She crossed her arms over her flailing chest. “Then what?”
My head hung in shame. “I’m afraid you won’t ever be able to look at me without seeing him.”
Didn’t need to say his name.
It already shouted and banged from the walls.
Lucas.
Lucas.
I hadn’t known it before. I’d only known his weight and his shape and the piece of my soul he’d taken with him when he’d gone.
It’d only required one single moment for the child to leave forever written on me.
Emotion slicked across my flesh when Salem stole forward, when she scratched her fingertips into my beard, into my jaw, when she forced me to look up and meet her eyes. “You’re right, Jud. I will never be able to look at you without seeing him. Without thinking of him. Without recognizing the scars on your back when you tried to save him. Without remembering it was you who gave me the time to get Juni out. Without seeing the man who saved us. The man who saved us twice.”
Torment clutched my spirit. “I was there.”
Said it like a confession.
Salem smiled and ran the pad of her thumb over my lips, her voice so soft when she whispered, “You were there.”
My eyes dropped closed. “Salem.”
Her fingers slipped into my hair. There was no stopping it, nothing I could do to keep my arms from linking around her waist.
From tugging her against me.
From breathing out in relief.
In hope.
My head dropped farther, and my forehead rocked against hers. “We’re a mess,” I murmured.
Salem eased back an inch so she could gaze up at me. She touched my cheek. “A beautiful, fucking mess.”
I grunted a laugh and pulled her tight, burrowed my face in the sweet spot of her neck.
“Darlin’。”
She sighed.
I cocked her a grin, let the tease rain free. “So, you’re looking for a job?”
She bit her lip. “Mmhmm…I’m looking for a job. I’m looking for my home. I’m looking for my purpose. Most of all, I’m looking for my man, the one who promised me forever.”
Then she fisted both hands in my shirt, a gleam in those eyes. “And if he doesn’t kiss me soon, I’ll stab him.”
Rough laughter bolted out, and I had her off her feet and in my arms.
And I kissed her as my heart found its rightful place.
Kissed her hard.
Kissed her fierce.
Kissed her until she was the only thing I could see.
Black. Fuckin’。 Magic.
EPILOGUES
Salem
He’d asked me once what I dreamed of most. My answer had come so easy yet had seemed impossible—a home.
A place where my daughter was free. Where we could put down roots so she could grow and flourish. Where we’d know we’d be safe and secure.
A place we could always return to because we knew that’s where we belonged.
I gazed out over the little backyard at the group of people who had become that.
A safe place.
A refuge.
A family.
Our home.
Affection pulled tight across my chest.
There was my mountain of a man angling back to throw the football to Logan who had broken around Trent and was in the makeshift end zone.
My wicked savior.
My rugged, sweet Jud.
So big.
So handsome.
His love so fierce and overwhelming I felt the ground shake.
Like he felt the crack of energy in the air, he stopped to shoot me a grin from where he played on the lawn with his brothers.
Gage and Juni were, of course, in the mix.
He winked at me.
“Well, look at that.” Mimi’s voice hit me from where she sat in the chair next to me on the porch. “That sly dog sure knows how to love a woman up right, doesn’t he? There you are, sitting all the way over here, and he’s still got my girl’s legs shaking.”
“Mimi,” I chastised quick.
Eden giggled from the chair on the other side of her. “Mmhmm…those Lawson Brothers have some tricks up their sleeves.”
“They sure do. Nothing but a swoon fest,” Mimi stated.
“Mimi,” I said again, holding back laughter and shaking my head.
“What? You know it’s true.”
I rolled my eyes and huffed. “Fine.”
It was true.
So true that I still didn’t know what’d hit me.
My life upturned. Upended. Set to right.
So unprepared for the joy we had found.
Tessa laughed from the other side of me. “Fine? Girl, you are legit on fire right now. About to go boom.” She made an exploding motion with her hands. “Like, your mad love has become some crazed love. It’s a little obscene, if I’m being honest. I think I got pregnant just sitting beside you. Get it together, why don’t you?”
I swatted at her arm. “Shush it.”
Grinning, she widened her eyes. “Never.”
Laughter floated, and my head shook as I sank back into the warmth and relished the way love poured through the summer day. The sky bright and blue and stuffed with plumes of white clouds.
Trent handed the football off to Juni.
“Go, Juni, go!” he shouted.
She started to dart up the lawn in the wrong direction. He was cracking up when he picked her up midstride and spun her around so she was facing the other way. “That way!”
“Oops!” She giggled and laughed and floundered her way down the lawn.
Jud was right behind her, lumbering slow, taunting her in his sweet way. “I’m gonna get you, Juni Bee.”
“No way, nots a chance. I’m ways too fast for you.”
He kept up behind her, staying a step away, and Juni screamed, “Touchdown!” when she crossed the imaginary line. Jud waited until then to tackle her. To wrap his massive arms around her tiny body and carefully topple them to the ground.
Juni giggled as he spun her so he was on his back and she was pinning him to the ground. “No way, too late, I already gots the points. Girls rules, remember?”
Gage flew their way. “I’ll save you, Juni Bee! We gotta hold him down.”
Gage dove on top of them, quick to change strategies as he pinned Juni between him and Jud. “Doggie pile!”
They both flopped over the top of Jud, squirming to hold him down while he playfully flailed.
“I’m going to take you out! One…two…three…tap it out. You’re done for, Uncle Jud!” Gage scrambled around to pin his shoulders to the ground while Jud continued to struggle, his laughter booming, his support and care so clear.
“Two against one, no fair! Gage in the Cage is getting too rowdy and strong for me. I’m done for!”
Then Juni edged Gage out and flattened herself over the top of Jud, clinging to his neck. “Don’ts you worry, Motorcycle Dad. I gots you, and I’ll protects you and loves you forever.”
Everything stilled.
Jud’s spirit and my heart and this love that had risen from the ashes to become the most beautiful thing.
Jud curled his arms around her and sat up, hugging her to his chest. “Forever.”
Jud
It was dark by the time we got back to the loft. Juni was fast asleep in the backseat of my truck, and her mother was resting in the seat next to me. Her head lolled back, that river of black cascading around her gorgeous face, toppling over her shoulders and caressing her cheek.