I’ve worked hard to keep a certain amount of distance between us, and each and every day, I remind myself of the countless reasons I should despise her instead of want her… but I don’t think we can ever go back to the way we used to be. Not now I know how she looks when she comes for me.
“I need you to know that I have the utmost respect for you, Valentina. You are, without a doubt, the most valuable resource Windsor Finance has. I was out of line, and if anyone overstepped, it was me. I said things I didn’t mean, and if I could take back my words, I would. Hell, it isn’t just my words I’d take back. It’s my actions too. I don’t think I’ve ever regretted anything quite as much as I do that night. I care about you more than you might think, and the last thing I ever intended to do was hurt you.”
How could I have touched her when I know that I can never have her? There’s only one way I get to keep her in my life, and it’s as my employee, nothing more. I can’t risk jeopardising our precarious working relationship any further.
She flinches and grits her teeth. “You’re not the only one who regrets it, Luca,” she tells me, the anger draining from her voice, leaving only remorse. “I’d much rather we never speak of this again.”
She runs a hand through her hair and scoffs, her anger returning with a vengeance. “And Windsor Finance’s most valuable resource,” she repeats, a mocking smile on her face. “Right. That’s exactly what I am to you, huh? How could I, for even one single second, have forgotten?”
Fuck. Fuck. “I didn’t mean it that way,” I rush to tell her.
Valentina’s eyes flash with anger. “You seem to be saying and doing a lot of things you allegedly don’t mean,” she retorts. “Perhaps you should consider refraining from saying anything at all.”
She’s telling me to shut the fuck up, huh? “I…”
“You have a meeting in ten minutes,” she interrupts, pure fury in her eyes. “I will email you everything you need for it.”
Then she walks out, leaving me staring after her. How did I manage to make things even worse?
Chapter Nine
Valentina
“Val?”
I look up at the sound of my abuela’s voice and find her standing in the doorway of my bedroom. “Abuelita? What are you doing here?”
Her eyes roam over my face, a hint of concern in them. “I rang the doorbell twice, but you didn’t hear me, eh? I was worried about you, so I came to take a look. You haven’t come home in a while.”
I rise to my feet and grab her hands, noting how cold they are. “How did you get here?”
She smiles at me. “I took the bus and walked. I called you a few times earlier, but you didn’t pick up. I had a bad feeling, so I used the code on your fancy door lock.”
I lift our joined hands to my face and warm her hand on my cheek. “I’m sorry, Abuelita. I’ve just been busy with work. I should’ve come to see you and Mom.”
She leads me to my living room and sits me down before taking my hands in hers. “You didn’t come home because you were worried I’d ask too many questions.”
I blink in surprise. “What do you mean?” I ask hesitantly.
She shoots me a knowing look. “What happened, Val? Why have you been so upset lately? It’s been a few weeks now, and you haven’t been yourself. Did you argue with Luca?”
I pull my hands out of hers and wrap them around myself. “No,” I lie. “He’s just my boss, Abuela. What are you thinking?”
She smiles at me. “You have worked for him for many years now, Chiquita. He is more than your boss. He’s like family, no? Perhaps more than that.”
My nails dig into my skin, and I shake my head even as my mind drifts back to the way he kissed me. It’s hard to explain just how betrayed I feel. To him, it was nothing but a quick hook-up, a way to control me when he thought I was veering off-track.
He has no idea it was the first time in years I let someone in. I trusted him with my body and let myself lose control. It was a foolish decision, and it’s one I profoundly regret. For a moment, he made the boundaries between us melt away, and he made me want things I know I can never have, only to remind me that I’m nothing to him. It’s everything my mother always warned me about, yet I still acted foolishly.
“No. He’s just my boss, nothing more. You should stop watching so many Telenovelas because you’re seeing things that aren’t there.”
“Am I?” she asks, her brows raised.
“Yes!”
She rises to her feet and starts to unpack the food she brought me, placing different containers on my coffee table leisurely. “If that’s true, then why have you been upset ever since you went to that wedding?”
I stare at her in surprise. How could she possibly have noticed that? “I’m not upset.”
She glances at me and shakes her head. “What is it then? Did the wedding make you think about settling down yourself? It’s about time, Val. By your age, I was already running after your mother.”
I groan and fall back on the sofa. “Abuela. I’m focusing on building my career. I just want to take care of Mom and you.”
She looks me square in the eye and pauses, a yoghurt container in her hand. “But who is going to take care of you, Princesa?”
I cross my arms and sigh. “I don’t need anyone to take care of me. I can take care of myself.”
She nods. “I know you can, Val. But sometimes it’s nice to rely on someone, even if you don’t have to. Sometimes it’s nice not to be alone. Life goes by fast, Val. When you get to my age, what will you have? What memories will you have made? Your work won’t keep you warm at night.” She hesitates, and then she sits down next to me. “That boss of yours? He cares about you, no?”
I think back to his harsh words and bite down on my lip. He genuinely thinks of me as a gold digger. I could see it in his eyes. He thought I was using him for his connections, that I’d get with Joshua just because he showed me some interest. He seemed to truly believe that if it hadn’t been him at that gazebo with me, I’d still have done what I did, like I’m some kind of whore eager for a rich man’s attention.
For years, I’ve done my best to stay away from those types of rumors, terrified I’d end up walking in my mother’s footsteps. I know better than anyone that he lives in a different world, and that if we ever got together, it’d end in tears for me. After all, I’ve gotten my heart broken in the exact same way once before. This time, there’s a lot more at stake than my useless heart — my livelihood is at risk.
“No, Abuela. He doesn’t care about me at all. Didn’t I tell you? That man is the devil. He’s heartless and emotionless. He cares about nothing and no one but himself.” I suppress the aching of my heart and straighten my spine.
I’m nothing but an employee to him, if that. His family might welcome me into their homes and hearts, but he never did, and he never will. I always knew we weren’t friends, but I thought… I suppose I thought too much. I never should’ve let things get as far as they did. I never should’ve kissed him back. I should’ve known he didn’t truly want me. He just wanted to control me.