He’s kidding, I know this, but there’s no denying I will be careful with Ryan Shay’s heart for as long as he lets me have it.
I nod against him.
“Now use your words and tell me exactly how you want me to fuck you for the first time.”
29
RYAN
With my back against the mattress, I leave my legs sprawled on the bed because this is what she wanted. Her on top, riding me. I’ll take her any way she wants, but I’m also well aware she’s being cautious about my injury. Though in this moment, there is no pain, only an overwhelming need to be inside of her.
“Come here,” I urge, my voice hoarse.
Indy is stunning, always has been, but now that I know her, seen the most vulnerable parts of her, I truly don’t think I’ve laid eyes on a more beautiful human. And when she straddles her naked body on top of mine, I’m done for.
Thank God she just made me come because there’s no way in hell I’d last more than ten seconds inside of her if she hadn’t.
Using my thumb, I rub her clit in tight circles, giving myself time to be ready to go again.
“Is this what you want?” I ask for reassurance.
Indy’s eyelids flicker, her palms braced against my chest. “I want you.”
I want you.
I’ve heard the phrase countless times, but the words haven’t held the same meaning until today. Teams have wanted me for my talent, agents have wanted me for my name, and women have wanted me for what I can provide.
Indy wants me for me.
“If this is what you want, then I do too,” she continues, trailing hot kisses along my jawline as she rocks her hips against my fingers. “If you want to wait, we can wait, but Ryan, I’ve never wanted anything or anyone more than I want you.” She punctuates the statement by cradling my cheeks, leaning down, and kissing my lips like it’s the last time she’ll get the chance to.
But after tonight, there’s no going back. I’m all in.
I tried so hard to deny it. I had fully convinced myself there wasn’t a woman in the world that would change me, distract me, remind me of everything I once wanted. But in walked Indy Ivers, my living, breathing distraction, and I’m too weak a man to pretend as if she’s not single-handedly repairing all the broken pieces.
I thought I had loved someone once, but if this is what it’s supposed to feel like, now I know my heart was never fully invested before. I loved the idea of the life I thought I was going to have, but with Indy, even if we spend the rest of our days just the two of us in this apartment, I’d die a happy man with an abundantly fulfilled life.
“Indy.” I pull back to look at her, my brows pinched and eyes pleading. “I know you wanted this to be easy, but I can’t do casual with you. I’m in way too fucking deep to pretend you’re not it for me.”
“I don’t want casual.” She quickly shakes her head. “I never have, not with you. I’m sorry I let you believe that. You’ve been like a flash of lightning straight to my heart and I’ve been done for ever since. It was confusing.”
Those words have my cock hardening, growing against her ass.
“But you’re not confused anymore?”
“No. Because it’s become clear as day that you’re meant for me.”
“Fuck, Ind.” I drop my head back to the pillow below me. “Those are the prettiest words I’ve ever heard coming from the prettiest mouth.”
She glows under my compliment, once again grinding down on me.
Reaching into the nightstand, I grab the condom Dom gave me after dinner. I couldn’t exactly explain that I didn’t have one because I haven’t had sex in a couple of years, so I told him I had run out and with getting hurt, I didn’t have time to grab more. The guy’s got plenty of stock on hand at all times.
Slipping my hand up her spine, I cradle her neck and pull her lips down to mine, exchanging a few wet frantic kisses. Her tits rub against my chest, her ass grinds onto my cock, and I need her.
“Please,” I plead, urging the condom into her hand.
“Are you begging, Shay?”
“Yes,” I laugh. “I’m fucking desperate for you, Blue.”
“Good.” She tears the foil packet open. “I like you controlled for everyone else, but I want you unhinged for me.” She scoots down my body, sitting on my thighs. “Can you be that for me?”
“I can be anything for you, baby.”
I like her speaking into existence what she needs. Indy has centered her life around appeasing everyone else, but with me, I want her to be selfish. I want her to take.
We both stare intently as she centers the tip of the condom, and I have to breathe through my nose when her fist surrounds me to roll it down.
“Go slow with me,” she requests. “You’re bigger than I’ve ever had.”
“Keep talking, Ind. You’re good for a man’s ego.”
She smiles, climbing back over my hips and I take the moment to run my hands over her thighs and appreciate her body. My thumbs roll her peaked nipples. My palms cover her stomach and hips. My fingers cup her ass.
She’s so goddamn stunning and smart and she wants me.
Indy truly could have men falling to her feet if she were the type to ask for that, but instead, she wants me.
She lifts herself, rubbing her pussy against the length of my cock. That alone feels too fucking good.
I don’t speak because I physically can’t. My fingers dig into the flesh on her hips, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they left marks for her to find tomorrow. The anticipation is almost painful, and when my tip nudges her clit, pulling out the loveliest moan I’ve ever heard, I have to imagine just about anything other than the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen sitting naked on my lap so I don’t come before I’m even inside her.
I haven’t had sex in years and this woman is going to be my undoing.
Lifting up on her knees, she finds my cock and centers it. Her head falls back as soon as the tip rubs against her entrance, but she pauses there for too long. Breaking my stare away from our connection, I look up to find her watching me, and knowing her, she’s checking to make sure I’m okay.
I’m more than okay, so as we stare at one another, her brown eyes blazing into me, I hold on to her hips and push into her.
A shared gasp is the only sound in the otherwise silent room.
“So goddamn tight,” I grit out, slowly filling her.
“Ryan, it’s too much.”
“You can take it,” I reassure, but at the same time, I halt my movements, letting her adjust.
When she’s ready, she braces the headboard behind me, lowering herself the final inches, until she’s fully seated and stretched around me.
“There you go. Such a good girl for me, Ind.”
Her chest falls against mine, both our chests heaving in unison as I hold her there.
“I knew it,” I say breathlessly against her ear.
“Knew what?”
“That you were meant for me. Do you feel how perfectly we fit together?”
She nods against me, then rocks her hips slowly. She’s taking her time, and I’ll let her move at her own pace even if it kills me to not take more. I want her to know she’s in charge because I don’t know if she’s ever believed that.