“I know you’re not, pet,” Mam was quick to soothe.
Nodding stiffly, Joey flicked his gaze to me. “I better go.”
My heart sank.
“You could stay?” I looked to my mother hopefully. “He could stay the night, couldn’t he, Mam?”
Mam worried her lip. “Well, yes…”
“No, I need to go home,” Joey cut in, slipping his arms through the straps of his school bag. “What time is the scan tomorrow?”
“Half past one.”
“We finish school at twelve, so we can go straight to the appointment from there.” Retracing the steps back to my bed, he leaned down and brushed a kiss to my cheek. “I’ll see ya in the morning.”
“You can stay,” I pleaded, reaching up to grab his hand.
Giving my hand a small squeeze, he winked down at me before letting go. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” he called over his shoulder, as he moved for my door.
“I don’t know the ins and outs of what happens in your home,” my mother blurted out, causing my boyfriend to freeze in my bedroom doorway. “But I’ve heard enough stories and seen enough bruises on your body to know that it has to stop.”
“Mam!”
“You should know that I’ve phoned the Gards and reported your father.”
“Mam,” I strangled out, dropping my head in my hands. “What the hell?”
“And you should probably know that this isn’t the first time that I’ve reported him, either, but I’ve never had enough proof.”
“Oh my god, Mam.”
“But tonight, he threatened to harm you in front of me,” she continued to say, eyes locked on my boyfriend. “And while it might not be my business, I refuse to sit back and do nothing.”
“Jesus, Mam,” I croaked out, feeling my heart hammer violently, as I waited for him to erupt.
“I presume they’ll pay a visit to your house before the night’s out,” Mam added, looking red-faced. “I’m sorry, love, I really am, but I couldn’t have it on my conscience.”
“It’s grand, Trish,” was all Joey replied, not turning back to look at either one of us. “I understand.”
“You can stay,” she repeated, tone thick with emotion. “There’s always room for you in this house.”
“Thanks.” With a heavy sigh, he shook his head in resignation and said, “But I have to go home,” before walking away.
Light footsteps sounded on the staircase then, followed a few moments later by the sound of the front door opening and closing shut.
I shook my head and glared at my mother. “What have you done, Mam?”
“What’s right, Aoife,” my mother replied. “I’ve done what’s right.”
JUST THIS ONCE
JOEY
By the time I reached the end of my road, the squad car was pulling away from my house. Knowing that the Gards in this town didn’t need much of a reason to throw me in the cells these days, I slipped into a side alley until they drove past.
When they were gone, I flicked the butt of my cigarette behind me, and jogged up the footpath to my house, needing another arrest under my belt like I needed a hole in the head.
Because that’s what would happen.
It didn’t matter what Trish Molloy told the Gards.
My father wouldn’t be punished for a damn thing.
He never was.
The blame would fall at my feet.
Same as always.
When I walked through the front door a few minutes later, I was greeted by my father’s fist as it connected with my jaw.
“Jesus.” Unprepared and taken aback by the unsuspected assault, I stumbled backwards and landed on my ass in the hallway, feeling a lightning bolt of pain ripple through my face. “Christ.”
“You dumb cunt,” he sneered, towering above me. “Running your mouth to those people. Telling them our private business. Running to your girlfriend’s mammy with sob stories. What did ya think was going to happen?”
I wanted to get up and fight back, I really fucking did, but the pain shooting out of my cheekbone was so severe, it made my stomach heave.
Twisting onto my hands and knees, I hurled my guts up on the floor, unable to mask my agony, as fire burned through my face. “Fuck…you.”
His boot connected with my stomach next, taking the wind clean out of my lungs. “If you don’t want to be under my roof, boy, you know where the door is. Nobody’s stopping ya from leaving if ya don’t want to be here.”
“Teddy, no.” That was Mam. I could hear her pleading with him to stop kicking me. He didn’t stop. Not until he had a good half a dozen more kicks in. “Please, stop. He’s only a boy.”
“Pack his fucking bags, Marie,” my father commanded, while I lay in a heap on the floor, trying to breathe through the pain. “I want this little prick out!”
I knew that I needed to get back up, but I just didn’t have anything left in the tank.
Still, that fire of prideful self-sabotage continued to burn bright inside of me, demanding that I get back up on my feet and not lie down to this man until my heart gave out.
“You think you’re ready to be a father?” he roared, and I could hear him unbuckling his belt. It was a sound that I was all too familiar with. “Right you are, ya little bollox. Lesson number one on being a father? Knowing when to put your little bastards back in line.“
A pained grunt escaped me when the whip of leather came down on my back.
“Teddy, no!”
The belt came down on my back again.
Harder this time.
“Please, Teddy, don’t!”
Shuddering violently, I bit down so hard on my lip that I could taste blood, but I refused to cry out or beg this man for anything.
“Joey!” That was Tadhg.
I could hear him crying somewhere nearby.
Another crack of the belt sliced through my skin and a mouthful of vomit spluttered out through my teeth.
“Get up those stairs to bed or you’ll be next!”
The metal buckle sank into to my flesh and I choked back a cry. Shaking violently, I twisted onto my side, and covered my head with my hands.
“Daddy, no, don’t hurt him!” Ollie’s voice infiltrated my ears.
“I’m…f-f-fine,” I tried to tell them, nostrils flaring, as I forced myself to breathe through the pain. “Go t-to b-bed.”
I couldn’t tell you how many times he swung that belt down on my body, but I must have passed out from the pain, because when I finally came to, everything was quiet, and my father was gone.
Numb to the bone, I remained exactly where I was, too fucking broken to lift a finger, while I took stock of the night’s events.
Finally, when I couldn’t take the cold creeping into my bones a second longer, I forced myself to sit up, hissing out a sharp breath when my back burned in protest.
“Joey.” Falling off the bottom step of the stairs where she had been sitting, Mam crawled towards me. “Oh, Joey.”
Too weary to fend her off, I let her cup my face in her small hands and pepper kisses to my cheek, while using her sleeve to clean my face. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. He’s gone out. He left.”