揥ho is Aoife??Jessie mouths to me as we go inside.
I slide my hand around her waist and press my lips close to her ear. 揗y cousin.?
We follow Em into her sitting room and are immediately greeted by a tall, dark haired woman in her mid twenties, with a huge pregnant bump, whose smile is even wider than my aunt抯。
揝hane!?she says excitedly. 揧ou haven抰 changed at all. From your pictures, I mean.?
揥ell, you certainly have. I think you were about one the last time I saw you??
揧es,?Em replies. 揑t was about a year after your mum抯 funeral.?She wipes a tear from her eyes. 揑t was the last time I saw any of you.?
揑 know,?I say as I wrap an arm around her shoulder and kiss the top of her head.
揅ome on, tough guy,?she sniffs and straightens up. 揧ou can help me make the tea.?
I follow Em into the kitchen and she fills the kettle and places it on her stove. I recognize it immediately. It抯 an old fashioned kind that whistles when the water is boiled and it belonged to my grandmother too. She turns to face me, her hands resting on the countertop either side of her.
揧our Uncle Paul came to see me,?she says, searching my face for a reaction.
揙h? I didn抰 realize he was back yet??
揑t was late last night,?she replies with a slight bob of her head.
I don抰 speak. I stand in her kitchen, listening to the sound of the water boiling while neither of us mentions the thing that is most obviously on both of our minds.
揑 told him that I know,?she finally says before letting out a long, slow breath that it seemed like she抎 been bottling up for a while. 揑 told him that you know too.?
揊uck, Em!?I shake my head in exasperation.
揥hat else could I do, Shane? He was standing right here, asking me questions about you and the boys.?
揥hat did he say? Did he confirm it??
She nods her head.
揊uck!?
揧ou haven抰 told them yet then??
揘o. There just hasn抰 seemed like the right time to do it. Every time I tried to, I just froze, you know? I mean how do you tell someone something like that??
揑抦 sorry that I burdened you with it, Shane.?She wipes a stray tear from her eye. I step closer to her and put my arms around her and she leans against me.
揇on抰 be. Someone has to tell them, and it抯 better that it comes from me. And now that Paul knows we know,?I sigh, 揑 need to tell them as soon as possible, but I want to speak to him first.?
The whistling of the kettle pierces the air and she rushes to take it from the heat.
揟hat makes sense. And what about Jessie? Does she know??Em asks as she pours water into her old yellow teapot.
揘o. It抯 not fair to ask her to keep a secret like that.?
揙f course not,?she purses her lips and then looks up as the kitchen door opens and Aoife walks in.
揇o you have any of those ginger biscuits, Mammy??
揙f course, petal,?Em turns and opens a cupboard. 揧ou feeling queasy again??
揘o. I told Jessie how amazing they are,?she laughs. 揝o I said we should have some with our tea.?
I roll my eyes. My girl has such a sweet tooth.
揑抣l bring some through,?Em says with a smile and Aoife walks out of the kitchen, leaving us alone again.
揇id Paul leave a contact number, or tell you where he抯 staying??I ask.
揘o,?she replies with a shake of her head. 揂s elusive as he ever was. Does he still have that old place out in Antrim??
揘ot as far as I know. My lawyer told me it was sold off years ago. Did he say what his plans were??
揘ot really. He did say he intended to catch up with you soon, so I expect you抣l be seeing him shortly.?
揇id he tell you why, Em??I ask, conscious that Aoife or Jessie could walk into the room at any moment.
She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. 揌e said that he loved her,?she replies with a shrug. 揑sn抰 that the reason any of us do anything, Shane??
Chapter 11
Jessie
After we抳e finished our tea and eaten some of Em抯 homemade ginger biscuits, Aoife and I go into the garden. It is a truly beautiful place. Em has so many wildflowers growing. The wild jasmine smells incredible and she has promised to make me some soaps with it and send them out to New York. Seeing her and Shane together has been so lovely. I see a completely different side of him with her. He is sweet and helpful and gracious, and he rarely curses in front of her.
揌ow long have you known Shane??Aoife asks.
揢mm. About nine months now.?
揌ow did you meet??she asks with a smile.
Hmm. He blew up my old boss抯 house and then threatened to kill me too, but I persuaded him and his brothers to kidnap me instead. 揟hrough work,?I say.
揙h. Have you always lived in New York??
揢mm. No. I抳e moved around a lot.?
揜eally? I抳e never left Ireland. Your life sounds so exciting.?
Too exciting.
揑t just sounds wonderful,?she says with a soft sigh.
揧et your life seems so wonderful to me,?I smile at her.
I hadn抰 heard Shane walking up behind us and he startles me as he slips a hand around my waist. 揥e should get going soon, sweetheart.?
揙h, let me get you that recipe for Irish stew before you go,?Aoife says. 揗y mammy makes the best, I swear.?
揟hank you,?I say with a smile as I watch her disappear back into the house.
揇id you mean that??Shane asks when we are alone.
揥hat??I frown in confusion.
揟hat Aoife抯 life seems wonderful??
揥ell, yes. Imagine living here and never having to worry about some psychopath trying to murder you. She抯 in love with Noel. They抮e getting married. They have a lovely baby on the way. Of course it seems wonderful. For someone else, anyway,?I sigh and tears unexpectedly prick my eyes.
Shane slides his other arm around my waist and pulls me closer him. 揑 can see you living in a house like this. With a huge garden and six kids running around your feet.?
揧ou can??I smile at him.
揧es.?He brushes a strand of hair from my face. 揑n another life, maybe I could have been standing right beside you.?
揃ut not this life??I ask as my heart feels like it抯 about to break. I had never realized how good a normal life could be, and now that I抳e had a glimpse of it, I wonder if it will always make me wonder what if. He knows it too and I sense something shifting between us.
揑f this is the life you want, Jessie, I would give that to you,?he swallows.
I blink at him. 揧ou would??
揑f you wanted marriage and babies, you could have that,?he breathes. 揥ith Conor.?
揥ith Conor??I frown at him. What the hell is he on about?
揑 told you I抣l never get married or have kids.?
揥hat about the twins??
揟hey would never leave each other. They would get over it eventually, if they knew you were happy.?
揂nd what about Conor? Does he get any say in you marrying us off and becoming a dad to six kids??
揂re you kidding??he laughs softly. 揌e would fucking love it.?
揂re you being serious, Shane? You really think that抯 what I want??
揑抦 just saying that you don抰 have to give up on that life if that抯 what you really want.?
揧ou think I don抰 want to be with you??I blink a tear away because he is breaking my heart here. 揇on抰 you want this any more??
揙f course I do. I love you, sweetheart. More than anything in the world, and that抯 why I would never stand in the way of your happiness. I want you to at least think about it.?
揟here抯 nothing to think about, Shane!?I snap at him but then Aoife and Em are walking over to us and the conversation is over, at least for now.