Back then, Grim reported that they were dating, but it wasn’t clear when they started.
“The first time it was not too long after college graduation,” she answers.
I tense at her words. “Were you seeing him when I came to the campaign office in Oklahoma?”
“No.” She clears her throat. “What happened that day was a mistake, but it never would have happened if I’d been in a committed relationship.”
“So you like to think.”
“I know so. I would never cheat on Wallace.” Truth rings in her voice, and I’m even less sure of what’s going on between them.
“If there’s a point, could you make it?” She asks, glancing at the slim watch on her wrist. “I need to get to the office.”
“You obviously believe my brother can win,” I say, lowering my voice and glancing around. Owen hasn’t announced yet, and this city is crawling with eyes and ears.
“I believe he will win. I wouldn’t have taken him on if I didn’t believe that.”
“But he’s a Cade. Same blood. Same last name. Same father as mine.”
“You still don’t get it?” She leans forward, holding my eyes in a steely stare. “Who knows if I would have gotten over who your father was? You didn’t give me the chance to decide. You did to me what they always do.”
She tilts her chin up to a proud angle. “You thought you knew best and decided for me. You took away my choices, let me get involved that deeply with you knowing how I felt about your father and Cade Energy. You deliberately withheld the truth to get what you wanted.”
“I should have handled it differently,” I admit through tight lips. “You have no idea how many times I wish I had told you from the start, but I didn’t.”
“You lied.”
“Yes, I think that’s been well established over the ten years you’ve held it against me.”
“You think I’ve been pining for you? I haven’t.”
That grates because I can’t count how many times I’ve rolled over in some bed in some city and remembered her hair spilled on my pillow. Imagined I could smell the sheets again after the first time we made love, a heady blend of our bodies together and the subtle perfume that kissed her neck. Every time I see a windmill I remember her low, sweet laughing voice calling me Doc Quixote as she rode a bicycle ahead of me.
“If you want to tell yourself what we had was nothing special,” I say, “then lies must not bother you as much as you say they do. I can’t lie to you, but it’s okay for you to lie to yourself?”
“It’s not like that.”
“We both had our own agendas, dreams and goals. It’s good we took time apart to pursue everything we wanted.” I reach for her hand resting near her tea, lacing our fingers together. “But I told you I would come back for you. I never forgot you, Nix. And I always hoped there would be a time when we could repair things between us.”
“You shouldn’t have come back.” She pulls her hand away, fixes her eyes on her tea. “Not for that. Not for me. If you’re really here to help your brother, I’ve laid out my terms and we can both help elect him. If you’re back for me, you’ll be disappointed.”
“I’m back for both, and I don’t intend to be disappointed by either outcome.”
Her eyes flash, gunpowder gray and just as explosive, when they meet mine. “I told Owen I won’t work with you.”
Last night, Lennix committed her entire team to Owen’s campaign. Kimba won’t let them pass on an opportunity this good. The stakes are too high for a personal wrinkle like a past relationship to get in the way. Owen’s in.
And so am I.
“Do you really think I came back for the thrill of working with you on a campaign?” I chuckle. “I don’t give a damn who ‘handles’ me on the trail. What’s happening between us is completely separate from Owen’s bid for the presidency.”
“Nothing’s happening between us.”
“Damn, I just got back.” I fake an exasperated sigh. “Give me some time. I’m going as fast as I can.”
“You know that’s not what I mean. I told Owen—”
“I know what you told Owen, and I’m more than happy to have Kimba as my contact. What the hell does that have to do with us?”
She frowns. “You agreed to the conditions.”
“I did, but your conditions said nothing about what I do outside of the campaign.”
“Bastard,” she says, her tone calm, her eyes flaring.
“We both know my father. I’m not a bastard. Asshole, yes. Prick, may—”
“What do you want?”
“The same thing I wanted ten years ago.” I soften my tone. “A chance with you.”
“Why?”
“Because no one else has done what you did for me. Not before you and not since. I want to see if what we had, what we should have had, is still there.”
“It’s not.”
“Liar.” Her lips part like she’s about to speak, but I don’t let her get that far. “I felt it last night. I feel it now. Since you value the truth so much, tell me you don’t.”
The muscles tense beneath her clear golden-brown skin, disrupting the fine line of her jaw. “Wallace and I—”
“Yeah, how do I get rid of him?” I ask abruptly.
“You’re asking how to get rid of my boyfriend?” Dark brows wing over the scorn in her eyes. “You don’t.”
“Do us all a favor. When he asks you to marry him, just let him down easy.”
“He hasn’t—”
"He will, and when he does, tell him no.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because.”
“This isn’t second grade, Maxim. ‘Because’ isn’t a sound or compelling argument.”
“Because me. Better?”
“Your arrogance is truly astounding.”
“Thank you for that.”
“Not a compliment.”
“I make my own compliments. How does it feel knowing you could bring a man like me to my knees?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll be on your knees, too. Should I tell you what you’ll be doing when you’re down there? Or do you remember?”
I lean forward a little, lower my voice.
“Do you ever think about how it felt to have my cock in your mouth, Nix?”
“Stop,” she grounds the word out, not looking at me, her fingers trembling around her teacup.
“To know that in that moment, I was completely at your mercy. That I belonged to you.”
“I don’t—”
“Because I think about you like that all the time. I want you like that again. Every night. Naked in bed and completely mine.”
“In what world could you possibly think I would belong to you?”
“In the one we make together.”
When I say it, whatever guard she had in place slips. Just for a second, and I see something in her eyes that tells me I’m not crazy. That tells me I’m not wasting my time. That tells me there’s more to her resistance than Wallace and our past and my mistakes and lies. I don’t know what’s behind that guard, but I’ll be damned if I stop pursuing her until I do.