“You’re in no hurry,” Kimba says from down below, “because you haven’t had it. Once you do . . . whew, child. Hard to go without.”
I’ve never liked the idea of my body making decisions my head and my heart don’t cosign. I’ve seen both of my friends crying, depressed, or dejected after some man disappointed them. No dick is worth that.
“Hmm-mm,” Kimba breaks the sound into two syllables and bites her bottom lip. “One taste, one good taste, and you’ll be hooked.”
“God, there’s nothing like really good sex,” Viv groans, closing her eyes and tipping her head back. “Even going a week without Stephen . . . ugh.”
“A week?” Kimba scoffs. “Try months. I’m in a drought, but I’ve read the weather forecast, and it’s raining in Amsterdam, honey!”
The three of us laugh and shift into planning for tomorrow. We have a week in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and we want to take full advantage of it.
“So I know we’re all a little jetlagged,” Viv says, her voice drowsy, “but will you be refreshed enough after a power nap to go out?”
“Sure.” I yawn and tuck my arm under the pillow. “A few winks and we’ll be ready.”
“Good,” Viv mumbles. “Aya says we’ll start off nice and slow tonight. Just hit a brown bar, eat, drink. Maybe you’ll pick up something nice and blond to bring home, Kimba.”
“Fingers crossed,” Kimba says. “Legs open.”
“Oh, my god,” Viv groans. “Hussy. We need to establish mating rules. You better not be fucking some huge Norseman in the bunk below.”
Our drowsy chuckles intermingle and fade.
“We’ll work out a system,” Viv says. “Well for you, Kimba. Ms. I’m Waiting For Mr. Right Dick over there won’t need a system.”
I’m used to the teasing, but is it so wrong to wait until it feels right? To wait until you feel like you’ve met someone you want to share your body with?
My mind wanders back to my Sunrise Dance. The whole ceremony leads to that point when the spirit of Changing Woman supposedly inhabits you, even just briefly. For a slice of time, you take something holy into your body, and it changes you forever. I’m not saying sex will be holy, but the first time I share my body with someone, it will be special.
And I think it might change me forever.
7
Maxim
I need new friends.
The three with me tonight don’t make the best companions.
“Fuck,” Hans mutters into his beer. “I’d do all four of those at the bar.”
“Oh, yeah.” David Barnes, whom I know best of the trio, agrees, assessing the four women in question. “At the same time, if they’d all have me.”
“I think you overestimate your stamina,” I tell him, sipping my beer. “And your appeal.”
David snorts and sends me a sidelong glance tinted with the good-natured humor I’ve appreciated so much over the last four years. We both just successfully defended our dissertations, and for the first time in what seems like forever, I’m not a student.
“You have to admit, those four are lookers,” Oliver says. As British as they come, before starting his master’s at Utrecht University where we all met, he attended Oxford. He was Eton educated before that. Parents of the peerage. There’s a seat in the House of Lords waiting for him one day. Not that he’s interested in politics, but his parents hold the purse strings, and thus, sway over his life.
Not me. I’ve cut all the familial strings. Apron strings. Purse strings. Heart strings. I’ve only seen my mother and brother a handful of times in the last four years, and my father not at all. I took for granted what they meant to me—the place they occupied in my life, even though I saw them infrequently.
“The blonde is hot,” Oliver says. “Wonder if she’s actually Dutch? Can you believe I’ve been in this country four years and have never fucked someone actually from the Netherlands? I have to before we leave next week.”
Next week.
It took some finagling, several glowing letters of recommendation, and a ton of personal training to physically prepare, but I’m leaving next week to winter over in Antarctica. I secured a spot on one of the few wintertime research expeditions. Not what most guys my age are clamoring to do when they finally finish school, but Cades have never been most guys. In this, I’m no exception.
“The black girl is gorgeous,” David says, smacking his lips like he’s famished. “She stood up a minute ago, and her ass is like an eighth wonder. Dibs on that one.”
We all chuckle, and Hans clinks his beer glass to David’s.
“What say you, Kingsman?” Hans asks, his Dutch lilt more pronounced with each round of drinks. “Which one are you trying your luck with?”
Sometimes, I still don’t answer right away when someone calls me by “Kingsman.” It’s not a lie. It’s at least my middle name. All the men of my family share that middle name. Somehow, one of my ancestors a few generations ago got it in his head that we descended from Welsh princes. They immigrated to America as miners, and gravitated to the west with the gold rush. They got lucky. Struck gold in California and then lucky again with “black gold” later in Texas. Texas kings, they started calling themselves, and the middle name was born.
“I’m looking for all the king’s men,” my mother would yell, her playful voice carrying across the shiny hardwood floors and up the stairs of our Dallas ranch when she chased Owen and me for hide and seek.
A familiar ache settles in my chest. I haven’t seen my mother in a year. David invited me to spend Christmas with his family, and the summer before I stayed here in Holland for studies. I’m in a strange land, a sojourner with no home and no family. At least, not one that claims me any longer. That house where my brother and I played is no longer mine. Hell, even the name isn’t. No one has called me by Cade in four years. I’ve made a completely separate life for myself in another world, and if the Atlantic didn’t separate me from Warren Cade, our last fight did.
With my back and elbows propped against the lip of the bar, I take a draw of my beer, promising myself Maker’s Mark on the next round.
“For God’s sake, Kingsman.” Oliver laughs. “Stop counting the hairs on your arse and choose your pretty poison. Which girl will it be?”
“I haven’t even looked,” I admit.
“Aw, come on,” Hans says. “We need you to choose the one you want because we all know you’ll have your pick. They all go for you. Surprised that dick of yours hasn’t fallen off.”
Not exactly accurate, but the Dutch women have been good to me. I turn on my stool so I can see to the other side of the bar. The four women seem to be having a great time without us, laughing, clinking glasses and yelling proost every few seconds. I see the blonde, David’s pretty brown-skinned girl, and a cute brunette, but it’s the one with hair so dark it’s black under the lights that snares my attention. A dramatic slant of cheekbone, thick black brows, straight, bold nose. Her face is a collection of features that dare you to look away.