With my hand on her neck, I force her eyes to meet mine. I give her a soft kiss on the lips and her hands wrap around my neck, her left leg lifting to hook around my hip. My hand falls to it, gripping her soft skin.
I’m going to show this woman that one man can be everything she needs.
ELLINGTON
MY HANDS REST on the edge of the counter, head down as I stare at the two pills.
I started using drugs when I was sixteen. The day after I lost my virginity to James. I hated that he made me feel so good. I knew it was wrong. But my body had been starving for three years. Craving something I couldn’t have. I cried when he left my room, and I stayed up all night, unable to close my eyes, afraid he’d come back and make me want more.
I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t the problem. That I had sat and listened to so many couples over the years talking to my mother in her sessions that I wasn’t as screwed up as I thought. I mean, some things I couldn’t understand why someone would take pleasure in—like being pissed on. Why? I couldn’t find the appeal of a golden shower, not even after watching videos. But then I realized that what I had experienced with James had felt good, no matter how wrong it was. So maybe what they had done also felt good.
To each their own, ya know. That’s when I told myself I’d try anything at least once.
Grabbing the neck of the wine bottle, I pick up the pills with my other hand and toss them in my mouth. Closing my eyes, I toss back the bottle and swallow them with a big gulp. If I have to get through this day, I’ll be fucked up.
Hanging my head, I suck in a deep breath and open my eyes. I stiffen when they land on a set of blue ones standing behind me. Sin leans up against the doorframe dressed in an all-black three-piece suit with his arms crossed over his chest. Eyes on mine.
I’ve been staying here at his parents’ house for five days now. I thought it would be odd staying here, but it’s felt more like home than my actual home ever did. I get up, he takes me to Barrington. Then when I’m done, we come back here. It’s felt normal. And there’s a pit in my stomach that keeps telling me not to get attached. It won’t last forever. It’s like a dream you don’t want to wake up from.
Wiping my wine-covered lips with the back of my hand, I turn to face him. I know he saw me take them. He’s known I do drugs. He caught me at a party once in high school passed out on a bathroom floor. I woke up the next morning with a text telling me to watch who I get fucked up around. I never did thank him for that.
“Getting the party started early.” The corners of his lips turn up into a smirk.
“Something like that.” I push off the counter and walk over to him and he pushes off the doorframe. His hands going to the waist of my floor-length dress. I chose black silk. I thought it’d be fitting. I’m not celebrating shit. I’m in mourning. “Why don’t you help me out.”
“Anything.” He wraps his arms around me, pulling my body flush with his.
“Fuck me.” I gently kiss the corner of his lip. “I want your cum dripping out of my pussy when I give my toast.”
He pushes me away, spins me around, and slaps my ass. “Bend over and pull up your dress,” he orders, not needing to be told twice.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
SIN
SHE’S BEEN QUIET since we left my parents’ house. A quick glance shows her in my passenger seat, head resting back, and eyes closed. The drugs starting to hit, if they haven’t already. I’ve never been one to do drugs. I’m not even much of a drinker, to be honest. Part of being a Lord is always being at the top of your game. You don’t want to be called out on an assignment and be too fucked up to complete it. Or worse, be too fucked up and get yourself killed.
I’ve never thought much about why she does them. I should have asked after the first time my sister called me crying in a bathroom at a party while Elli lay unconscious on the floor.
SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD
I push my way through the kids at the house, Corbin right on my ass. We were hanging out with a couple of girls when my sister called me, frantic and hiding while at a party. Coming up to the bathroom door, I try to open it but find it locked. “Open the damn door,” I yell over the music, pounding my fist on it. “Kira.” I hit it again.
It swings open the next second and I meet my sister’s wide eyes. “Oh, thank God, Sin. I can’t wake her up.”
I push my way in, and Corbin enters, shutting it behind him. I see her best friend on the bathroom floor rolled up into the fetal position. Her skirt has ridden up on her thighs, showing off part of her ass. Her hair fanned out and covering parts of her face. “Elli?” I ask, shaking her shoulder.
Nothing.
“Ellington?” I push her hair away and open her eyes to see they’re dilated. “What did she take?” I ask.
“I don’t know.” My sister sniffs. “I didn’t see anything. Elli doesn’t do drugs.”
“She took something,” I bark.
“Maybe she was drugged,” Corbin offers. “How do you feel?” He turns to Kira, his hands on her shoulders, checking her eyes as well.
“Fine,” she answers.
“Did anyone give you two drinks?” he snaps, making her jump.
“Yeah, but they poured them from the same bottle, and I feel okay,” she cries, wrapping her arms around herself.
I roll her on to her back. “Ellington?” Still nothing. I place my fingers on her pulse and feel it racing. Yanking the hoodie up and over my head, I order to Corbin, “Hold her up.”
He kneels behind her, lifting her to sit up by her underarms and I place my hoodie over her head. It’s longer than the skirt she’s wearing. And the last thing I need is a bunch of guys taking pictures or recording her pussy on display while I carry her out.
Once it’s on, I place my arms underneath her legs and back, picking up her unconscious body. Corbin helps pull the hoodie down into place to cover whatever it can. “Get the door. And clear me a path,” I bark out.
“Come on.” Corbin grabs my sister’s hand and yanks her out of the bathroom as I carry Elli out of the party with all eyes on us.
I took her home and placed her in her bed. I had every intention of going back to that party and demanding who the fuck drugged her, until I went to leave her room that night and found a bottle of pills on her nightstand. It pissed me off. My sister was right, Elli had never done drugs before. Not that I knew of anyway. Before her father passed, our families spent a lot of time together. I knew her.
I never thought to ask her why she started doing them. I should have. Maybe then I would have paid more attention to her life changing right before my eyes. It had to have been James. I saw the signs but pretended not to care. That I didn’t have the time to get involved. She was sixteen, for Christ’s sake. I knew not to fuck her. Because I’d be going into initiations soon. I knew touching her once and then not being able to for three years would be the worst kind of torture. Plus, I knew that she would one day be mine. I’d have the rest of my life with her.
That night was also the night that rumors started flying about her at our high school. They said she hooked up with several guys that night. She never denied it. I knew the truth, and she didn’t seem to care what others thought. All she had to do was ask me, and I would have ripped their fucking heads off. I would’ve done anything for her then, just like I will now. The only difference is, now she doesn’t have to ask for my help. I’ll do whatever I think is necessary.