‘No.’
Max’s gaze moves to me. He’s wearing a navy woollen coat over his clothes, brown leather driving gloves, heavy boots. I am in a T-shirt and jeans, but I don’t feel the cold. I feel acutely aware of how deserted it is – mid-week, mid-afternoon, outside of school holidays. There’s no one around. The houses on either side of ours are weekenders, empty today. Anything could happen and there would be no one but us to see.
‘Gabe just explained that he got rid of the USB.’ Max has the kind of careful blank expression that I imagine would be useful in business meetings.
‘It’s true,’ I say. ‘He dropped it into the rocks the day after Amanda died. But I have it.’
Gabe’s head snaps to me. ‘What?’
I hold it up. ‘Asha found it at the beach.’ I keep my gaze on Max. ‘But if I give you this, we want our life back. More importantly, we want to know that our daughters are safe.’
‘You have my word,’ Max says.
‘Wait!’ Gabe cries. ‘You can’t just hand it over. What’s stopping him from going to the police the moment he leaves here? Or what if he forgets to call off his thugs? Pip, he had our girls!’ Gabe’s voice cracks.
‘For the record, I would never have let any harm come to . . .’ Max stops suddenly. It’s almost as if he’s lost track of what he was going to say. His gaze drifts to Gabe and it becomes softer. ‘Baz was instructed not to scare them, just to leave the note.’
‘We have to trust him, Gabe,’ I say. ‘What choice do we have? Whatever dirty secrets you have on there, Max, are all yours.’
I hand him the USB. Max takes it, and for a moment everyone is silent. I half expect Gabe to make a grab for it. Perhaps he would have? But after a few seconds, Max drops the USB and crunches it under the heel of his boot. Then, while we watch, he pushes the remnants of the USB over the cliff with his foot.
‘I told you I’d destroy it,’ Max says to Gabe. ‘I also called Baz before I left home and told him I had resolved things between us. And I have no intention of speaking to the police. All I want is to know what happened to Amanda. She died suddenly, in very strange circumstances which I know almost nothing about. The only way I’ll ever find out what was going through her head in the lead-up to her death is if you tell me.’
‘She jumped,’ Gabe says. ‘She was devastated. She said your relationship was based on trust and fidelity. Since you slept with Pippa, she didn’t feel obliged to keep our secrets any longer.’
Max’s eyes move to me. ‘Amanda believed I’d slept with Pippa?’
Max stares at me. I force myself to hold his gaze. It’s the very least I can do. The only thing I can offer him. But I feel like I might die from the shame. ‘I told Gabe that’s what happened. I’ll never forgive myself.’
Gabe turns to look at me. ‘You didn’t sleep with Max?’
I shake my head.
‘All right,’ Max says. ‘What happened then?’
‘Like I said, she jumped.’
Max isn’t convinced and the men argue for a moment, but I tune out, stuck on something Gabe said.
Since you slept with Pippa, she didn’t feel obliged to keep our secrets any longer.
‘What did you mean, Gabe?’ I say. ‘When you said Amanda didn’t need to “keep our secrets” anymore?’
Gabe frowns, shrugs. ‘Did I say that?’
‘Was Amanda going to reveal something about Max?’ Then I think of the word ‘our’。 ‘About you?’
Gabe’s face colours. I stare at him as realisation dawns. I am an idiot. Amanda didn’t jump. Of course she didn’t! Kat was right. Gabe didn’t tell the police about his connection to the Camerons because he had something to hide. He wasn’t protecting me – he was protecting himself!
‘Tell him, Gabe,’ I say to my husband. ‘Tell him what happened to Amanda. The truth.’
Gabe looks uncomfortable. I see on his face he’s concerned, perhaps worried that Max is tricking him into something. Perhaps he is. But in that moment I can’t bring myself to care.
‘Tell him,’ I repeat, louder this time. And, finally, Gabe does.
83
AMANDA
BEFORE
I‘d only been standing at The Drop for a couple of minutes when Gabe came out. It was a miserable afternoon, windy, rainy, cold. The sun was preparing to set. The surge of adrenaline that had brought me this far was starting to ebb and I felt light-headed and exhausted. But I was determined. I wasn’t prepared to lie down, helpless, as my world collapsed around me, like my mother had. I was going to find out the truth. I wouldn’t let Max’s shame become mine.
‘Can I help you with anything?’ Gabe said.
I turned at the sound of his voice. I’d forgotten how handsome he was. Breathtakingly so. His voice was warm and friendly. It was little wonder people decided life was worth living after a few minutes with him. He approached me slowly, holding up his hands, as if to say I come in peace, stopping several metres back from the edge.
‘I’m not going to jump, if that’s what you’re worried about,’ I said, realising this was the reason for his caution.
Gabe looked puzzled at this declaration. There was a short silence as he scrambled to understand. ‘I’m glad to hear it.’
‘You don’t recognise me, do you?’ I said. I wasn’t offended; why would he? We’d only met a couple of times. Besides, I wasn’t particularly memorable. Not in the way he was. Or Max.
He came a couple of steps closer, peering at my face.
‘Amanda Cameron,’ I said. ‘Max’s wife.’
Now he knew. Immediately he became wary, even took a small step back. ‘Of course! Amanda . . . What are you doing here?’
‘I read the article about you. That’s how I knew where to find you. But actually, I’m looking for your wife.’
‘Oh.’ Gabe took a moment to process this. ‘May I ask why?’
‘Because I just discovered video footage of her and Max in his office. Pippa was half-undressed.’
‘Footage?’ Gabe’s face expressed his shock and disbelief, which I expected. It was part of the reason I’d brought the USB. But then he said, ‘Max filmed it?’
I stared at him. ‘Wait – you knew about this?’
‘Pippa told me. It happened over a year ago, before we moved away. But I had no idea it had been filmed.’
And there it was, the confirmation. I hadn’t realised how much I’d been hoping that it was all a misunderstanding. That when the footage stopped, Max stopped too. My head began to spin.
‘I’m sorry,’ Gabe said, softer now. ‘You must be upset.’
I laughed. ‘Upset? Max is the great love of my life. The only thing I ever asked of him was fidelity.’ I threw up my arms. ‘It’s bad enough that he would betray me at all, but to do it with . . .’
It was because I was so upset that I nearly said it. But I stopped myself. How ridiculous that was . . . even while freshly wounded by Max’s betrayal, I couldn’t repress my instinct to protect him.
‘I’ve spent my life keeping his secrets. Protecting him. And for what?’ I held up the USB. ‘This contains the contents of his secret computer. I could send it to the media. Or the police! I could ruin him! Maybe I will . . .’