She chuckles as she walks out of my office, and I sit back, rattled. I didn’t want to let her get to me, but she just mirrored my exact fears. What happens when Luca finally realizes that we truly are too different? What if his attention does shift? It wouldn’t surprise me if he chooses to abandon me once I’m no longer useful to him — if anything, I expected him to do so for the longest time. Was I foolish for thinking that these feelings could last?
“Valentina?”
I’m snapped out of my thoughts by his voice and look up to find him leaning in my doorway, a hint of concern in his eyes.
“What’s wrong, baby? Did something go wrong with the Metric deal?”
I shake my head and rise to my feet, meeting him halfway. He wraps one arm around my waist and gently cups my face. “Then what’s wrong? Is it something Jessica said?”
I look into his eyes and sigh. “Will you always look at me this way?” I ask, the words escaping my lips without thinking.
“Always,” he replies instantly.
I smile and wrap my arms around his neck. “You don’t even know what I’m talking about.”
“I don’t need to. I know that I’ll always love you the same.”
“Even if I get old and wrinkly?”
He nods. “Yep. I’ll memorize each of your wrinkles and take them as signs of years we happily spent together. I’ll be aging right along with you, my love. Will you no longer love me the same if my six-pack disappears? What if my hair falls out?”
I purse my lips and shake my head. “I’m not sure, you know? I do love you mostly for your pretty face.”
Luca chuckles and pulls me closer as he tilts his head and kisses me, once, twice, before he pulls away, his touch gentle. “No marriage is perfect, and we’ll go through seasons in life. There will be times that we’re happier than others, but through it all, I’ll be by your side. That much I can promise you. I can’t put to rest all of your fears, not just yet, but ten years from now, we’ll look back at this moment and I’ll tell you I told you so.”
I rise to my tiptoes and kiss him, my heart heavy. I didn’t think I’d ever put my faith in a man again, yet here I am, wanting to believe every single one of his words. “I can’t wait for that day,” I murmur.
Luca threads a hand through my hair and smiles, his gaze overflowing with love. “Me neither, baby, but let’s not forget to enjoy every step along the way, all right?”
I nod, my worries put to rest. “I love you,” I tell him. “I’ve never told you this, but I’m grateful that you don’t demand my trust or faith, nor do you punish me for my insecurities. I know I’m not the easiest person to be married to, but you… Luca, if soulmates exist, I think you might be mine.”
The way he smiles at me makes my heart skip a beat. He leans in, but just before his lips meet mine, both of our phones start to ring.
I step back and frown as I grab my phone from my desk. “Hey mom,” I murmur, surprised that she’d call me when she knows Luca and I are coming over in just an hour or so. We promised to spend this weekend with Abuela and her, after all.
“Val,” she says, her voice sounding strained. “Abuela… please come home, okay? Please.”
I glance at Luca, who’s staring back at me, his face pale and his own phone pressed to his ear. His hand drops to his side and his phone slips out of it, the sound of it clattering to the floor loud in my quiet office. The heartbreak in his eyes tells me everything my mother couldn’t say.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Valentina
I stare at the closed casket in front of me, my eyes filling with tears all over again. I got one final look at her, and it kills me to know I’ll never see her again. Abuela looked so beautiful, lying there in her favorite dress. I’ve been trying to come to terms with the news, but it didn’t seem real until we arrived at the cemetery, the place filled with those that loved her.
Luca’s arm wraps around my waist, and I lean into him for support. He hasn’t left my side since we got the call. It all seems like a blur to me, but I remember fragments of him putting me in the shower, and asking both my mother and me to eat something. He’s taken care of us to the best of his abilities, and if not for him, I’m not sure I’d have it in me to stand here today.
“Val.”
I look up to find Grandma Anne, Sierra, Raven, Ares, Dion, Zane, and Lexington standing in front of me, their gazes filled with grief.
“What are you all doing here?” I murmur. I figured a few of them would drop by, but I didn’t think Dion would fly in for my abuela’s funeral.
Zane gently brushes my hair out of my face and sighs. “We’re your family,” he tells me. Sierra wraps an arm around me, and Raven presses a sweet kiss to my forehead. That’s all it takes for me to finally burst into tears, a sob tearing through my throat.
I’ve been trying my hardest not to cry, because today should be about celebrating her life, not mourning her death. Yet all I can think about is the gaping hole she’s left behind. My chest is burning, and I can’t control my thoughts. My knees give in, and I nearly drop to the floor, but Luca and Sierra hold me up.
Luca pulls me into him and wraps me in his embrace as I try my hardest to choke back my sobs, unable to keep my tears from spilling. My own tears trigger my mother’s, and Luca wraps an arm around her too, holding both of us tightly as we fall apart.
“H-how could she leave m-me behind?” I ask, unable to come to terms with the loss of the woman I loved most. Abuela passed peacefully during a nap she never woke up from, but it feels so unfair. I did everything in my power to give her the best medical care money can buy, and it still wasn’t enough.
“It was her time,” my mother tells me. “She… she’s with your abuelo now, sweetheart.”
Without my abuela, I’m lost. She was my rock, my only constant in life, and the only one who loved me unconditionally. Guilt fuels my thoughts, reminding me of each time I neglected her in favor of work, each instance a sin I will never be able to atone for.
I’m consumed by questions I don’t have an answer to. Why did I work so hard? What for? Why didn’t I spend more time with her? She once asked me what I’d have once I got to her age, what memories I’d have made. I realize now that she was asking me to live my life to the fullest, and I failed her. Luca holds me tightly, until my tears dry up. My heart has never felt this broken before. I’ve lost so much throughout the years, but nothing ever broke me like this did.
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Luca tells me when the priest motions for me to step forward. As Abuela’s only granddaughter, I’m meant to share uplifting stories of her, as a way to honor her memory and soothe the pain of those that have gathered to celebrate her life. It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever do, but I won’t fail her. This is the last thing I get to do for her, after all.
Luca squeezes my hand before letting go, his eyes never leaving me as I take my place in front of the microphone. I have no idea what I’d do without him. He’s taken care of every single detail, right down to speaking to the insurance people and coordinating with the funeral home. He lent me his strength, and I’m not sure how to repay him.