Shane took his hand and squeezed. “You don’t have to deal with anything alone, all right?”
Ilya swallowed hard. “Yes. Fine.” His hand was trembling.
“I’m serious,” Shane said.
Ilya stood, pulling his hand away. “If there is something, I will tell you. But there is nothing. So let’s eat bad lasagna and shut up about it, okay?”
That really didn’t sound like nothing was bothering Ilya, but Shane had promised to support him if he didn’t want to talk. He stood too. “It’s not bad lasagna.”
Ilya managed to smile a bit at that. “We will see.”
Chapter Thirteen
“What are you doing tonight?” J.J. asked.
“Nothing,” Shane said, then immediately regretted it. Ilya had left yesterday and Shane was feeling the loss. He didn’t want to do anything social tonight.
J.J. placed one hand on the wall of Shane’s locker room stall, above where Shane was sitting, boxing him in. “Sweet. You should come out with me. I’m meeting some friends at this amazing cocktail bar that my buddy Benoit opened.”
“I don’t drink,” Shane reminded him.
“Still?”
“Yes. Still.” Shane resumed untying his skates, hopefully indicating that the conversation was over.
“Okay, well, they have other stuff to drink. I’ll bet they make, like, bomb mocktails.”
Shane almost reminded him that he didn’t consume most of the probable ingredients in a mocktail either, but decided to just shut the whole thing down instead. “I’m gonna stay in. But thanks.”
J.J. sighed and sat in the stall next to Shane. Hayden’s stall, but Hayden was in the shower. “It’s not healthy,” he said, in French. When J.J. switched to French with Shane, it usually meant he was about to get real. Or that he was drunk. “What do you do besides come to practice—” he waved a hand around the locker room, indicating the activity they’d just finished “—play games, work out, and sleep?”
“Lots of stuff,” Shane argued, hoping he wouldn’t be asked for specific examples.
“Like what?”
“I…see friends.”
“Friends,” J.J. said flatly. And skeptically. “Like who? Your parents?”
“No,” Shane said quickly, then scrambled for examples. “Hayden?”
J.J. frowned at him, then said, “Come out tonight.”
“Why?”
“Because…”
Oh god. “Because why?”
“There’s someone I want you to meet.”
Shane bent and yanked his skate off. “Nope. No way.”
“He’s super nice, and, y’know, handsome. He’s a personal trainer, and I figured you’d probably be into that.”
“And let me guess: he’s gay and single.”
“Well, yeah.”
Shane wanted to snap at him that just because a man was gay and single and handsome and a personal trainer didn’t mean that Shane would—okay, well, under different circumstances Shane probably would be into all of that, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that Shane had a perfectly good secret boyfriend, so obviously it was rude of J.J. to try to set Shane up with other men. Even if J.J. didn’t know Shane was with anyone, and probably assumed Shane hadn’t had sex in years. Or ever.
The truth was, it was kind of sweet that Shane’s NHL teammate was trying to find him a man to date.
After a slow exhale, Shane said, “I appreciate it, and I’m sure he’s very nice.”
“And handsome,” J.J. reminded him. “Even I can see that.”
“Sure. But I’m really not looking for a date right now.” There. That was straightforward. And honest.
J.J.’s eyes were full of concern, which made Shane doubt that he was going to let this go. “Why don’t you want to date anyone? It doesn’t have to be serious. You could just get laid, y’know?”
Shane glanced around the room nervously, but no one seemed to be paying attention. “I’m fine,” he said tersely.
J.J. laughed. “If being wound so tight you seem like you are going to fly apart at any second is fine, then sure.”
“I’m not!” Shane said in the tone of someone who was about to fly apart. “Do the other guys think so? Do I seem distracted or something? Is it affecting my game? Is that what this is about?”
J.J. switched to English. “No! Buddy, no. This is me, as a friend. You’re a great guy and I want you to be happy. That’s all. I promise.”
Shane leaned back in his stall until his head bumped against the wall. “Okay.”
“Okay, you’ll meet David, or…”
“David?” Shane decided to play this up as an end to the conversation. “My dad’s name is David. I can’t date a David!”
J.J. took Shane’s objection seriously. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t even think of that. You’re right.” He stood, looking dejected.
“Hey,” Shane said, “I do appreciate it. Really.”
J.J. brightened at that. “So if I meet any nice single gay guys who aren’t named David…”
“Introduce them to David,” Shane said. “Really. I’ll let you know if I’m ever looking, okay?” Which would hopefully be never.
J.J. nodded. “I’ll mind my own business. Got it.”
He left just as Hayden returned from the shower, wearing only a towel wrapped snugly around his waist. Hayden watched J.J. leave, then turned to Shane. “Did he try to set you up with that guy?”
“He told you?” Shane did not like the idea of his love life being a team concern.
“Yeah, he told me.”
“Why didn’t you, like, discourage him?”
“Because the dude sounded perfect for you.” Hayden held his arms out when Shane’s mouth dropped open. “What? I think you can do better!”
“For fuck’s sake. Thanks, Hayden.”
Hayden sat next to him, and nudged his arm with his elbow. “I’m kidding. Mostly. Besides.” He leaned in. “I know you and Ilya are married now, so…”
Shane closed his eyes. “Oh my god.”
“Jade told me it was a beautiful ceremony. I’m a little hurt that I wasn’t invited but, y’know. I’m happy for you kids.”
“Shut up.”
Hayden laughed, and eventually Shane joined him.
“You know,” Hayden said seriously, “even though I give you shit about him, I do hope that I’d be invited. If you ever did get married for real.”
Shane stared at him, simultaneously touched by Hayden’s support and baffled that he thought Shane wouldn’t invite him to this hypothetical wedding. “Of course you would be. Don’t be fucking stupid.”
Hayden grinned. “Good. Just making sure.”
“I kind of doubt we’d ever have, like, a traditional wedding with all the stuff, but if we have anything at all, you’re on the list, all right?”
“Cool. Is Rozanov on the list, or…”
“Fuck off,” Shane laughed. “You’re off the list now.”