Am I willing to compound the pain of her leaving for the pleasure of having more of her now?
I know the answer even before I finish thinking the question. Of course I am. If the pain is inevitable, then at least I’ll have these moments to look back on, no matter how bittersweet. I swallow hard. “I don’t want to pressure you.”
“You couldn’t if you tried.” She moves her hand to my stomach and dips her fingertips beneath the band of my lounge pants. “Can I touch you, Apollo?”
I can’t help feeling like I’m damning us both. I should be the one to put on the brakes here, but I want her too desperately to be logical. When I speak, my voice goes low and commanding. “Do it.”
15
Cassandra
I start to slide my hand into Apollo’s pants, but he says, “Wait.” I freeze, suddenly sure that this strange moment has passed and he’s going to call a stop to the whole thing. Instead, he leans down, careful to maintain the distance and not crush my arm, and speaks directly into my ear. “Give me a safe word.”
I want to argue out of habit, but there’s nothing wrong with having a word just between us that means everything stops. I’ve used one before and I’ll no doubt use one again. More, I like that he’s setting that boundary very clearly to keep us both safe. I lick my lips. “Python.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Very well.” His lips brush my ear, my jaw, the corner of my mouth. “Touch me, Cassandra.”
This time, he doesn’t stop me as I slide my hands into his lounge pants and wrap them around his cock. I felt him earlier, of course, but there’s something about his length filling my hand that makes my breath catch in my chest. I stroke him lightly, teasingly. “All this for me?”
“Just for you.” His arms shake a little where they’re pressed against my sides. “I’m going to kiss you now. Give me your mouth.” It’s not a request, but he gives me a bare moment to protest. I don’t. Of course I don’t. I’ve been thinking about our last kiss since it happened, replaying it in my mind more times than I’ll ever admit aloud.
Apollo kisses me as if divining every facet of my taste. Short, drugging kisses that distract me so much, I forget to keep stroking him. Instead, I chase him every time he retreats, little whimpering protests slipping past my lips, only for him to take my mouth again, longer this time.
He reaches between us to clasp my wrist in a firm grip and lift my hand to press to the couch beside my head. Apollo doesn’t break our kiss as he does the same with my other hand. I might complain about not being able to touch him, but he chooses that moment to lower himself onto me, pressing me into the couch. My brain shorts out. It’s been so long since I allowed anyone close enough to be like this. I’m starved for more…for him.
He breaks the kiss slowly but doesn’t move away. “Tell me how to make you feel good, Cassandra.” Again, there’s no question in his voice, no invitation to argue. He’s commanding in that quiet, stern way of his.
“This feels good.”
“Mmm.” He thrusts against me slowly and lets out a tortured groan. “Too good.” He hooks the back of my neck and pulls me up as he shifts back. I barely have a chance to process the fact that we’re changing positions when he sits me up on the couch and kneels between my thighs. I reach for him, but he shakes his head and grabs my wrists in that same firm grip. He presses them to the couch on either side of my hips. “If you touch me, this will end too quickly.”
Surely he doesn’t mean he wants me so much, he’s about to come sooner than he’d like to? I thought he was joking when he said it before. I almost laugh, but my entire body shakes like a leaf over the fact that we’re here and we’re doing this. If he wants me even half as badly as I want him, then maybe it’s best I keep my hands to myself.
For now.
Apollo lifts his hands slowly, making a satisfied noise when I keep mine where he placed them. “Good girl.” I can barely process that when he clasps my knees and gently presses them wider. The bottoms of my pajamas gape. He stares at the juncture of my thighs with an intensity that makes me squirm.
He coasts his hands slowly up my thighs, guiding them wider yet, until his thumbs brush the lace hem of the pajamas. “I’m going to touch you now.”
I exhale shakily. “You don’t have to narrate every move before you do it.”
He gives me a sharp look I can feel despite the shadows. “You squirm so beautifully every time I do. I like it.” He edges his thumbs into the gap between the silky fabric and my overheated skin. “No panties?”
“No,” I gasp. “They…don’t work with the pajamas.”
“Best money ever spent,” he murmurs. He brushes my pussy and applies the barest pressure, spreading my folds. “You’re wet. Just for me?”
It takes several beats for me to realize it’s not a rhetorical question. I try to hold still, but I can’t help squirming just like he predicted. “Apollo—”
“Tell me, Cassandra.” He strokes up and down either side of my pussy as if he has all the time in the world. As if I’m not going to come apart the moment he touches my clit. “Tell me what gets you off. Tell me what you like and what you don’t. Tell me everything.”
I will cut out my own tongue before I admit that I’m afraid everything works for me because it’s him. I might have propositioned him for a fling, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to bare my heart. I swallow hard. “I like knowing I affect you like this. It makes me squirm.”
“Mmm.” He rewards me by dipping his thumbs a little deeper into my folds. “Is that all?”
Damn him. I’m panting as if I’ve run a great distance. I can’t think past where he touches me, his soft but commanding questions. I shake my head. “No, that’s not all.” This time, I don’t make him prod me further. “I liked it when you hauled me in here and pinned me to the couch, even if you were doing it to keep us hidden instead of as foreplay. I–I like this.”
“I like this, too.” He leans down and presses his face to the fabric right over my pussy. He inhales deeply and I nearly come on the spot. Apollo kisses one thigh and then the other. “When we go back to the bedroom, you’re going to let me look at you.”
“Apollo…”
“You’re so beautiful, Cassandra.” He kisses a little higher on my thighs. “You wouldn’t deny me after I’ve spent years picturing you naked, would you?”
I whimper as he presses a kiss to my pussy through the silk of my shorts. “Oh gods. That feels good.” Between his mouth and my desire, the fabric has gone slippery and wet. He rubs the flat of his tongue against my clit. I want to touch him, to dig my fingers into his hair, to hold him in place until the orgasm rushing to the fore overwhelms me completely.
Instead, I press my hands harder to the couch, obeying the unspoken demand he gave when he placed them there. I can’t stop myself from speaking, though. “More.”
He doesn’t respond with words, but he doesn’t need to. He just keeps up that devastating stroke. I slump back against the couch, writhing even as I try to hold still. “I…” I moan. “I can’t be quiet. It feels too good. We’re going to get caught.”