Flames and seduction.
“Think we need to talk about that.”
A scoff shot from my tongue, and I crossed my arms over my chest to put some space between us. “I tried to talk to you, Jud, to open up, and the second I did, you reminded me of why I can’t. So, like I said, let’s leave it at that.”
Searching for a safer place for my attention, I turned to look to the far side of the room where Gage and Juni were on the floor, sifting through the stash of toys Gage had brought in his backpack.
Giggles rippled from her, her joy so easy and right.
Emotion welled at the base of my throat.
Jud’s attention drifted there, too, and there was no missing the way his hands curled into fists and every muscle in his being tightened.
Was he serious?
I swallowed around the disbelief, around the anger, around what I’d thought had been genuine care that he’d shown me in his office Wednesday when the panic had nearly consumed me.
When he’d promised he would be there.
When he’d kissed me.
Giggles fell from Juni’s mouth, and I shivered with the hope they elicited.
It’s what I wanted most—to give my daughter a normal life.
A good life.
One filled with happiness and safety and friends.
A home.
Jud’s jaw clenched, but there was something beneath it that looked like—sorrow.
I blinked against it, against the care that wanted to press free of my ribs, against the urge I had to reach out and hold a part of that sorrow for him.
A bunch of new guests piled in, and Tessa’s voice lifted over the disorder. “Trent texted, and he and Eden just parked. Get ready, it’s party time people.”
Juni popped up from her perch on the floor and came bounding my way. I reached out to take her hand.
“It’s party time, Mommy!” Then her smile grew. “Look it, Mommy, it’s your motorcycle friend. Did you go so fasts all the way to China?” she asked Jud when she took my hand.
I wanted to wrap her up. Cover her and protect her from the pain of rejection.
Only a rough chuckle slipped from Jud’s mouth, and his expression went soft as he looked down at her.
My ribs clamped around my aching heart, and I swore, in an instant, my entire being went to war.
A battle of intention.
One side that urged me to grab Juni and run, leave this place because I never should have put either of us in this position, and the other that begged for surrender. For a place to belong.
“Yeah, I had to go fast.” Regret filled his voice as he returned his attention to me. “But I came back.”
My throat tingled, and my skin felt sticky, and I tightened my hold on my daughter.
Before this could get any harder, I whispered, “Excuse me.”
I wound around him and led Juni away.
Away from the connection I could feel pulling taut behind me.
A lure I knew better than to heed.
The pull that was making me question my sanity.
Juni pranced along beside me, so adorable in her princess dress. “We are gonna haves the bestest time, Mommy.”
“Is that so?”
“Yep! Did you smells the food? And there are so many kinds, and my belly is rumbling and I’m gonna eat it all gone so I can have a cupcake because Gage said they’re super extra special all the way to the sky.”
She hopped three times when she said that, yanking me to a stop.
Um wow.
Someone was excited.
Realization settled over me.
What tonight meant to my daughter.
Juniper had never experienced anything like this.
Our celebrations had always been just the two of us. Our adventures ours, even when neither of us had wanted to take them.
Reliant on the other.
Apprehension mixed with the hope. With these building dreams that I tried not to allow to terrify me.
Juni squeezed my hand like she felt my reservations. A calm slipped through my blood.
“Wow. Those must be some cupcakes,” I finally managed to say.
“I think they gots diamonds in the frosting.” Juni whispered it, even though she dipped her chin in an emphatic nod.
“Diamonds?” I gasped our secret.
“Um…did you see the sparkles? They gots to be.”
Amusement tugged at my mouth. “It sounds like we’d better get to our spots so we can have the best party ever.”
I led Juni over to the table where the rest of the guests gathered.
A silent groan clamored in my chest when I saw Jud was seated directly across from me.
I glanced to the left at Tessa who tried to hide her smile as she started passing out hand-painted signs that had different sayings of congratulations on them.
Definitely a set up.
I peeked back at Jud.
Without shame, those darkened eyes raked over me. Hot coals that flashed with greed and something else I’d be a fool to diagnose.
Because that tension pulled and yanked and tumbled through my rattled spirit.
It felt as if it called out to the broken pieces. The pieces that had come to life under his touch—under his care—pieces I refused to let him shatter.
Dinner was amazing.
The table was full of Eden and Trent’s friends and family who were there to share their joy.
Eden had been shocked, tears springing to her eyes when she’d come in to her surprise.
Her new fiancé continually pressed kisses to her cheek, her temple, her knuckles, her mouth.
Love poured from them.
I was thankful to be a part of it, but I couldn’t stop the waves of unease that kept rustling through.
I didn’t do this.
I hid.
I lurked and concealed.
I existed along the fringes.
I didn’t step out to become a part of something big and beautiful this way, but I was having a harder and harder time pretending like I didn’t want to be there.
Eden’s father, Gary, sat to the right of me, the man so warm and genuine as he’d chatted with me throughout the meal and made me feel as if my daughter and I were a part of this tightly knit crowd.
The entire time, Jud kept peering at me from over the table. Watching me as if I mattered. As if something inside him had shifted and taken new shape during the two hours that had passed.
When I looked up and he pinned me with the severity of that gaze again, I set my napkin next to my empty plate, pushed my chair back, and stood. “Excuse me for a moment.”
Gary looked up at me in worry. “Everything okay?”
I sent him a feigned smile. “I just need to get another drink.”
He grinned and winked toward Juni. “I’ll hold the fort down while you’re away.”
Gratefulness spread through my veins, and I gave him a little nod as I moved to the bar set up on the far side of the room. I ordered another glass of champagne. I was going to need it to make it through the night.
Because I felt myself getting closer to an invisible barrier my heart kept trying to break through.
I accepted the flute then jumped when I felt the hand on my elbow. I whipped around to Eden who stood there wearing one of her soft smiles.
“Eden. Hi.”
“Hey, Salem. I had to sneak over here so I could tell you how happy I am that you’re here. That you and Juni came to share this night with us.”
An unsure breath crept free. “I wasn’t sure we should come.”
Her smile deepened. “I hope there’s no question now…that you belong here.”