“I thought the same thing,” I said. “You know she works at a law firm in Selma.”
Alicia shook her head. “It’s a different world now, isn’t it?”
I unwrapped the bowl of macaroni and set it down next to the corn bread. “She told me she followed the case closely. I want to ask what she thinks about the family’s chance to win a civil suit.”
“The Williamses are here.” Ty poked his head in the doorway, then disappeared.
I wiped the table though I had just wiped it minutes before. It was the first time Mace had been to my house, and I knew my daddy still suspected there was something between us. There wasn’t and never would be. Ever since Erica had gone missing, he had pulled away from me. And I had done the same. A kiss on a living room couch did not mean anything.
Alicia touched me on the arm. “Civil, he’s in love with you, you know.”
“Who is?”
Before she could answer, Erica and her sister came into the kitchen. India grabbed me by my waist. I pushed a strand of hair behind her ears and used the edge of my fingernail to smooth her eyebrow. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Erica over India’s shoulder. Daddy had examined her after her return and found nothing amiss. Mostly, he said, she was exhausted and needed rest. But she still seemed wary, distant.
“I got a couple of new records,” I said, hoping that might interest her. I had bought them after she went missing, promising myself that if she returned I would bring her over to listen. I had to do everything in my power to resist just giving her my record player. She would have enjoyed it more than I did. But I couldn’t do that any longer. I could not try to buy their salvation. “Come on.”
The two of them followed me back to my room. Daddy had started playing some music, so I told them if they closed the bedroom door they could hear better. As I left I heard Erica explaining to India how to start a record without scratching it.
In the den, Mrs. Williams sat stiffly in the barrel chair in the corner. Aunt Ros sat in the chair next to her and was asking the woman if she had made contact with her inner spiritual animal. Mrs. Williams said “uh-huh” in an amused voice. It did not deter Ros, and within a few minutes Mrs. Williams was smiling and playing along. It was impossible to resist Aunt Ros.
Daddy squatted next to his stack of 8-tracks. Somebody had opened another bottle of wine. Mace had a glass in his hand, but it did not look like he was drinking. He and Ty were talking football. Lou’s wife was halfway between sitting and leaning on the edge of a barstool. The Ralseys sat in two folding chairs Daddy had brought inside from the storage room. Ty excused himself, and I took his place next to Mace.
“You alright?” I asked him.
“Yeah,” Mace said. “You?”
“So-so. Still can’t believe it’s all over.”
“Me, neither.”
I leaned forward. “You been avoiding me?”
Ty walked back into the room with a corn-bread muffin wrapped in a napkin.
“It’s rude to eat before dinner is served,” I told him.
“Who died and made you the queen?”
Mace giggled as if he and Ty were buddies now. I frowned. When it was time for dinner, we connected two tables in the dining room and covered them with a tablecloth. There was barely enough room to walk around the tables, but we managed it. I sat between Alicia and Ty, with Mace across from us. Aunt Ros chatted about her therapy practice, how her new methods incorporated alternative spiritual paths. She lamented that more Black people needed counseling and how she wanted to serve our communities in Memphis.
“I’ve got women that’s been sexually abused, or who were homeless from a young age and don’t trust anyone. There is some real damage, but the possibility of healing is there. I have seen so many women go on to live healthy, happy lives.”
“Ros, we could use that down here in Montgomery. St. Jude has some of those services, but it sounds like you really getting to know your patients,” Mrs. Ralsey said.
I didn’t say anything. I had learned the hard way that no good deed went unpunished.
There was a lull in the conversation, and my father raised his glass. “We haven’t had a chance to properly celebrate Lou’s victory. I want to raise a glass to Lou, to thank him for his belief and commitment.”
“Yes, Lord,” Mrs. Williams added. “Bless you, young man.”
“Thank you.” Lou put his face in his wineglass and took a long sip.
Erica asked for more sweet potatoes, and I passed them to her. I was nervous all this talk of the case brought her anxiety. I had not had enough time with her lately.
“Well, I got something to say, too.” Mrs. Williams set down her glass. “I want to thank all y’all for everything you done for my family. When my son, Mace, here lost his wife, the mother to these girls, I thought life couldn’t get no darker. But this year taught me that only God knows how much we can bear.”
I heard a sniffle. India chewed a mouthful of corn bread. Erica was staring at her grandmother. It appeared the sniffle had come from Mace. Was he really going to cry in front of everybody? If he did, I wouldn’t be able to take it.
“No, sir. We wasn’t never promised this here road would be easy. But I kept my faith. And knowing folks like you, Mr. Lou, and you, Miss Civil, make me see good in the world again.”
She cleared her throat. “I want to thank you. Each of y’all. I ain’t got much to give. I brought them pies in the kitchen. Made them with my own two hands. Put my heart into them. But I know I could never pay you enough. And I can’t express how I feel. I just ain’t got the words.”
“Yes, ma’am, of course,” Lou said. “No words needed.”
Mrs. Williams acted like she hadn’t heard him. The woman had more to say. “After they found Erica, I talked to her. I talked to my son. And I decided it’s time for us to quit Montgomery.”
“Quit?” I repeated.
“We going to live with our cousin Nellie. The one you met. She got a big house, enough room for all of us. Her husband can help Mace find work.”
“What about the girls’ schooling? India just found that school, and it’s going to be hard to replace it in that little town.”
“Civil. You done enough. You have become like a daughter to me. But I’m sitting at this table in this here beautiful house, and I see you got your own family. And they lucky to have you.”
I shook my head. This wasn’t the first time Mrs. Williams had told me to butt out, but to do it in front of everybody was too much. “Don’t the girls have some say in this?”
“They the ones want to go. Erica needs it. You and I both know that.”
Erica had mentioned moving, but that was emotional talk. She was just a child.
“Mace?” I looked over at Mace, but he was staring down at his plate. “Mace?”
He said nothing, and Erica still would not make eye contact with me.
I passed the rest of the dinner without hearing or seeing anything. I couldn’t taste my food and moved it around aimlessly on my plate. After dessert, everyone got their coats and started for the door. The girls put their arms around me, and I squeezed them to me. I love y’all, I wanted to say. I love y’all. I love y’all.