“What do you think you’re doing?” I ask, barely restraining my anger.
He grins. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Did you seriously buy this restaurant today? Why?”
Luca crosses his arms and nods. “I did.”
“I asked you why.”
He takes a step closer to me, and I take a step back, the two of us continuing this dance until my back hits the wall. Luca leans his forearms against the wall on either side of me, caging me.
“You want the truth, Valentina?”
I nod. “The full truth.”
He tilts his head and leans in a little further, until his lips are a mere inch removed from mine. “I don’t fucking know,” he whispers. “You make me act so fucking irrational when we both know I never make decisions based on my emotions. The second I heard you were going on a date, I knew I couldn’t let it happen. So yes, Valentina, I bought a whole fucking restaurant just so I’d have a valid excuse to be here tonight. Yes, I’m actively trying to ruin your date, and yes, I’m not letting you go back to that fucking table.” He’s breathing as hard as I am, anger and desperation marring his face. “You want the full truth? I fucking hate that you wore red for him, and I can’t stand the way you were smiling at him when I walked in. You have never smiled that way for me. Not once.”
I place my hands on his chest, knowing I should push him away. “Luca, you’re completely and utterly insane,” I whisper.
He takes a step closer, until his body is pressed flush against mine. “I am,” he admits. His hand threads through my hair, and he grips tightly. “Because you drive me fucking insane.”
His lips come crashing down against mine, and I rise to my tiptoes, a soft moan escaping my lips as I kiss him back. Luca tightens his grip on my hair and forces my lips open, deepening our kiss. We shouldn’t be doing this, but I can’t help myself.
“You taste as sweet as I remember,” he murmurs against my lips before sucking down on my bottom lip.
I pull away from him, panting. “We can’t,” I tell him, my voice breaking. “You know we can’t.”
He looks into my eyes, his expression portraying the sorrow I feel. “Valentina,” he pleads.
I shake my head and look away. “You have to let me go, Luca. This has to end before it ever even starts. You and I… This can’t happen.”
I push against his chest, and he lets his arms fall away. The regret in his gaze perfectly mirrors mine, and helplessness hits me hard. If he wasn’t a Windsor, and I wasn’t his employee… could things have been different between us?
Chapter Nineteen
Valentina
I scroll through my emails on my phone as I walk into the office, my heart sinking. Twenty-six job application rejections, and all of them came in at once. There’s only one way this could have happened considering my qualifications. Luca blacklisted me.
I gave him everything for years, and this is how he repays me? Is he ever going to stop playing with my feelings, with my life? He knows we can’t be together, and I don’t even think he truly wants me, yet he won’t let me go on a date. He’s marrying someone else, but he refuses to even let me leave this job. Why does he hold on to me so tightly when he has no right to? Why does he continue to hurt me?
My mood is somber as I step into the private elevator that leads straight to the office’s top floor. Once again, I’m dressed in red, but today it’s for an entirely different reason than yesterday. My mind involuntarily drifts back to Luca’s words last night.
I hate that you’re wearing red for him.
How did he know? For years, I was certain I wasn’t even on Luca’s radar, so how could he have known that I wear red whenever I need a dose of courage and good luck? How did he know about the YouTube food channels and the novels Sierra and I read?
I pause by my desk and stare at it for a moment, a profound sense of loss washing over me. Eight years. It isn’t just Luca I’m walking away from. It’s the company and the people that shaped me. It’s Grandma Windsor, and to some extent, Sierra, Raven, and Alanna too. This environment raised me, taught me everything I know. I’ve spent countless moments in the bathroom on this floor, crying my heart out because one of my superiors scolded me, or because I felt like I didn’t measure up amongst all the highly educated and talented people here. It took eight years, but I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.
I glance at Luca’s office, my heart heavy. A thousand conflicting feelings rush through me, but each of them tells me the same thing. I need to cut every tie between us.
I inhale deeply as I knock on Luca’s door before walking in, my chest aching in a way it never has before. He looks up, his expression as pained as I know mine is.
“Valentina.”
The way he says my name has always been different. I used to think his tone carried a hint of disdain, but it sounds a lot more like reverence to me today. Luca’s eyes roam over the red suit I’m wearing, and he looks down at his desk in resignation.
“We need to talk.”
He nods and lifts his head, his eyes filled with reluctance. The way he looks at me undoes me. It takes all of me to stand my ground, to not waver.
“Blacklisting me isn’t going to keep me from leaving, Luca. I fully acknowledge that I wouldn’t be who I am without you and your support, but I also firmly believe that I’ve repaid you for what you’ve done for me by giving you my all for eight years. I’ve stood by you, Luca. I’ve worked harder than anyone else, harder than anyone could reasonably expect. How much more will you take? How much longer will you punish me for trying to put myself first? I once heard you say that we should normalize walking away from toxic situations, isn’t that right? So let me walk away, Luca. Let me go. I’m begging you. Can’t you see that you’re hurting me?”
“I can’t do that,” he murmurs. He rubs his face and looks away. “I’ll do anything you ask of me, Valentina, but letting you go is the one thing I won’t do.”
“Why?” I ask, my voice breaking. “You’re getting married to Natalia in six months, and she should be your focus.”
He looks at me with such helplessness that I struggle to stand my ground. I run a hand through my hair and take a deep breath. “Maybe it’s just the fact that our time together is coming to an end, or maybe it’s some pent-up frustration between us. I don’t know what last night was, but it can’t happen again. I’m not someone you can casually hook up with before your wedding, and certainly not after it.”
Luca rises to his feet and walks around his desk. It takes all of me to stay where I am when my entire body responds to his presence. I can’t tell if I want to walk up to him and be closer to him, or if I want to take several steps away.
“You could never be just another hook-up to me, Valentina,” he murmurs.
“How could I ever be more when you’re marrying someone else?”
He runs a hand through his hair and stares up at the ceiling for a moment. “I don’t want to marry her. I’ve only seen her once since we got engaged — that day she came to the office. I saw her then, and later that evening for dinner. That’s it. I have no feelings for her. She means nothing to me.”