Julia held an earring up to her ear and got on her knees to examine it in the mirror hanging over the bed, her short exercise skirt falling into place as she did. Reid had hung that fifty-pound mirror with two hundred-pound hooks because he had been so terrified it would fall on us while we were sleeping. So far, so good.
I smiled at my granddaughter. “Those look good on you. You should keep them.”
“I can’t keep them, Babs. They’re yours. Besides, where would I even wear them?”
“Everywhere.” I winked at her. They were small clover studs that didn’t look good on me anymore. No one told me that in the disastrous process of aging even my earlobes would begin to sag. It was very unfair.
Julia smiled. “No. I think you’re going to have slightly more occasion to wear them than I am.”
I rolled my eyes and, putting the last pair of pajamas in my suitcase, sat down on the bed. “Jules, I am an old lady. I was married to the love of my life. What am I even thinking? Maybe your mother is right. Maybe I am a little senile. I’m eighty years old. I can’t date.”
She put the earring back in my bag. “You know, Babs, I’m not an expert on love—which should be very, very clear by now. But what I am an expert on is how hard it is to find. And I have to think that once you’ve found it, once you’ve been given a second chance at something really remarkable, you shouldn’t let it go. You deserve to be happy.”
“How did you get so smart?” I asked, cupping her chin in my hand. Ah, that face. That milky, unlined skin. Those taut, fresh earlobes. The things you miss do surprise you.
“Good genes.” She winked at me.
“My darling, I don’t want to talk about things you’d rather avoid. But how are you feeling this morning? About Hayes and his news.”
She shook her head and looked down at her hands. “I’m not going to tell Mom,” she said, looking up at me with wide eyes.
I slid my finger over my mouth indicating that my lips were sealed.
“We were together for so long. I can’t believe he’d just move on so quickly.”
I believed the right answer was that he had moved on about a million times while he was still with my granddaughter, but I kept that unpleasantness to myself.
She shrugged and sat up straight. “But even though I’m surprised—and a little sad—I’m finished crying over him. I’ve done it for like half my life and I won’t do it anymore. If he wants to make an ass out of himself, then great. Fine by me.”
I nodded resolutely. “Good girl.” I paused and added, “I’m proud of you.”
She smiled. “You are?”
She couldn’t hide the sadness in her eyes. In a world where people were supposed to materialize from the womb, life plans intact, I could only imagine how difficult these last few months had been for her. “The things people want out of life evolve. It’s necessary. It’s natural. But I’ve seen more people than you can imagine stay the course instead of risking the discomfort of change. So, yes. I’m proud of you. You risked the change. It has already paid off, and I have to believe it will continue to do so.”
Clasping my charm bracelet around her wrist and admiring it, she said, “Babs, it’s okay for you to risk the discomfort of change too, you know.”
I felt butterflies in my stomach at the mere thought of Miles. “In case no one has ever told you, everything becomes more uncomfortable the older you get.”
We both laughed, and she removed the bracelet, putting it back inside the felt-lined jewelry bag the girls had gotten me for my birthday nearly twenty years ago.
“Sooo…” Julia said. “Not to bring up sore subjects, but…”
I raised my eyebrow. “We’ve covered Miles and Hayes. Do we have yet more sore subjects?”
“I have to go talk to my professor tomorrow. The one who told me I wasn’t going to make it as an architect.”
My stomach rolled for her.
“I’m kind of scared,” she said.
Maybe I should have told her that I was scared too. But I didn’t. Instead, I thought about the other times in my life I’d been afraid. Wondering if I was making the right decision by marrying Reid instead of pursuing my very real feelings for Miles. Coming home from the hospital with two babies, not one. Moving out of my beloved home and into a fresh start. But I had made it through each and every challenge. I had come through them better than the woman I had been on the other side. And so I said, “The greatest things that have ever happened to me have come when I have chosen to face my fear.”
Julia zipped my jewelry bag shut. “Not true, Babs. I don’t believe you have ever been afraid in your entire life.”
Those words reverberated in my mind for hours after Julia and I parted, me heading back to the beach, her to Raleigh. I smiled thinking of Miles, of the way he held me close when we danced, of how his hand felt on the small of my back, at the silly way he grunted when he served on the tennis court. It was much too soon to call it love, but it was much too late in our lives to ignore it.
When I pulled back into my complex, I felt myself relax. As much as I wanted to pretend that nothing had changed, that long drive on the highway was getting harder. I was exhausted and shaken. As the stress of the drive wore off, I realized I had another thing to be nervous about: I had to talk to Miles. Who was I, at my age, to even pretend to have this sort of love affair? Did women my age get to feel these things again?
I was exhausted as I lay my small bag on my bed. I wanted nothing more than a cold drink and a hot bath. But I had always been one to unpack right away. I wouldn’t want to do my chores tomorrow any more than I did today. And, being at Summer Acres, there were so few of them to do anyway.
When I unzipped my tote, the first thing on top was a postcard of Biltmore. I smiled at the sight of it. Julia must have slipped it in while she was putting my things in the car.
Dear Babs,
Thank you for encouraging me to live out my dream. I can’t tell you what it means to me. I just want to make sure that you know it’s okay to live out your next dream too, whatever—and with whomever—that might be. Mom and Alice love you so much that they will come around. And if they don’t, I’ll shame them into pretending that they have. Follow your heart. Be happy. It’s what Pops would want. Love you from Asheville to Morehead City and back. （That’s got to be farther than the moon, right?）
XO Julia
I smiled, held the card to my chest and laughed at how similar we were. I’d snuck a card in her suitcase too. I hoped she would find it. I worried about her but reassured myself that her spirit was too abundant and wild to ever break.
I got up and, just as I was organizing my toiletries in the bathroom, heard a voice call “Barbara!” Those butterflies, the ones that had caused me to run off to Asheville in the first place, welled up. But then I felt myself smiling at the sound of Miles’s voice. When I met him in the living room, the hug he wrapped me in, the kiss he placed on my lips, felt easy, natural, almost automatic.
When we pulled apart, I gasped and put my hand to my lips. How long had it been since a man had kissed them?
“I… I’m sorry,” he fumbled. “I didn’t even think. It was just my natural reaction.”