I take it from her, gratitude swelling in my chest. ‘Thank you.’
‘No worries. Call if you’re at a loose end. And see you Tuesday morning?’
I nod and she turns around, collects Elyas from the bottom of the slide, allows him one last turn before picking him up and strapping him into his pushchair.
‘See you next week. Wave goodbye, Elyas.’ He grins, waves, and the sight of his miniature fingers stirs something in me that clutches my heart in its grip. I force my lips into a smile, wave back, tears smarting my eyes.
Turning in the opposite direction, I begin making my way home, an image affixing itself in my mind: a little boy’s hand, wrapped around my gently pulsing heart, refusing to let go.
LIVVY
BRISTOL
Livvy was aware of her heart rate accelerating.
In front of her, Dominic sat in the armchair, his expression blank, unreadable.
Possibilities tumbled through Livvy’s mind like Alice down the rabbit hole, too quick for her to grab hold of.
Dominic reclined in his chair, stretched his legs out in front of him. ‘I’ve got a new job.’
It was so unexpected that for a moment Livvy struggled to reply. ‘A new job? I didn’t know you were even looking. Your Sheffield contract doesn’t finish for ages.’
Dominic shook his head, grinned as though he were in possession of the world’s most delicious secret. ‘It’s not for when Sheffield finishes. It’s starting in seven weeks.’
‘Seven weeks? But what about Sheffield? You said you couldn’t possibly leave before the build’s finished.’
Dominic waved a hand dismissively in the air. ‘They’ll survive. And Sheffield’s only a temporary contract. This new job’s permanent.’
Frustration blazed in Livvy’s cheeks. ‘So when I needed you to finish the Sheffield contract on time so I could take my promotion, your contract was absolutely unbreakable. But now you’ve got a new job, you’re going to terminate it early?’ The question was sharp in her mouth, like the finely tuned point of an arrowhead.
Dominic leant forward, took hold of Livvy’s hands. ‘Sweetheart, there was no way I could have broken that contract if I was still going to be self-employed. My name would have been mud, and I’d never have got another job. I’m only doing it now because this new role is permanent. You know I’d never deliberately stand in the way of your career. But my hands were tied then.’
For a few seconds, Livvy could find no adequate response. Their conversations over the past fortnight – about the promotion, about her return to work, about Dominic’s Sheffield contract – flitted in her head like the wings of a hummingbird, too fast for her to focus. ‘So if you’re coming back from Sheffield early, we won’t need any help with childcare from my parents or Bea?’
Dominic sat up straight, crossed one leg over the other at the knee, the hem of his trousers riding up over his ankle. ‘Ah, well, that’s where the second part of the confession comes in.’ He smiled, in the way a child who’s just found a secret stash of chocolate might smile. ‘The new job’s in London.’ There was a note of triumph in his voice, as though he’d presented her with a winning lottery ticket.
The implication of Dominic’s news flailed in Livvy’s head. ‘You’re going to commute to London?’
Dominic laughed extravagantly. ‘Of course not. It’s a permanent job. We’ll have to move there.’
The words took a few moments to settle, like the first flakes of snow on hard winter ground. ‘Move to London? All of us?’ Even as she said it, it sounded foolish, implausible.
‘It’ll be great – a new adventure.’
Livvy stood up from the stool, moved to the sofa, folded her arms across her chest. ‘But I don’t want to move to London. My life’s here.’
Dominic picked up a glass of water from the bookshelf. ‘I know it’ll be a big change, but it’s exciting, isn’t it? I think it could be really good for us.’
‘But what about my job? Have you forgotten about my promotion?’ The question sounded surreal, as though she had found herself in a piece of absurdist theatre and couldn’t follow the plot.
‘Sweetheart, this could be great for your career too. There are loads more think tanks and lobbying groups in London, and they’re much more influential than the ones here. This could be a great move for both of us.’
‘But I don’t want a different job. I want the one I’ve been offered. Did you not think to discuss this with me before you applied for a job on the other side of the country?’
Dominic rolled his eyes. ‘It’s a hundred miles away. It’s not as if I’m proposing we emigrate to Australia. It’s literally a few hours’ drive down the M4.’ There was a hint of impatience in his voice. ‘Honestly? I thought my application was such a long shot there wasn’t any point even mentioning it.’
Livvy tried to order the chaos of her thoughts. ‘It may only be a hundred miles, but I’ve got no interest in living in London. I love living in Bristol. My family’s here. My friends. My job. I don’t want to leave.’
‘For god’s sake, Livvy, do you think it’s normal for a grown woman with a family of her own to be living in the pocket of her parents still?’
‘I’m not—’
‘Yes, you are. I think it’ll do us good to have a bit of space from them.’ Dominic rubbed a hand around the back of his neck, shook his head with frustration.
‘But I thought you wanted to buy a bigger house, I thought that was the point of your new budgeting system. If we move to London, we’d be living somewhere half the size of this.’
‘Who said I wanted a bigger house?’
‘You did. When we were talking about money—’
‘This isn’t about the size of house we’re living in. This is about you being too scared to try anything new. Would it kill you to venture outside your comfort zone once in a while?’
The accusation hummed in her ears, but she tried to stay focused on the issue at hand. ‘So you’re just expecting me to give up the promotion? Without so much as a discussion?’
‘I’m discussing it with you now. Jesus, Livvy, there are jobs outside Bristol. With all your experience, you’d have a much better career in London. I’m not suggesting this move just for my benefit. This would be good for both of us. Why do you have to be so unadventurous?’
The criticism stung, an echo of her final row with Tom, when he’d accused her of exactly the same thing. ‘I’m not. You just spring this on me and expect me to agree—’
‘For god’s sake! You could see how excited I was. I’ve been looking forward to telling you ever since I found out. I thought you’d be happy. I thought you’d see this as an opportunity for us to do something new together. And yet all you can do is be negative. All you can do is moan about having to move away from your bloody family.’ He slammed the glass on the edge of the bookshelf, the bottom shattering beneath the pressure, water splashing over his hand, the shelf, the floor.
Leo jerked his head up from where he was playing in his bouncy chair, a moment’s silence as his eyes darted from Livvy to Dominic and back again. And then his face crumpled, howls of shock reaching from his throat, tears spilling over the edges of his eyes.