‘He wasn’t happy. But he’s a pragmatist. He’ll understand that we have to protect ourselves.’
I’m not so sure. Would Max just let it go? I think of what Gabe said to me the other day. Max isn’t the nice guy everyone thinks he is. I think of what Mei said. Max Cameron is not the kind of enemy you want. He knows some dangerous people.
‘He’s worried the USB will fall into the wrong hands, Pip. But it won’t. It’s gone. Which means Max is safe from whatever is on it . . . and we’re safe from Max.’
‘But are we really safe? If Max is the guy you said he is, surely he’s going to try to get it back?’
Gabe tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and smiles at me. It is supposed to be reassuring, but it misses somehow. I get the feeling that he’s as concerned as I am.
The next question that slips out of me takes me by surprise. Yet I must realise the weight of it, because it comes out so softly even I can barely hear it.
‘There’s nothing else is there, Gabe? Nothing you’re not telling me?’
‘No,’ he says. I can see the sense of betrayal in his eyes. ‘There’s nothing.’
He puts his arms around me, and we drift into silence – Gabe in his world, me in mine. I try not to focus on the fact that I’m not sure I believe him.
59
AMANDA
BEFORE
Max and I both reared back as we heard the gunshot.
‘Baz, Jesus. No!’ Max cried. ‘I didn’t give instructions to shoot. I said not to harm him! What are you doing?’
I put a hand on Max’s arm. ‘What is it? What happened?’
But he didn’t meet my eye, and he shook his head to silence me.
‘Baz,’ he repeated. ‘Are you there? What just happened?’
Max listened. His eyes closed. ‘Shit. Shit.’ He walked over to the wall and rested his forehead against it. Then, again: ‘Shit!’
Baz must have continued talking because Max was silent for a while, just nodding. Finally he said: ‘All right. Yes. Call me when it’s done.’
He ended the call, walked around his desk and collapsed into his chair. It took me several minutes of pleading to get him to say anything at all.
‘What happened?’ I asked, kneeling by his side. ‘Tell me, Max. Please.’
‘It was an accident,’ he said at last. ‘A miscommunication.’ He had a faraway look in his eyes. I suspected he was in shock.
‘But I don’t understand. What kind of miscommunication? Baz is a professional. How did this happen?’
Max didn’t meet my eye for the longest time. When he did, there was something in his gaze. It looked a little like responsibility. Or guilt.
‘Baz didn’t shoot him,’ Max said. ‘It was Gabe.’
60
PIPPA
NOW
‘What are you looking for, Daddy?’ Freya asks that afternoon at the beach. It’s cold but sunny and the girls are playing on the sand in their tracksuits, with buckets and spades. I sit beside them on a towel, pretending to be interested in their banter, while utterly consumed by my own thoughts.
‘Daddy!’ Freya repeats. ‘What are you looking for?’
Gabe is on his hands and knees on the rocks, peering into the nooks and crannies. Since his phone call with Max, he’s become obsessed with finding the USB. He has fishing wire with magnets attached which he intermittently drops into holes and then pulls out again. So far, he’s pulled out two bottle tops, a five-cent coin and a foil chocolate wrapper. He’s so focused on his search that he still doesn’t hear Freya’s question.
‘Daddy just dropped some money,’ I say. ‘He’s trying to find it.’
The girls look appalled. They recently discovered the value of money when Dad gave them two dollars each to buy treats at the corner store. An important lesson in fiscal management, Dad said, as they considered the price of gummy bears versus Kinder Surprises. Also a royal pain in the arse, given that they now ask the price of every item on the shelf at the supermarket, and whether that is more or less than two dollars.
‘I’ll help,’ Asha says, picking up her bucket and moving to the foot of the rocks. I watch as she starts jamming her chubby little hands into the crevices between the rocks.
‘Keep looking, Daddy,’ Freya says supportively. ‘You’ll find it!’
I don’t share Freya’s confidence. These rocks would take a crane to move, and they are stacked at least six high. Something as small as a USB would likely have slid down a crevice to the bottom, particularly given all the rain we’ve had. It would be like finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. I have to say, I won’t be upset if it doesn’t turn up. Perhaps it’s the fact that I feature on that USB, but I take great comfort in knowing it’s buried under the rocks. That is, I think, the perfect place for it.
But Gabe appears to feel differently.
After nearly an hour, I get up off my towel and go sit beside Gabe on the rocks. ‘It’s not the end of the world if we don’t find it, is it?’ I ask.
It’s not, as far as I can tell. Yet since Gabe’s phone call with Max, and despite his assertions to the contrary, I can’t help but feel that I’m still missing a piece of the puzzle.
‘No,’ Gabe says. ‘It’s not the end of the world. The important thing is that Max thinks we have it.’
‘So why are you even looking?’
‘I’d just like to know that it really is gone. That it won’t show up unexpectedly in a year’s time.’
‘If it does, it’s Max’s problem, not ours.’
Gabe shrugs, but a flicker of something crosses his face. It looks a little like fear.
61
AMANDA
AFTER
It’s a sweet little beach excursion the Gerard family is on. Such a handsome family, out at the beach with their buckets and spades. They look like they wouldn’t have a care in the world.
But I’m starting to realise that it’s a rare family which doesn’t have a few problems. The Gerard family certainly have their fair share of troubles. Mental illness, infidelity, an illegitimate child and, now, criminal behaviour – packaged up as a happy family day at the beach. It’s just so interesting.
Perhaps the most interesting thing is that, as Gabe and Pippa sit on the rocks, agonising over their future, they fail to notice that their darling little girl has found herself a shiny silver piece of treasure. One with my name engraved on the side. She decides not to tell her parents what she’s found lest they make her return it. Instead, she pops it into her bucket and sprinkles sand over it, quick as a flash.
She’s her father’s daughter, that one.
62
AMANDA
BEFORE
‘Gabe Gerard shot Arthur?’
Max sighed. ‘Yes.’
‘But why was he even there?’
A look of shame crossed Max’s face. ‘He wanted to be there. He said it was his mistake that got us into this mess and he wanted to ensure that we got out of it.’
‘And you let him?’
Max didn’t respond, but his face said he understood his error.
‘Your judgement of him is skewed, Max,’ I said.
Max looked weary. ‘It’s a little too late for this, Amanda.’