He was kind and charming, with his dimpled grin, even if he was quiet and somewhat broody all at the same time. It was later that night when everyone had gone to sleep, that I had a small momentarily insane lapse in judgment and brought out a bottle of tequila after seeing him again.
His handsome eyes gazing into the fire, his brow furrowed in thought, he didn’t even hear me approach. I knew who he was the moment I saw him, but when he didn’t breathe a word of his profession or fame, I knew he didn’t want me to recognize him. I imagine that sometimes the fame, and the fact that everyone knows who he is, can be overwhelming, so I played along. I tried to forget everything I knew about the famous Briggs Wilson, center for the Chicago Avalanche and all of the headlines that went with him, and what did I learn? He was different from what everyone thought. From how I reported he was. Kind, compassionate, selfless when it came to his friends and family. He was so much more than what the public perceived him to be. Different than what I thought he was going to be.
What started innocently changed into something combustible, with flames so hot neither of us could contain the burn.
I left the next morning after lying awake for hours, listening to the steady sound of his breathing. It wasn’t supposed to be so hard, to walk away. A quick weekend, something to take my mind off of the huge fight Ty and I had gotten into, and then… it turned into so much more. Yet, I knew nothing could ever come from our night together. He’s a professional hockey player, and I have more secrets in my closet than I could ever bear to bring to light. He would hate me if he discovered the truth, and I wanted him to remember the weekend we spent together as a positive memory, not something he’d hate me for even more.
It was the best weekend of my life, and I walked away.
Except life had different plans for me, and now I had to face the consequences of my actions.
“We didn’t exchange numbers or last names. Yes… obviously I know who he really is, but I can’t just reach out and say ‘hi, remember me? The girl you fucked into oblivion that one night, and uh, now, I’m pregnant. With your baby.’”
Tyler looks at me incredulously before shaking his head, his tone firm. “Yes, yes, you can. Look, you both weren’t one hundred percent honest that weekend and whatever, that’s okay. You both had a night you won’t forget, but this is real-life shit, Maddison. You can’t keep his baby from him and you shouldn’t be expected to care for it all alone.”
“I would never keep a child from its father. That is the shittiest move on the planet. You know me, I would never do something like that.”
He nods. “Then you have to find a way to contact him.”
I know he’s right, but part of me dreads, with everything inside of me, about coming face-to-face with Briggs again. Not only because I’ll have to tell him about our baby, but because I’ll have to tell him the truth about me.
About who I am.
“I know, and I will. I… just, I can’t believe…” I trail off, looking at the test I’m still clutching in my shaking hand. It doesn’t feel real, even though it’s bright and bold in front of me.
Sitting on the cold bathroom floor, wrapped in my best friend’s arms, I decide that no matter what, no matter what Briggs decides, I’m keeping this baby. This isn’t my plan, not by a long shot, but now it’s my reality, and regardless of how it came to be, I’m having a baby. This baby is going to rely on me to care for it, love it, and be the best mother that I can be.
I want this baby. I want to give it all of my love. Even if it is just the two of us. Taking on the world.
“It’s going to be okay, babe. I promise you. You never know, he may surprise you. Not everyone is as they seem from the outside. And if he decides not to be in the baby’s life then Kyle and I will be the best damn baby daddies there ever were.”
I laugh through my tears, nodding at Ty. “You’re right. I’ll come up with a plan. And everything will be okay, right?”
Tyler nods. “You’re not alone, we’ll be by your side every step, and Briggs will step up. He will.”
Turns out, he was nothing like the man I thought I knew, even from our short time spent together. And now, I’ve spent the last nine months preparing for my baby, alone.
An obnoxious, loud creaking comes from overhead, jolting me from the bittersweet memory still surrounding my heart. Caging it in like an unwavering force.
“What in God’s name is that?” Ty screeches, glancing at the stained ceiling above.
I can feel my cheeks warm. “Well, it seems like I’ve got a new upstairs neighbor after Mrs. Hanley went into the nursing home, and let’s just say, they partake in a lot of extracurricular activities.”
On cue, a man begins grunting at an obscenely loud rate, and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to die of embarrassment on the ratty carpet of my tiny bedroom.
“Maddison,” Ty whispers in horror. “I’m going up there, right now! Unacceptable. God, he sounds like a D-minus porn star!”
“No, no, no!” I screech, reaching out to stop him before he can make it out the doorway. “It will just make it extremely uncomfortable and awkward if we ever have to encounter each other on the elevator. It’s fine. I just put my earbuds in and pretend that I don’t hear it.”
Tyler shakes his head incredulously. “Madds, you have to get out of this place.” He glances around at my apartment, and I nod.
“I know, but right now, this is what I’ve got. It’s enough for Olive and me. We’ll be fine. I think the maintenance man is supposed to be by next week to fix the leaky faucet and take a look at the shower head. He said he would try to get everything fixed soon.”
“If you need anything, I’m here, babe. Our apartment is small, but we can make room for you and Olive at any time. He may have to sleep in the bathtub, Kyle I mean, not Olive,” He grins, and holds out his arm for me to walk into. When I do, he rubs my back soothingly, and I sigh.
“Everything will work out, just like it’s meant to. For the time being… we’ve got socks to fold,” I say.
Tyler groans before saying, “Lead the way.”
Nine
When Ellie, the shy girl I’ve sat next to all year in communications, asked if I could fill in last minute for her at today’s press conference, I almost said no. Even with my “people pleaser” personality. Because one, well, I’m quite literally the size of a house, and two, I’m pretty sure my ankles weren’t going to fit in the ridiculously expensive Louboutins that I splurged on last year.
Turns out, I was wrong. Surprisingly, they do fit, and now I’m cursing myself for agreeing in the first place. My feet feel like they’re falling off, I’m exhausted, and even though it’ll all be worth it in the end, my puffy ankles and face aren’t something I want to see on camera. Not to mention, I’m more exhausted than normal since we’ve been prepping for Olive’s arrival. Ty and Kyle have been at my apartment around the clock, helping me get everything ready, and my body feels like it’s teetering on the edge of a full breakdown.
“Stupid heels,” I mutter as I shove my laptop bag farther up on my arm. It’s heavy, I’m tired of these stupid shoes, and honestly, I’d rather be at home in pajamas and my feet propped up on a pillow.