I let my eyes fall closed and nod. “Ares,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry. Nothing I can say will make up for how I treated you last night. I’m so ashamed of my actions, and I can’t even imagine how angry you must be. I’m so sorry, truly. I don’t know what I was thinking. I never should’ve… I can’t believe…”
He grabs my hand and pulls me closer. “Not so confident today, are you? Last night you were all too happy to sit in my lap and demand to wear my t-shirt, getting naked in the process.”
I sit down next to him and wrap my arms around myself. “Do you really need to remind me of that?” I ask, mortified.
He chuckles. “It’s okay, Rave. I’m not mad, I’m just confused. You’ve never acted that way before, and definitely never around me. What’s going on with you?” Ares runs a hand through his hair and looks away. “I mean, I get being drunk and wanting to go home with someone, wanting that thrill, the release. But that isn’t you.”
I chuckle humorlessly. “You don’t know me as well as you think you do, Ares,” I say, taking the excuse he’s handing me. “It’s just been a while since I got laid, and I wanted it badly. Anyone would’ve done.”
He narrows his eyes at me and looks me over. “Do you do this often? Get drunk? One-night-stands?”
I purse my lips, unable to look at him. “Does it matter? I’m an adult, Ares. I know what I’m doing. I don’t need you to lecture me.”
“Raven, you need to be careful. You can’t just give anyone access to you. Don’t even dream of ever going home with someone you don’t know, you hear me? It’s hardly safe for a regular girl, but you? You’re the object of so many men’s desires. Who knows what those fucked up perverts are fantasizing about as they collect photos of you. I’ve seen the comments on all your posts. It isn’t safe.”
I wrap my arms around myself, unsure what to say. “Are you going to tell Hannah about this?”
He sighs and falls back on the sofa, his eyes on the ceiling. “How am I supposed to tell her I had her sister naked in my lap? I know you didn’t have any bad intentions, and that you were just drunk, but Hannah wouldn’t see it that way. It’s better not to tell her anything at all. I’ve had my fair share of drunken, embarrassing moments. You’re entitled to yours. I just want you to promise me you won’t do this again.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I won’t ever look at you that way again. I won’t come near you. I’ll keep my distance.”
“No,” he snaps. “That’s not what I meant. I need you to promise me you won’t get so drunk that you aren’t in control of what you’re doing or saying. Do you know how easy it would’ve been for me to take advantage of you last night? I had you naked in my arms, Rave. Do you know how easy it would’ve been to push my sweatpants aside and slide deep inside you? I could’ve pinned you down on this sofa and fucked you raw, and there’s nothing you would’ve been able to do about it. Don’t find yourself alone with a man that won’t respect you, someone who would take advantage of you when you aren’t thinking clearly.”
A blush stains my cheeks as his words resound in my mind. Was he tempted, for even a moment? “I hear you,” I murmur. “I’m sorry, Ares. This won’t happen again.”
“It’d better not. Not with me, and certainly not with anyone else.”
I nod. “It won’t,” I promise. I can’t believe I acted the way I did. For years, I managed to hide my feelings for him, until last night. It’s a good thing he seems to think it’s merely me being drunk, because my actions could’ve ruined our friendship forever.
“I really am sorry, Ares. I’m not even sure what to say to you, other than that I’m ashamed and remorseful.”
He smiles at me and leans in to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. “It’s okay, Rave. Let’s just forget that happened, okay?”
I nod and rise to my feet. “I need to go,” I tell him. I need some time to myself, to pick up the pieces of my shattered hopes. I can still hear his words ringing through my mind. I don’t want you, Raven. I’ll never want you.
I’ve always known that, but a small part of me thought I could change his mind. Maybe I’m just conceited, but I thought that he’d give in if I made a move, that he wouldn’t be able to resist me. I should’ve known better.
“Who is it?” he asks. I look back in surprise, confused. “Who is the man you were talking about last night? You said you regretted not going after the man you love, and just now, too, the expression you carried was pure sorrow. Who is he?”
I smile at him and shake my head. “Drunken ramblings, Ares. There isn’t anyone.”
“In vino veritas,” he tells me. In wine lies the truth. Yeah, that certainly is true for me. I nearly spilled all my secrets because I had too much to drink.
“Fine,” I admit. “I just don’t want to talk about it.”
“Whoever he is, don’t try to fuck him out of your system. That never works, and in your case, it’ll just backfire. You’re too famous, too easily caught up in scandals. Don’t risk your reputation for some asshole that can’t see what he’s got anyway.”
I chuckle in amusement and nod. “Yeah,” I agree. “I’m done. I’m done caring about him, hoping that someday I might have a chance. It’s time to move on.”
He nods hesitantly, and I wonder if at least a tiny part of him realizes that it’s him I’m talking about. With the way I acted last night, surely he must at least suspect it?
“Come on,” he says. “Get dressed, and I’ll drive you home.”
Chapter Ten
Raven
My heart aches as I take my sister’s wedding dress off the hanger. It’s beautiful, and it’s going to look amazing on her. Every second of designing and sewing this was torture. It was a reminder that my unrequited love ends here. Thankfully, Ares doesn’t seem to have told Hannah about what I did, and he hasn’t given it much thought either. I thought I’d destroyed our friendship, but instead, he’s just been texting me a lot more. He seems worried, and it’s ridiculous, because he’s the source of my agony.
The tips of my fingers brush over the contours of Hannah’s dress, my heart hollow. I designed a mermaid dress for her with a separate train that fastens around the waist, essentially giving Hannah two dresses in one. I can already imagine the way Ares will look at her when he sees her walk down the aisle in this. He won’t be able to take his eyes off her, and I’ll have to stand there as he looks at her the way I’ve always wanted him to look at me.
“Raven!”
I turn toward the door at the sound of my sister’s voice and force a smile onto my face. “Ready for your last dress fitting?”
She nods, her eyes roaming over the dress in delight. “It’s beautiful. Is there anything you can’t do?”
I smile at her through the pain. “Let’s see if it fits or not. I can make some final adjustments the night before the wedding to ensure it fits perfectly, but I doubt your weight will fluctuate much in the next two weeks.”