Shivering, she nodded and tightened her arms around my neck. “And your head? Where’s your head at, Joe?”
“Same place as it’s always been,” I replied. “With you.”
“I believe in you.”
The words hurt to hear and I flinched. “Molloy.”
“I. Believe. In. You,” she repeated slowly. “I’m not expecting perfection from you, Joe. Hell, I don’t want it, because I’m definitely not perfect. So, all I need you to do is be honest, be faithful, and keep trying.”
“And if I’m not worth it?” I dared to ask. “If I’m not worth believing in? If this all goes to shit and I end up letting you down again? What happens then?”
“You see, you’re not taking into account my feelings for you,” she said, stroking my cheeks with her thumbs. “And I know being loved is a foreign concept to you, but it doesn’t come with strings or conditions. It’s unconditional, Joe.”
I looked at her, feeling at a total loss. “I don’t get it.”
“I know you don’t.” Nodding, she leaned up on her tip-toes and pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. “That’s okay.”
“Everyone has their limit, Molloy,” I said. “One of these days, you’re going to reach yours with me.”
“Do you love me, Joe?”
I pulled back to frown at her. “You know I do.”
“Do you plan on lying to me?”
I shrugged. “No more than the usual amount.”
She cocked a brow before asking, “Do you plan on fucking around behind my back with other girls?”
I rolled my eyes. “Be serious.”
“Do you?”
“No, Molloy,” I grumbled. “I value my dick.”
“Nuh-uh.” She slapped my chest. “Wrong answer.”
“How about I don’t plan on fucking around on you because it takes up all of my time and energy just trying to navigate your many sparkling personalities.”
“Try again, asshole.”
“Fine. I don’t plan on fucking around on you because I don’t want anyone else. Because I don’t see anyone else.”
“And?”
I stared at her. “And?”
“And,” she pushed, giving me an expectant look.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, I relented and said, “And because there’s no other girl on the planet as sexy – or as vain – as you.”
“Perfect.” Nodding her approval, she asked, “And finally, do you plan on dropping off the face of the earth when the time comes? Do you plan on checking out on me?”
I gave her a look that told her everything she needed to know.
“Then you just answered your own question,” she replied. “You’re worth believing in, Joe. You are so incredibly worth it all.”
SOUND THE ALARM
AOIFE
When the sky grew dark, and the cold started to seep into our bones, Joey and I trudged back to my estate.
With a whole heap of uncertainty still hanging over my head, and my father’s interrogation looming, I was glad to have him by my side. The familiar way he had his arm slung over my shoulder somehow meant more tonight than any of the thousand other times he held me like this in the past. Because we were in trouble, and he was still here, still backing me up like a loyal teammate.
We both knew that whatever my father planned to say about our situation, the blame would inevitably fall at my boyfriend’s feet, and still, his step never faltered. I was incredibly grateful to him for being the kind of person who followed through on what he said.
Joey said that he would be here, and he was.
I knew that he was afraid of the unknown.
Of his ability to get clean and stay clean.
He’d opened up more this afternoon than he had in a long time, and even though the demons that plagued him scared me half to death, I was grateful that he was willing to let me in. I was grateful that he had found a way to trust me, even when he didn’t trust himself.
“What the actual fuck,” Joey bit out, when we rounded the corner of my street, and locked eyes on a familiar, ancient Honda Accord parked outside my house.
My heart slammed in my chest at the sight and my eyes widened in horror. “Is that—”
“My old man’s car?” Furious, he nodded. “I’m going to kill him.”
“No, you’re not,” I choked out, twisting around so that I was facing him. “Hey, hey, Joe.” Reaching up, I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. “Shh, just calm down a sec, okay?”
“He’s in your house, Molloy!” Beyond livid, Joey, stalked towards my garden gate, hooking an arm around me and taking me with him when I didn’t step out of his way. “What the fuck is he playing at?”
“It doesn’t matter, Joe – do you hear me?” Digging my heels into the footpath, I pressed my hands to his chest. “It’s okay. I’m not afraid of that bastard.”
“Well, I don’t want him anywhere near you!”
I didn’t want him anywhere near either of us, but I had a feeling his father being here had more to do with my father than anything else. “Just breathe, okay? Take a breath.”
His eyes bulged in outrage. “Are you fucking crazy?”
“Don’t take that tone with me, you big bastard!” I snapped, slapping at his chest to regather his attention. “So, stop walking and just breathe.”
Releasing a frustrated growl, Joey reluctantly came to a stop and made a pitiful attempt at reining in his temper. “See?” he barked, inhaling an exaggerated breath. “I am breathing.”
Yeah, he was breathing flames.
“If your parents are here, it’s because they were invited by mine,” I tried to wrangle him in by saying. “I need you to be calm, okay? I mean it, Joe. Don’t react to him. Please.”
“Why?” he demanded hoarsely, throwing his hands up. “Why in the name of god would your parents invite my parents over?”
“To talk, most likely.”
“About what?”
I rolled my eyes. “Uh, gee, I don’t know, Joe; maybe about the fact that their children are having a baby?”
Joey stared at me like he didn’t understand a word of my logic, and it made my heart ache for him.
He truly didn’t understand how parents should behave.
He had never experienced a remotely loving act from either one of his.
“Listen to me,” I coaxed, hands drifting to his neck. “This isn’t an ambush, okay? You’re not under attack here. My parents don’t know any of it, okay? All they know about your dad is that he’s a shitty person, and they’re about to share a grandchild. That’s all this is, Joe, a sit down.”
“He is a shitty person,” my boyfriend agreed, voice laced with pain. “A very shitty person.”
“Which is why you need to keep the head in there, okay?”
“I can’t.”
“Please, Joe,” I begged. “Just stay calm, okay?” When my words failed to reach him, I grabbed his hand and pressed it to my stomach. “Feel this?” I demanded; eyes locked on his. “This is ours.”