All I ever want to do is show her my love for her, and perhaps receive a little bit of hers in return, but I end up feeling drained and discouraged every week. Every time I come home, I leave with reminders that I can’t trust anyone, and that any happiness I may find would be fleeting.
When I was younger, I was convinced she was wrong. I thought that I’d be different, and that what happened to her would never happen to me. I thought I’d find an epic love of my own, and I’d have the happiness that had always eluded me. Somewhere, someday, I’d find a place where I’d belong, where I was wanted.
For a little while, I thought I’d found just that. In the end, my mother turned out to be right. Men truly can’t be trusted, and promises are just a string of words we put too much value on. Honor only extends as far as it’s convenient for it to, and love is a fleeting emotion.
Mom grimaces when the woman in her Telenovela is forced to admit to herself that her husband is cheating on her, and I look down at my phone, my entire body tense. I don’t think I have it in me to take more of my mother’s warnings tonight.
I clear my throat and push down the guilt I feel. “Mom,” I say hesitantly. “I need to go. Something came up at work.”
She nods instantly. “Go,” she tells me. “Your work is important. The only two things you can truly rely on are your education and your own income, Valentina.”
I stare at her for a moment. Shouldn’t that list include her, too? Shouldn’t I be able to rely on my mother too? I briefly felt bad for lying to her, but my guilt has eased a little now.
I walk up to her and press a kiss to her cheek before heading to the front door of the home she shares with my abuela, the same home I grew up in. This place should fill me with warmth and happiness, but it never has, not truly.
“Val? Are you leaving?”
I pause at the sound of Abuela’s voice. She’s leaning back against the wall in the hallway, a cup of aqua de sandía in one hand and a plastic bag in the other.
“I… yes… um, something came up at work.”
Abuela smiles at me, a knowing look in her eyes. “You have never been able to lie to me, Val.” She holds up a supermarket bag, no doubt filled with miscellaneous Tupperware. Abuela loves collecting old butter and yoghurt containers, and I can never be sure what’s inside them. Guessing before I open them has become my favorite game. “For you, Princesa. It’s still warm. Share it with that handsome boss of yours. Save him some.”
I stare at her wide-eyed. “How… how did you know I was going to the office?”
Leaving was an impulse decision. How could she possibly have known I’d do that and have had enough time to pack me food?
“You always hide behind your work when you’re upset.” She gives me the bag and wraps her hand over mine. “Your mother’s heart is in the right place, mi ni?a. She means well. She doesn’t want you to suffer the way she did, but the way she tries to protect you is all wrong. Don’t mind her, okay?”
She always knows exactly what to say to take the edge off my disappointment. “I love you, Abuelita.”
She nods. “I love you more, Val. I always will.”
I inhale shakily and hug her tightly. She looks and feels a little frailer than she used to, and it worries me. “Impossible,” I promise her. “I love you the most.”
She laughs, the sound easing the ache my mother caused. Thanks to her, I’m smiling as I get into my car, my night salvaged a little.
For a moment I wonder whether I should text my friends, Sierra and Raven, but then I think better of it. It’s ridiculous, but I feel guilty for telling my mother that I needed to work. I can’t help it. Because that’s the excuse I gave her, I now feel like I should at least do a little bit of work.
I sigh as I pull up in front of the office. The night guard greets me by name, and self-pity threatens to overwhelm me as the doors in Luca’s private elevator close. I’m twenty-eight, and I don’t have a social life outside of work. Even my two closest friends are people I know through my boss. It’s pathetic.
The office is deserted tonight, and I sigh as I walk toward my desk. I should be going out and hanging out with friends, yet here I am, at the office on a Saturday night.
I pause mid-step when I realize that the lights are on in Luca’s corner office and frown in confusion. I know he has nothing on his schedule tonight, so what could he possibly be doing here tonight?
Chapter Four
Valentina
Luca looks up in surprise when I walk in, a frown marring his handsome face as his gaze roams over my attire. I look down at myself, taking in the jeans and t-shirt I’m wearing, embarrassment rendering me speechless for a moment. I can count the times I’ve been around him in casual clothing on one hand. I never compromise on my professionalism, and neither does he.
I still remember the warning he gave me when we first started working together. He told me to never walk into his office wearing anything I couldn’t attend a board meeting in, and until today, I never have.
“Valentina,” he says, his tone as emotionless as it always is. We’ve been working together for years, yet he still calls me by my full name. I’m Val to everyone but him. From the very start, he’s made it clear that he dislikes me and that he intends to keep me at a distance. I suspect that some of his wariness comes from the fact that it’s his grandmother who hired me, but despite his endless questioning, I’m as clueless about her rationale as he is.
“Luca.” I force a smile onto my face and take a hesitant step closer. I don’t recall the last time I felt awkward around him, but I do now. I don’t have a legitimate reason to be at the office tonight, and I’m worried he’ll be suspicious of me. Despite his continuous mistrust, I’ve never given him a reason to doubt me, but being at the office on a Saturday night when he knows better than anyone that there’s nothing for me to work on? Even I have to admit that it’s weird.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, eventually.
I look away as I contemplate how to answer and decide on partial honesty. Luca must be handled with care. For years, he’s jumped on any excuse to fire me, and I can’t risk losing this job. His grandmother has shielded me from his worst attempts, but someday, my luck will run out. When it does, it’s my family that’ll suffer the most. “I just… I wasn’t having the best evening, and I wasn’t sure where to go. I just ended up at the office without thinking.”
I expected Luca to pity me, but instead, he simply nods. “Yeah, me too,” he says, his voice soft. I thought he’d have more to say, or that he’d question me further, but instead, he remains silent and stares back at his computer screen.
This is, perhaps, one of the very few things I appreciate about him, other than his disgustingly good looks. Luca Windsor never pries into my private life. The boundaries between us are as firmly in place as they were eight years ago, when we first started working together. He despised me then, and I’m certain he still does today — but he respects me too, and ultimately, that’s all that matters.
“Do you have dinner plans?” I ask as I hold up the bag my grandmother gave me. He’s dressed in a three-piece suit, as usual, and I know for a fact that he doesn’t have any business meetings scheduled today. A date, perhaps?