He pushes a hand through my hair and tilts my head, exposing my neck before he lowers his lips to my skin. “You won’t care if I pretend that you’re Jessica as I kiss you right here?” He presses his lips just below my ear, and I gasp.
He moves his lips lower and pushes the straps of my pajama top off my shoulder, exposing my breasts. “You don’t care what I feel or think, right?” he asks. “So you won’t mind if I think of her as my tongue flicks over your nipple, just like this.”
My hand threads through his hair, and I grip tightly as he sucks down on my breast, his touch punishing. “If I keep my eyes closed, I can just about imagine it,” he murmurs, before moving to my other breast.
“Stop,” I plead, my voice breaking. “Stop it.”
He pushes himself up and looks into my eyes. “Why?” he asks. “This is what you want, right? You want boundaries between us, and you don’t care how far you push me away, so long as you don’t have to admit to yourself that you feel this thing between us too.”
I turn away from him, but he cups my cheek and makes me face him. “Look at me,” he tells me, his voice low. “Look into my eyes and tell me you don’t feel a thing for me. Tell me I’m the only one who’s falling, the only one who wants more. Can you look into my eyes and lie to me, Valentina? Can you lie to me the way you lie to yourself?”
“Luca,” I whisper.
“You can’t, can you?”
I shake my head, my throat closing up.
“Then stop pretending like you don’t give a fuck what I do. Stop acting like you don’t care, like this truly is just business. We both know it stopped being that long ago.”
He drops his forehead to mine and inhales shakily. “Can’t you just let us be happy together?” he asks, his voice breaking. “I wasn’t the one who broke your trust, so why is it that I’m paying the price for it?”
“Luca, I…” I murmur, unsure what to say.
“I love you, Valentina Windsor.” The torment on his face is in contrast with his words, and somehow, it only makes my own heart ache more, even as it floods with that very same love. “I fucking love you, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t.”
He pushes off me and sits up, his back toward me and his face buried in his hands. “I can’t do this,” he murmurs.
I rise to my knees and stare at him for a moment, fear immobilizing me. For the first time in years, I fear losing someone more than I fear getting hurt.
I move toward him without thinking and wrap my arms around his waist from behind, my forehead pressed against his shoulder. “Then let’s stop pretending,” I whisper. “Let’s both stop pretending, Luca, because I think… I think I love you, too.”
Chapter Forty-Nine
Luca
My head snaps up at her words, her voice barely above a whisper, as though she’s scared merely saying that she loves me would jinx it. “Say that again,” I demand as I turn back to face her.
She looks at me, her beautiful eyes filed with vulnerability as her long hair drapes over her body, covering up the red silk pajamas she’s wearing. I suppose it’s only right that she’s wearing red tonight.
“I love you,” she whispers.
I pull her closer, until I’ve got her in my lap. “Again.”
“I love you, Luca. I know I shouldn’t, and I know it isn’t part of our deal, but I do.”
“Fuck our deal,” I tell her. “The only reason it exists is because there was no other way I could make you mine.”
I bury my hand in her hair and hold her close, my heart hammering in my chest. I see the fear in her eyes, the vulnerability she shows me. Words won’t reassure her, but time will.
I tilt her face gently and kiss her, slow and deep, as though I’m praying my touch will convey what words can’t. “Luca,” she whispers as I push her back onto our bed. Her hair spreads over our pillows, and she looks so fucking disarmed, so trusting, so very much mine. How do I ensure I never let her down?
I move on top of her and press a soft kiss just below her ear, making her shiver. “I love you,” I whisper into her ear, before moving lower, to her collarbone. “I love every fucking inch of you, Mrs. Windsor.”
Her fingers thread through my hair as I move lower, and the way she writhes underneath me drives me fucking mad. Tonight, I want to make her feel as crazy as she makes me. I want her desperate for me.
My wife moans when my lips brush over her nipple, and I can’t help but smile against her skin before letting my tongue flick over her. She’s sensitive, and I fucking love that about her. “My beautiful Ice Queen,” I murmur, one hand making its way between her legs. “You’re melting for me. Do you feel that? You’re soaking my fingers.”
She blushes so fucking beautifully when I trap her nipple between my teeth, teasing her as I slip two fingers into her. I’m taking it slow, knowing she wants more. “Luca,” she groans. “Please.”
I pull away from her and chuckle. “Please what?” The way my heart overflows with love and desire for this woman is surreal. This is all I’ve ever wanted.
“Please fuck me.”
Goddamn. “I need you closer,” I murmur as I move so I’m sitting up, my back against the headboard. “Come here.” She climbs onto my lap and roughly pushes my boxer shorts down, freeing my cock. “If you want it, then take it. I’m yours for the taking, Valentina.”
My wife smirks as she grabs my cock, her eyes on mine as she slowly lowers herself onto me. “Fuck,” I groan. “I love your pussy so fucking much.”
She giggles, and the sound makes my heart skip a beat. I place one hand on her waist and cup her face with the other, my thumb brushing over her lower lip as she starts to ride me.
“I love you,” she whispers as she takes all of me.
Fuck. “You’re making every single one of my dreams come true,” I tell her as I grab her hips. “I can’t be gentle with you right now, Valentina.”
I hold on to her tightly as I thrust into her hard, and she moans. Her pussy has never felt better. I thread a hand through her hair and pull her closer, my heart racing. I want to lose myself in her tonight. Fuck, I’ve never wanted to be one with anyone but her. Valentina leans in and kisses me as she rotates her hips, her touch as desperate as mine is.
The way she pants my name against my lips in between kisses drives me wild. “I love you,” I whisper, over and over again, my heart fucking overflowing with emotions I can’t contain. I’ve had to keep it in for so long that the words refuse to remain buried tonight.
“I love you, too,” she tells me, her voice fucking heaven. Hearing her say that in that sexy tone, her pussy wrapped around me? Fuck. This is better than any dream I’ve ever had.
The way she’s riding me drives me fucking crazy, and I try my hardest to hold on to my sanity when her moans get a little louder. Watching her lose control for me is a fucking privilege.
“Luca,” she murmurs, pulling her lips off mine. Her hand threads through my hair, and she grips tightly, her face pressed against my neck.