian, who was dressed in Revekka’s colors.
“Killian,” I said in surprise.
He offered a small smile and straightened his jacket.
“Perhaps not the best timing,” he said. “But you are my queen and I am your commander.”
A thickness gathered in my throat. Sometimes I was so hindered by how I’d left Lara—without the blessing or praise of my people for a sacrifice I’d made to protect them—I forgot I still had support.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He smiled, but it was sad. He looked below at the massive army. “No need to thank me, my queen. I will always fight for you.”
I knew Killian had never lost his loyalty to me as his queen, but this was different. Of anyone in my circle, he was my friend, and he had shown that time and time again.
I took his hand and held it. My action surprised him, and he met my gaze.
“I am grateful you are with me,” I said. My eyes blurred and I took a breath to keep from crying. “I do not want to exist in this life without you, Killian. You and Nadia…you are my only family.” I paused and then met his gaze. “I’d like you to consider becoming one of my noblesse.”
He studied me, eyes searching, trying to figure out exactly what I meant.
“Are you asking me to become a vampire?”
“I am,” I said. “I’ll change you myself.”
Killian pulled his hand from mine, and my heart fell.
“He changed you?”
I could sense his confusion and even his hurt. He felt betrayed.
“You don’t…look different.”
“I am tired of being weak, Killian.”
“You are not weak,” he said, angry. “Just because you are not invincible does not mean you are weak.”
I smiled at him. “In this world, I am, and I am tired of being the one targeted for that weakness. At least now, it will be harder for them to kill me. I’d like it to be the same for you.”
He was quiet, though as fiercely as he had reacted, I did not feel the distance I had expected. I knew he struggled over whether my change affected his loyalty to me.
“Think on it,” I said. “You will be my first.”
***
We marched out.
Adrian and I rode side by side, flanked by Daroc, Solaris, Killian, and Gavriel.
Miha and Isac lingered near as my assigned guards, minus Sorin, and I could feel their collective sense of betrayal and confusion.
Behind us, the villagers of Cel Ceredi had gathered, and I wondered if they thought we were abandoning them as they watched us depart in the night.
If they had loyalty to Solaris, I thought, at least he is at our side.
As we continued, I found myself craning my neck, searching the sky for any sign of Sorin. Daroc was doing it too, but trying to be far more subtle.
“He is not here,” said Adrian, and when I looked at him, he was staring straight ahead.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“Sorin isn’t stupid. He knows if he is found, he will die.”
“Perhaps that is what he wants,” I said.
“If that were true, he would not have fled.”
Adrian’s comment left me feeling betrayed once more, and I realized that I had to consider all of Sorin’s actions as deceptive, even his heartache over Daroc. It was like being stabbed all over again as I tried to decide what had been real and genuine and what had been a ruse.
Several scouts rode ahead of us, fanning out through the woods. They were sent ahead to search for signs of monsters, signs of Ravena, and decide where we would camp in the daylight. At some point, our position in line changed, and Adrian and Daroc led while I followed behind with Killian and Gavriel on either side. Miha and Isac were at my back.
I had yet to meet with Gavriel or learn the full extent of his observations while in Lara, and he took his time to speak.
“I have information for you, my queen,” Gavriel said. “About the Sanctuary of Asha.”
“Please, tell me,” I said.
“The priestess who claimed that Asha had sent her a vision of their salvation is named Imelda. She says the incarnated woman has great power, matched only by that of the Blood King.”
I knew Imelda. She was the head priestess of the Sanctuary of Asha. She had married Adrian and I, but outside that, my only interactions with her had been her attempts to berate me for not setting a better example as princess of Lara and sole heir.
“Your father worships the goddess, as do his people,” she had told me one day. “Will you continue to set such a blasphemous example when you are queen?”
“You speak to the goddess, priestess?” I asked.
“Of course,” she said, haughty.
“Then ask her why my mother had to die.”
Imelda’s expression was cold. “You willfully ignore Asha’s plan for you,” she said. “Perhaps your mother had to die so that you could be raised by your father, which will ensure you are a successful queen.”
“What are you saying, Imelda?” I had stabbed a lot of men in my life, but never a woman—but I had wanted to stab her then.
“I am merely suggesting that your mother might have nurtured you far more than your father. It is no secret she was a gentle creature, hardly a woman who could stand among kings.”
“It is good to know your opinion on my mother,” I said, and the priestess bowed her head, as if she were pleased. “Perhaps if I had been raised by my mother, I would be more inclined to forgive you for it, but I was raised by my father, and like him, I am only interested in punishing those who slight me.”
Needless to say, Imelda would do anything to see me fail to take the throne of Lara.
“She still claims the salvation of Asha has incarnated?” I asked Gavriel.
“Yes. There are rumors out of Vela that this woman walks the land there performing miracles.”
“What kind of miracles?”
“Various things,” he answered. “Some are simple like healing illnesses and giving life to dying land. Others are far more concerning. There is a claim that she was able to banish the crimson mist with only a few words, that she took life from a vampire with the wave of her hand.”
My brows lowered. A few of those powers sounded much like Solaris’s, but they were also things Ravena might do. Was her plan to act as a savior to the people of Cordova all along?
I worried and drew my lower lip between my teeth.
“And the people of Lara believe these things?”
“They have to,” said Gavriel. “They are under threat now. Imelda has given them their only hope of survival.”
It angered me that my people would turn to Asha when I should have been their hope. Even now, I was on my way with an army to set them free from the unjust rule of a power-hungry king. I should have had their praise. I was the one who had sacrificed my future so that they could continue to exist under the rule of my father.