‘Max.’ I held him tightly around his waist. ‘Oh, Max. I’m so sorry.’
He wiped at a rogue tear that trickled down his cheek. ‘Gabe reminds me of him. He’s similarly troubled. And similarly gifted. I guess I just got it in my head that if I took him under my wing and gave him . . . I don’t know, a chance to channel his gifts . . . he might be all right. He might not go the way Harry did. But I was wrong.’
Another tear fell. He tried to laugh it off. ‘Shouldn’t have had that muscle relaxant or the second glass of wine.’
‘You’re allowed to be emotional,’ I told him. ‘Muscle relaxant, wine, or not.’
We found a bench and sat there for nearly an hour. And Max told me things he’d planned never to tell anyone. Things that shocked me, things that made me want to weep. Things that made me understand.
‘Anyway,’ he said, ‘I think Harry would have been pleased that his brother married someone so perfect for him.’
The beauty of the moment was not diminished by the fact that he didn’t say the words I love you.
‘Should we go home?’ I suggested, and he nodded.
Then his phone began to ring.
67
PIPPA
NOW
I am putting away the last of the groceries when Kat throws open the back door.
‘Aunty Kat!’ the girls cry in unison.
‘Hello, poppets!’ She smiles at them, but as soon as her eyes find mine, I know something is wrong.
‘I just need to speak to Mummy for a second,’ she says to the girls. She avoids Gabe’s gaze entirely. To me she says: ‘In private.’
I haven’t seen Kat like this in a long time. Her mouth is tight and tense, as if she can’t move it properly.
‘All right,’ I say nervously. ‘The bedroom?’
Kat nods. She follows me there in silence and closes the door behind us. I feel like I’ve just been summoned to the principal’s office. Tension radiates off her.
‘What is it?’
‘I was just at The Pantry. Everyone was talking about the fact that it was the NewZ owner’s wife who jumped at The Drop.’
My heart sinks. I sit on the bed, cross my legs. Then I uncross them again.
‘Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?’ Kat asks. ‘Do Mum and Dad know?’ When I don’t respond, she adds, ‘Do the police know?’
‘It’s complicated, Kat.’
Kat comes closer, squatting so her eyes are level with mine. Her bump is starting to show now and it looks uncomfortable. ‘What’s complicated?’
‘It . . . it was a coincidence,’ I stammer.
‘Pretty big coincidence.’
‘Gabe didn’t recognise her. He didn’t find out until afterwards.’
Kat frowns at me. ‘So, the police know then – that Gabe used to work for Max?’
I hesitate.
Kat throws up her hands. ‘For God’s sake, Pip!’
I could explain. I could give her the excuse that Gabe and I have been reciting to each other and to ourselves for days. It wouldn’t look good. The police wouldn’t understand. But now, in front of Kat, it feels weak.
‘It would have looked bad!’ I say. ‘You know it would.’
‘Because it is bad! If Gabe didn’t tell the police, it means he has something to hide.’
‘No. That’s not true.’
‘Is he taking his medication?’ Kat asks.
‘Yes – I’ve checked.’
‘So, you’re worried too, then? You must be if you’ve checked.’
I close my eyes, breathe deeply. ‘I always check. The doctor recommends that someone does.’ I open my eyes. ‘Look. He didn’t do anything. But if we tell the police, they’ll think he had something to do with it. And now that Max –’
‘Wait!’ Kat’s eyes widen. ‘You’ve been in touch with Max Cameron?’
‘Yes.’
‘You need to go to the police, Pip. You need to tell them about Gabe’s connection to Max. If Gabe’s done nothing wrong, he has nothing to hide.’
‘Why is everyone assuming that Gabe is the one with something to hide?’ I explode. ‘Why doesn’t anyone consider that it could be me?’
This stops Kat.
I take a breath. ‘Amanda came here because she found a video – of me and Max.’
Kat’s jaw drops. ‘You mean . . .?’
I nod. ‘It was before we left Melbourne. But Amanda only just found out. That’s why she came here. She jumped because of me, Kat.’
Kat sinks onto the bed.
‘So you can all stop pointing your fingers at Gabe; he didn’t tell the police because he was trying to protect me. I’m the bad guy this time.’
‘But why don’t you just explain that to the police? It’s not as if you pushed her.’
‘Gabe kept it a secret because he didn’t want me to blame myself. But if he goes to the police now and admits he lied about knowing her, and given his history with Max, it would look terrible for him. It’d seem like he was guilty.’
Kat’s forehead creases. ‘He lied to avoid looking guilty?’
‘No. He lied to protect me.’
She stares at me for a long moment. ‘That doesn’t make sense.’
‘Yes it does. He didn’t want me to –’
‘What is it going to take for you to see what is happening here, Pip?’ Kat cries. ‘What is he going to have to do? You’ve supported him through affairs. An illegitimate child. His career disgrace. A mental illness. What next?’ She rakes a hand through her hair. ‘We’re all worried sick about you, Pip. Me, Mei, Mum and Dad. We’ve been worried for years. Why do you think we all moved up here when you did? Why do you think we’re always at your house?’
This stops me. ‘Because . . . we’re a close family.’
‘No. No, Pippa. This isn’t about us being a close family. This is about you. You’ve supported Gabe through a lot. Someone needed to support you.’
It takes me a second to grasp this. But it’s too much, too fast.
‘You said this move would change everything,’ Kat ploughed on. ‘For a while, I thought you might have been right. Now this. At some point, you’re going to have to accept that it isn’t the illness – it’s Gabe. How long are you going to live like this?’
‘He’s my husband,’ I say softly. A pathetic response, I know, but the only one I have.
Kat stands suddenly. ‘Fine. But I can’t support you anymore. Not when you keep acting so damn stupid.’ She opens the bedroom door.
‘What if it was Mei?’ I yell after her. ‘Would you stay with her? Support her?’
Kat pauses in the doorway. Suddenly she doesn’t look angry anymore. She looks tired.
‘I’d want to,’ she says. ‘But she would never let me.’
68
PIPPA
THEN
Max Cameron was waiting for me by the automatic doors in the reception area of the huge skyscraper that housed his media empire, NewZ. It was late, and apart from the security at the front desk the foyer was deserted.
‘Pippa,’ he said, when he’d let me in. ‘It’s good to see you. I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances.’